It’s been awhile since my kids have taken over my blog post, so without further ado I present the wisdom of Olivia, age 5, and Audrey, age 3.

Relax while we drop some knowledge on yas.

Olivia: Hey, Mom. Did you know there was a guy who died and came BACK TO LIFE?!?!
Me: Um, yes. That’s Jesus. Where did you learn that?
Olivia: At school. How did he come back to life??
Me (trying to figure out how to explain Christianity on a dime): I’m not sure.
Olivia: Well, let’s find him and ask!

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Audrey: Mommy, remember when I tried cheese?
Me: Yes?
Audrey: Okay.

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Me: Liv, it’s time to put your boots on. We’re going to be late. Again.
Olivia: Awwwww, I really want to finish drawing this zombie.
Me: Zombie? What? Whatever. It’s time to go. Put on your shoes.
Olivia: Mommy, my duty is to my heart.

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(Little feet tiptoeing out of bed…)
Olivia: Mommy?
Me: Yes?
Olivia: You forgot to read Audrey and me a story.
Me: No, I didn’t. I read you Olivia Saves the Circus. Ten minutes ago.
Olivia: Oh, right. I forgot.

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Me: Why didn’t you put on your jammies?
Audrey: Oh, yeah. Thanks anyway.
Me: What? Put on your pajamas!
Audrey: MOMMY!
Me: Yes?
Audrey: I forgive you. (Continues to NOT change into pajamas.)

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Audrey, watching Sleeping Beauty: I don’t like this movie. Magnificent is too mean!

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This morning… 90 minute delay, yet due to regular dilly dallying, we were running late. Ushering kids into the car and I slip and fall. Hard. Coffee everywhere. Audrey’s star student snack everywhere. Everyone crying.
Shining moment… Olivia says quietly, “I know you really wanted to drink your coffee, Mommy, but look on the bright side. Now you smell like coffee and coffee smells AMAZING.”

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Olivia: Unhand me, you beef!
Tom: Beef? You mean beast?
Olivia: No, beef. You know, like Beauty and the Beef?

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Audrey: Can we go to Chilis?
Olivia: AGAIN? We always go there. (No, we don’t.)
Audrey: I really need a cheeseburger.
Olivia: I know! Why don’t we try King Burger. They have crowns.

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Audrey: I’M WUMBA WOMAAAAN!

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Olivia: Audrey, even though you are really noisy, I still love you more than anything.
Audrey: More than I love these dresses???
Olivia: Oh man. You do love dresses a LOT.

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Driving to get ice cream with kids…
Me: We’re almost there. It’s just past that church.
Olivia: I want to go to church. They tell you stories!
Me: Yes, about Jesus.
Olivia (crazy excited): ABOUT CHEETAHS?!?!

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Olivia: (looking at a picture of Audrey)
Me: You like that picture?
Olivia: Yes, I love that kid. Audrey is my best treasure. Can I take this to school so I can see her anytime I want?

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Audrey losing her mind in the tub…
Me: Honey, WHAT is wrong?! Is the water too hot? Are you hurt??
Audrey: MY HAIRCUT!!!
Me: Your… haircut?
Audrey: YOU WASHED MY HAIRCUT OFF!!!!!