Spontaneity and flexibility do not always come very easily for me. If you only knew what is involved when I decide to be “spontaneous” you would laugh because when I say “spontaneous” what I mean is that I’ve attempted to mentally calculate every possible outcome based on my options, and have made an imaginary list of pros and cons, all while being on the verge of a panic attack because, God forbid, what if I made the wrong choice?
Do you remember reading that poem called The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost? You know, the one that talks about how there are two roads and he’s trying to decide which path he wants to take? Well, I think it’s beautiful. I’ve always loved that poem and admire Robert Frost’s work. But I must say, that person in the woods trying to decide which road to take, would never be me. You want to know why? Because I would have done a little research ahead of time, or perhaps I would have at least brought a map with me. Sorry Bob! (And yes, I understand that the poem is not literally about choosing which road to take, but you catch my drift).
Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m a planner and I guess I always have been. My mom has told me how when I was very young I would wake up in the morning and the first thing I would do was ask what we were going to do that day. In an attempt to get me to chill out, she would often tell me she didn’t know what we were going to do, even though she did. Unfortunately, I don’t think it worked very well. To this day, I always feel like I need to have a plan. And when I have a plan, I like to stick with it. It’s comforting for me. In fact, deviating from a plan can really throw me off my A-game. It will even give me anxiety.
As you can imagine, this only gets more challenging once you throw kids into the mix. You know, seeing as how they can be very unpredictable little humans.
Let me set the record straight, though. Just because I struggle with being spontaneous doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have fun. I LOVE having fun. I just usually like to know who I’m going to have fun with, what sort of fun I’m going to have, where I’m going to have the fun, when the fun will start, and how much fun we’re talking. Is that really too much to ask?
I know, I know. I’m a work in progress, what can I say? I’ll never have a true care-free spirit, but I am trying to be a little bit more easy-going. For my girls. Because they deserve some spontaneous fun. So I’m getting my feet wet. Literally. Because sometimes you just need to stop what you’re doing and dance in the rain. Especially when it’s not on your to-do list.