I’m not much use these days. All I have on my mind is my daughter’s upcoming birthday bash at our house. Her first real kid party, with her real live friends. I am a kid party rookie. It is so exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. So please allow me to empty the contents of my brain #unfiltered here in this blog post today. Thanks.

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One month out I realize Mia’s birthday is around the corner. She’s 5! How the heck did that happen? Oh shit, she wants a party. I love party planning! But I am in middle of the craziest, busiest, most stressful time at work. And we have never really done a kids party before. Eeek. Suck it up and throw your daughter a fun party, she deserves it! Ok. Do I do written invites? What kind? Where do I buy them? Do I have to write them all out and look up addresses? I only have Christmas stamps!!! Screw it – Evite it is!

Evite goes out weeks early because May is the most ridiculously busy month out of the entire year. There’s sports, weddings, Holy Communions, Bar Mitvahs, Bat Mitvahs, graduations, everyone in the whole world has a birthday (including me), dance recitals, graduation, and Mother’s Day to compete with. Slight panic that everyone will be too busy to come to Mia’s party scarring her for life. Snap out of it and realize she doesn’t care if 2 or 22 people show up.

RSVPs start to roll in. Yay! But wait, where do we put the food and everybody? Let’s clean out garage and make way for a party room! Spend a gorgeous Sunday morning cleaning dirty, dirty garage. Husband turns out to be very helpful. Who knew!? Feeling proud we cleaned the shit out of that danky garage. Learned that cleaning is good for the soul, but is an activity I’d like to do only about once a year.

Now onto supplies…we need cups (mostly for beer and wine for the adults). Spot a good sale on cups: 2 packs for $3. Yay! I buy two but realize when I get home, that I still don’t have enough. Thank goodness for juice boxes. Must not forget to buy juice boxes or else there will not be enough containers for people to drink out of causing dehydration in small children. Realize that I am ridiculous because we have a cabinet full of drinking glasses and a sink that has running water for people to drink.

Gotta order the food. Or should I make food? I love to cook, I can do it! There is just.no.time to make food. Pizza it is! Crap, do I have plates? And what about napkins? I hope these guys deliver. Call pizza people. Order piles of pizzas. They can deliver that day – yay! Worry they might forget on Saturday. Then realize that’s borrowing worry for no reason. Can you tell I’m high strung?

Lecture Give husband pep talk on how I need him to be helpful Friday and Saturday. He agrees and tells me to make a list of things for him to do. Great. One more thing to add to my To Do list.

Confirm entertainment. We are doing an art party so have to make sure there’s enough supplies otherwise kids might get pissed if they can’t participate in the main event. Art lady confirms that all will be ok. Buy boxes of bubbles and chalk, fill up the sandbox and get sprinkler ready in case it’s hot. Fingers crossed that and a swing set are enough entertainment for 5 year olds.

Peruse Pinterest for decorating inspiration and realize that some balloons, tape and a Happy Birthday banner will do just fine.

Am I forgetting anything? Oh yeah, the CAKE!!!! Mia wants an f’ing Frozen cake at a Spring Art Party. So much for themes! Oh well, themes are bullshit.  No they’re not.  Moving on…

Despite my 50 Shades of Crazy, I really do love planning parties. Sometimes, I tend to go overboard. I can’t help it. I’m OCD that way. I know my daughter does not care about the details. She will have a blast no matter what. And I have a good 10 years of kid party planning ahead of me so I better enjoy it. Over time it will get easier and I will know more of what to expect. Maybe this rookie kid party thrower will one day become a pro? Despite my worries and trying to be 20 steps ahead, I know it’s gonna be a great day even if we spill some bubbles and don’t have enough pizza. And really, the only thing I am looking forward to the most is the sheer joy on my daughter’s face as she enjoys her 5th birthday celebration with the friends and people she loves most.