What’s better after a long day of being a mom than a glass of wine, amiright? Work obligations and responsibilities are stressful! Children drive you bananas and leave you begging for mercy! The kids’ bedtimes bring with them reprieve from the chaos of the day. Finally, a glass of pinot or merlot, feet up on the ottoman, flip on your favorite show, and mentally check out and relax. Scroll through your Facebook feed and someone is always commenting about wine or posting a funny meme centered on the subject of alcohol. Wherever I go, moms always seem to share that common thread, the unspoken sisterhood of the cork. Or screwcap when
shit gets real in a pinch. Moms’ get-togethers or girls’ night out always mean cosmos or fruity drinks in fancy glasses. Motherhood and wine go hand in hand.
Ummmm … But not always. I’m a teetotaler. I’ve never drank wine as a mom. Actually, I haven’t had any alcohol in over 13 years. The decision to exit my lousy relationship with alcohol has allowed me to have a beautiful life. I never question putting the cork in the bottle and have no desire to pick up again. And I don’t judge those that drink; in fact, sometimes I really enjoy watching other people relax and have a good time. Hey, I may even get a little wild myself and over-caffeinate if I’m in the spirit!
But even with all of the confidence in the world that I made a solid decision and have no intention of wavering, every once in a great while I feel a little left out. Occasionally I even feel a little envious. And sometimes I feel a little shameful, embarrassed. A woman that doesn’t imbibe? Really? Why? Not even one? Just have one! Well, just have pinot then. Really? You sure? Oh. OK, that’s cool. I get it. Well, just have the champagne for the wedding toast then.
I suppose that I don’t worry so much that I can’t relate to others as maybe they might feel that they can’t relate to me. Like, sometimes I’m concerned that my abstinence might make people feel uneasy. Or that it might make them feel as though I’m going to judge them if they chose to drink in front of me … making them feel the need to explain themselves or justify drinking. (I promise, I’m not judging!) And maybe those thoughts are just in my head. But sometimes it feels like a little combination of both.
Please don’t think that I believe it is anyone else’s responsibility to make me feel comfortable for having made the decision to not partake. And very rarely does the topic even come up. Because even though I turned my drinking membership card in, I need to remember that it’s not necessary to be ashamed about admitting it when I need to. And no matter how I choose to unwind, I can definitely still relate to relaxing after a long day of momming! Except now there’s more “whine” than “wine” in my house.