I really do wish someone had clued me into the fact that as a parent there are tons of things you end up feeling guilt over. I had no idea. Granted, a lot of that guilt comes as a reaction to the judgement (perceived or otherwise) of those around us but nonetheless, the guilt is out there. And then there’s all that personal guilt. Will I ever lose the last 5 pounds? Will I ever be organized? It’s enough to drive a woman mad. Thankfully, in my
old age wisdom I’ve learned that there are some things that just aren’t worth feeling guilty about anymore.
1. My skincare/beauty routine. I’ve reached the fine age where acne and wrinkles are neighbors on my face. Lovely. Although also not something I can waste my time on anymore. And let’s not talk about the caterpillar eyebrows. Who knows the last time those guys were properly waxed or plucked. And I honestly don’t remember the last time I shaved my legs. #truth But seriously? Whatever.
2. My kids’ screen time. I used to obsess and worry about how much screen time my kids got. If they got more than the doctor’s recommended amount of daily time with the TV or the iPad I’d freak out and worry about the damage I’d done. Now, I’ve learned that everything in life is a balance. For every hour my kids spend in front of screens there is another hour where they are in their rooms playing Anna and Elsa (again) or outside playing with a pile of dirt. They are smart, creative, imaginative girls and if they want to zone out in front of the TV all day every once in a while I’m not going to feel bad about it.
3. Catering to my selective eaters. I have two picky eaters in my house. In addition there’s all those food allergies to deal with. Meal preparation in our home is no easy feat. So, when I hear over and over again that I should just cook one meal for my family and force my kids to eat it whether they like it or not, it gets kinda stressful. I’ve tried most strategies for getting my kids to eat with variety with limited success. They are their own individuals and they know what they like. As long as they are healthy I’m done trying to change that. We recently started using the strategy mentioned in this article and while no one has tried any new foods (yet!) it does ease the dinner time stress some, and it eases the guilt a ton.
4. Taking time for myself. I used to feel awful about leaving the house on a weekend afternoon to get a mani/pedi or go shopping alone. I would often schedule evening activities for after the kids went to bed, and forget the guilt I faced when I’d go off for a long run on a Saturday morning. I’ve learned that all these things are really important to keeping me me and not just mom. Taking time for myself makes me a better mom, and that’s not something that should make me feel guilty.
5. Your opinion of me. At this stage of my parenting and my life I refuse to let someone else’s opinion of me dictate my feelings. Sometimes this is easier said than done, but hey, I’m a work in progress. I’m done feeling guilty about my choices because you think negatively about them. They are my choices, not yours. No one’s breaking the law, no one’s being hurt, so let’s all just agree that we’re going to focus on ourselves and not what someone else does or doesn’t do. Feel free to think that I’m doing something wrong or that you could do it better, just keep it to yourself.
Anything you’re done feeling guilty about that you’d like to share #unfiltered?