I’m not exactly sure when my daughter decided I give her too many kisses, but it’s something I hear often now, and I don’t like it.
Doesn’t she realize that the moment I became her mom, smothering her with kisses became my job?
We used to snuggle daily, at least every morning after she had weaned. After over two and a half years of nursing, morning snuggles became our replacement, and after we would both stumble downstairs and onto the couch, she’d crawl into my lap for a snuggle while we both took each other in and slowly woke up together. That routine gradually tapered as she and I both went to school, when everything just felt busier.
But yesterday she showed me that she hadn’t quite outgrown her snuggles. After a rough night the evening prior, she seemed to wake up needing to reconnect. I cancelled my plans for the morning and we spent three hours snuggling on the couch. I didn’t care I had missed my Pilates class. I ignored the cool air coming through the windows, beckoning us to join it for a morning walk. Instead I turned my attention to her, only her, and we snuggled like she was two years old again. And for those moments, I could forget that she was four and about to return to pre k, and that in a week and a half my semester would begin again, and that maybe we wouldn’t have these moments as often as we liked again.
No, for those three hours it was just her and me, and the connection between us; the one we forged with fun days and long nights for the last four years – the connection that will continue to fuel us for years to come, no matter what changes lie ahead.