1-11. The numbers on the scale.

12. I didn’t know what to make for dinner.

13. I ate too much Chipotle.

14. The mere thought “dieting” or “not ordering guacamole.”

15. I didn’t want summer vacation to end.

16. But I don’t want to stay home forever.

17. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.

18. I’m having another baby. (happy)

19. I’m having another baby. (sad)

20. I’m having another baby. (scared)

21-23. I couldn’t sleep.

24. It was way too hot outside, and I was maxed out on rock counting and boob sweat.

25. I felt like a shitty mom.

26. I felt like an undeserving wife.

27. My daughter’s diaper had peas in it.

28. Thigh rub is real, and it hurts.

29. My baby is getting so big.

30. I can’t believe how much her life is about to change. (guilty)

31. I can’t believe how much her life is about to change. (excited)

32. I can’t believe how much my life is about to change.

33. There was a huge spider between me and my laundry room.

34. I read Stephanie’s post from last week and couldn’t handle how how fast this life is whizzing by.

35. I watched this documentary about a Buddhist monk who started a school for children in need and thought about how thankful I am to be alive and able to care for my kids.

36. I was getting on the highway, and the person in the right lane refused to let me in.

37. I felt completely exhausted from doing nothing but sitting in boring meetings all day.

38. None of the maternity clothes I ordered looked good.

39. My daughter woke up in the middle of the night, and I was reminded of how much I hate being up at that hour and how often I’ll be doing that again very soon.

40. The supremely bittersweet double-edged sword of being the only person who can comfort my sweet, screeching toddler in the middle of the night.

41. I love my kid so freaking much.

42. It’s hard to imagine loving the kid in my incubator that much.

43. Hormones.