1-11. The numbers on the scale.
12. I didn’t know what to make for dinner.
13. I ate too much Chipotle.
14. The mere thought “dieting” or “not ordering guacamole.”
15. I didn’t want summer vacation to end.
16. But I don’t want to stay home forever.
17. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
18. I’m having another baby. (happy)
19. I’m having another baby. (sad)
20. I’m having another baby. (scared)
21-23. I couldn’t sleep.
24. It was way too hot outside, and I was maxed out on rock counting and boob sweat.
25. I felt like a shitty mom.
26. I felt like an undeserving wife.
27. My daughter’s diaper had peas in it.
28. Thigh rub is real, and it hurts.
29. My baby is getting so big.
30. I can’t believe how much her life is about to change. (guilty)
31. I can’t believe how much her life is about to change. (excited)
32. I can’t believe how much my life is about to change.
33. There was a huge spider between me and my laundry room.
34. I read Stephanie’s post from last week and couldn’t handle how how fast this life is whizzing by.
35. I watched this documentary about a Buddhist monk who started a school for children in need and thought about how thankful I am to be alive and able to care for my kids.
36. I was getting on the highway, and the person in the right lane refused to let me in.
37. I felt completely exhausted from doing nothing but sitting in boring meetings all day.
38. None of the maternity clothes I ordered looked good.
39. My daughter woke up in the middle of the night, and I was reminded of how much I hate being up at that hour and how often I’ll be doing that again very soon.
40. The supremely bittersweet double-edged sword of being the only person who can comfort my sweet, screeching toddler in the middle of the night.
41. I love my kid so freaking much.
42. It’s hard to imagine loving the kid in my incubator that much.