Dear Beautiful Daughter of Mine,

I hope you will always know how much you are loved. I know sometimes I can be angry, preoccupied, or inconsistent with my directions, praise, and expectations. Please understand that I am doing my best and even though I may have a bad day I am always filled to the brim with love for you. There is nothing you could do to erase my love for you. If I don’t tell or show you enough please let me know what you need.

I wish I could give you all of the things you’ve ever asked for. I absolutely hate saying “no” to you. Please understand that we are working very hard to make as much money as we can to support you and make you happy. Please also understand that we have no idea how we will pay for college tuition or other expenses the future may bring. We are a bit anxious when it comes to money and, most times, I need to say no.

I hope you love yourself. You are each so special and unique. Other people may say things that will hurt you and make you question your worth. You will see images everywhere that may make you wonder if you are pretty enough, thin enough, or special enough. You will be tempted to do things that will not be good for you. You may try to hurt yourself with bad decisions and choices. I hope your love for yourself will carry you through those attacks and I hope you always know how amazing you are, just by being you. I hope I can find the right ways to make sure you never stop fighting for you.

I wish I could watch out for you always. I wish I could go to school with you and help you navigate your social world. I wish I could stop that mean girl or boy in their tracks so they can’t get to you and hurt you. I wish I could ride the bus with you on every field trip to be sure you stay safe. I wish I could be in every car with you making sure the driver is not taking unnecessary risks. I wish I could move away with you so you are never truly “on your own”. I wish I could fight every battle for you or at least be by your side. Instead I’m going to keep trying to make you strong, brave, and capable of living a beautiful life.

I hope you find a passion. I want you to explore all of your interests and find one that fills you with energy and joy. I want you to turn that passion into your life’s work. If you need to go to college to reach your goals, I will help you. If you need transportation to a perfect job that will help you climb your ladder to success, I’ll find a way to get you there. I will help you study for tests, practice your talent, and develop whatever ideas you may have. I’m going to push you when you want to give up and I’m going to shower you with praise with every success.

I wish I never made mistakes with you. I wish I could be a perfect parent but unfortunately I am not a perfect person. I wish I knew the right thing to say to you at all times but sometimes I fall short and I know and I feel awful. I lay awake some nights replaying our days in my head and some nights I cringe at how I may have reacted to something you said or did or how I had forgotten to do something for you that I had promised. I stare at my ceiling and I feel so sad and so terribly disappointed. I wish I didn’t make those mistakes but I know you understand that we all make mistakes. You need to make them to grow and I will let you make yours as long as you let me make mine.

I hope you find someone to share your adult life with who is just as special and beautiful as you. I hope your choice is kind and good. I hope this person respects you and treats you as if you are precious. You deserve nothing less and I hope you will always know that.

I wish you could stay with me always. I want our home to be filled with the sound of your voice forever. I know you need to fly, however, and I know I need to keep strengthening your wings. Please visit me often so I can see your beautiful face and hear your sweet voice. I will miss you so very much.

I hope you always find a reason to smile. You are always my reason. Love, Mom

me and girls

Photo credit S. Orris