Between busy days filled with school and bustling activity, most of the snuggles with my daughter are in the evening now. This makes sense, though, as it reminds me of the long hours we used to spend nursing to sleep and throughout the night. Snuggling in my daughter’s room just feels right.
At four years old I still snuggle her to sleep, and feel no shame in it. I can be easy to forget how small she still is, after all, between all of the activity and growth and – yes – attitude. But at four years old she’s just a child who still believes that a kiss from mom heals bumps and bruises and snuggles and lullabies are the best way to fall asleep.
I’ll keep holding her for as long as she wants, because the day will come all too soon when she no longer needs me there to quietly drift off to sleep. Until then, I’ll use these moments as an opportunity to cement them in my memory; the way she turns into me and touches her forehead to mine. How she cocoons herself with the soft sheet and drags my arm tightly around her, and how I hold her until I feel her breathing even out on my cheek. She doesn’t know that I stay with her, wrapped up like that, for longer than I have to, trying to wring out one more moment of peacefulness from our hectic days.
These are the moments that will make the memories I will hold close and cherish forever. Though as she grows older she may need me to show her in different ways, I hope she never stops turning to me for comfort and warmth. And love. Always love.