As an avid reader and lover of books, I am often found with my son at the library or bookstore one to two times a week. Sometimes it is for borrowing or purchasing and sometimes just browsing. As I was browsing the discount aisle at my favorite bookstore I noticed a ton of planners and calendars being that the New Year had just started. They had a planner for everyone and everything! (Clever marketing indeed!). The one that I was most upset about by is pictured here. It showed a cute mom and her adorable cartoon daughter on the cover and says Do It All Mom Planner. I laughed and picked it up. I saw that they gave you stickers, To-Do lists, tear off shopping lists and other additional features.
As a divorced working mom of one, I ALWAYS feel like a Do It All Mom planner. I am consistently juggling basketball, homework review, trumpet practice, lunch making, dinner preparation, weekend activities, laundry, entertainment and in addition work full time. Who was this Supermama? Surely I do not need a planner in order to be a good mom or did I? Being a good mom certainly does not mean you need to “Do It All” or do we?
The thing is, you are enough. We are enough! Our days are filled with schedules, plans, playdates, agendas not to mention the whole other amount of hats we wear as spouses, partners, sisters, daughters, career woman or otherwise. Now I need planner pressure? We mess up. We forget to wash the uniform or correct the homework from time to time. We forget to give our child lunch money or make sure all the laundry is done so they have school clothes ready to wear the next day. We are human. We are the real Supermamas! We need not a special planner, stickers or tear off lists. We put on band aids and patch up problems as they come! We are spontaneous in how we care for our children and sometimes make it up as we go! Kudos to us! We simple cannot “Do It All“. Cause in the end, what kind of parent will we be? What kind of motherly being are we leaving to our children at the end of the day after the to-do lists, schedules, lists and agendas are all complete? How can we care for our children if we run ourselves ragged? I am exhausted just thinking about it. I am not saying we should not be goal oriented or chase our dreams. One of the most important things I believe we can leave our children is a positive example of hard work and dedication. But I feel we cannot plan everything. When it comes to our children I feel we must slow down so we are able to listen, play, experience and feel.
This myth of being Supermama or the “Do It All Mom is a common stereotype, and one I choose not to subscribe to. I do not compete with my fellow moms, but embrace them in all the failures and adversities they might experience! I only compete with my own values, morals and guidelines for my own family. Everyone should be applauded for their parenting efforts big or small. Everyone should feel like they make a difference in their child’s and family’s lives whether they can “Do It All” or not, whatever that really means. My feeling is that your contribution to motherhood is not about setting the bar as high as you can. It is about setting the bar at a level you can realistically create balance in your life.
I quickly put the planner down. I feel many of us do not need the Do It All Mom Planner and it struck me that others might feel the same and why it might have been on the discount shelf to begin with.