Here I am entering into my 10th year of motherhood. Isn’t it funny, it always still seems new to me!
Last year I did not know what it was like to have a 9-year-old. The year prior an 8-year-old and now this year I will learn so much mothering a 10-year-old. I am still a new mom having lots of “firsts”. I never fully feel experienced in what I am doing and I guess that is ok. I am a champ at multitasking, creating fun and organization and giving love and a safe home for my child. Other than that, I am still learning. Observing. Looking for tips and advice on how to best raise my child within my values.
I know I instilled values, morals and faith, but the concrete stuff of what our kids experience as they grow up is always new. I am going through it right by him, side by side. I cringe at the idea of me having “the talk” with my child. How will it go? What will I say? Can I be objective? When he first gets into trouble with friends or a girlfriend. Will I know how to comfort him best and how to relieve his pain? I hope so. I might not. I can only hope I have given him the tools needed to sort these types of things out on his own. I hope that he is able to make good judgement calls and appropriate choices in life. I guess I still have that little scared mom feeling every now and then. You know. The one you felt when you were taking your baby home from the hospital asking yourself “Will I do a good job?” and a few “what if’s” the entire ride home.
There is nothing more satisfying than being able to be in his life and watch him mature and grow up. But, I realize it is happening pretty fast. I am still waiting for the day I grab his hand when we are walking to a store and he pulls away or when he does not feel that cuddling on the couch is acceptable anymore. I am so lucky he still does both!
I continue to explore new things with him and encourage him to try new things. I want this 10-year-old to have skills, resources and an everlasting yearning to learn and reach his goals. He might not know it now, but it is why we go to the library once a week. It is why I encouraged him to try snowboarding and get him lessons. It is why I encouraged him to play an instrument and ACTUALLY practice several times a week. It is why he has an allowance and has to do the work to actually earn it. I am grooming him for life, little does he know. I can only hope all my efforts come back fruitful. I still hope that I am “doing it right”. I still sometimes feel like a new mother, just with 10 years under my belt.