My daughter has Autism and other major challenges that are un-diagnosed. Dealing with this makes me classically overworked and underpaid. I am my child’s psychotherapist, nurse, physical, speech and occupational therapist, pediatrician and psychic (she’s non verbal). I’m also a single mom, entrepreneur, amateur happiness researcher (how else could I constantly push through the madness that is my reality!?), yoga enthusiast, practicing red wine connoisseur, and advocate for all things good and right in my life and this world. I have a lot on my plate. Yet I wouldn’t change any of it.
It has become my life’s mission to practice fearlessness because living fiercely is hard. Being someone trying to make it through life is challenging, and doing so with the responsibility of another life can be downright depressing.
Like most, I’ve successfully failed at life in many ways. All of which has lead to amazing feats. What I’ve found is this is the best space to evolve as a person. You find that you can… Grow. I’ve learnt to take what didn’t work, label it and at least tried to determine the lesson to be learnt (sometimes being unsure of the big picture, but knowing some day it would present itself). As difficult as it has been, more often than not, it has allowed me to be a better judge and be better prepared for the next season in my life. It also gave me the courage to live intentionally. This sounds like an amazing space to be in and it truly is. But it didn’t happen overnight, it requires practice, daily practice to stay on track.
The journey of the self through the self. I’ve overcame migraines, heartbreaks and many other adversities while practicing yoga. I recently fell in love with aerial yoga which is teaching me a powerful lesson on learning when to hold on and when to let go. Practicing yoga teaches me life changing experiences that naturally leaks into other areas of my life. It’s overwhelmingly powerful.
I visit my therapist usually twice per month. She helps me make sense of the mundane, day to day occurrences in my life, we try to unravel and unlearn the mental slavery I’ve been exposed to and have installed in my life growing up. Sometimes she helps me understand when I’m being way too dramatic and over complicated. Each of us needs an unbiased being in our world to tell us like it is. I have that with her.
These are my two balancing acts that allow me to hit the reset button, often. They allow me to be the best mom to my very special needs child, kick ass boss, running my own businesses and lover of my own self first, then everything and everyone else.
The point here is this, it’s ok to not be OK. It’s ok to hurt, but it’s also OK to do what’s best for you. Feel the pain, feel the fear, and push through it anyway.