This week/past weekend/past few months have been stressful, tiring, and life circuit draining. My two boys have been showing more and more signs of asthma. They’re on the nebulizer with breathing treatments, medications and what seems like a continuous dose of amoxicillin.
Eli just wasn’t his loud playful self on Sunday morning (Father’s Day) and by 11am his face was turning purple and we were headed to the ER. His oxygen levels were low and couldn’t stay at 92 without help from a flow of oxygen. This little boy with such a big personality laid there helplessly as his cough just overtook the rattling of his little chest. We settled in for our first overnight visit to the ER and week of maintaining wellness through the ups and downs.
Asthma is a very ‘new’ journey for me as a mom. I was expecting challenges and experiences that would be talked about at every dinner party. Like when I was a child with an immediate life affecting reaction to eggs. This provided my parents with the dinner story of the ER staff ripping my body from my mom’s arms and rushing me in to give my limp-less body Benadryl. This was a life-giving medicine that allowed the ending of hives on the inside of my throat, as well as outside of my mouth. After that experience, I was fine and really never had an issue again. Actually since my two boys have been born… I’ve been preparing my heart for a day to be played out exactly like that day. Then asthma comes into the picture and I’m lost cause there isn’t a quick fix to their breathless reactions. This is a LONG journey of questioning your mom reactions… are you wheezing in your lungs or is this just in your nose? ‘Let me look at your chest!’ ‘No running you’ll start to have a coughing fit.’ Should we go to the ER? Dealing with the Jekyll and Hyde reactions to simple life tasks because Prednisone is still in their system.
I know many parents are dealing with much more difficult illnesses and diseases with their children. This one presently is affecting my whole being as a mom. I think because I don’t see an end in sight. This could go on forever with them, and then again it may not. I take on a lot of guilt for working and not being there to hold his hand 24/7 as he’s struggling for breath, waking up with coughing fits, and regularly needing medication and breathing treatments. I’m thankful for my team behind the scenes caring for him while I work. But I do have to say if this journey is going to get worse we will have to reevaluate and come up with a new team plan. I’m realizing Asthma is a continuous changing and life altering factor for all of our family members.
This is a journey; especially this week has been challenging and stressful. I do believe we will overcome and live life taking deep breaths!