How often do you wash your sheets? Do you limit screen time? How often do you sign back into work after the kids go to bed? These are just a few of the questions you might want to ask other moms. At CTWM, we had a feeling that no matter where you fall on the spectrum of answers to these types of questions, you are not alone. So about a month ago we put out a survey with 55 questions for our readers to answer and offered up entries into a drawing for a $250 prize pack as an incentive for your time. Almost 300 people completed the survey and now it’s time to present the answers. We’ll break it down into two posts. This is the first: Home, Work and Parenting. Next up will be Relationships and Self Care.
The majority of the 300 that answered were 30-39 years old (almost 70%). An additional 20% were 40-44 years old. Most live in CT (81%). Approximately 7% of respondents are self-employed and another 7% are currently stay at home parents. 90% of those surveyed are parenting with a spouse. 6% share custody and 3% have sole custody. 1% are parenting with another family member like a grandparent.
The majority of you cook every night (42%) or a few times a week (39%). 9% of you have spouses who do all the cooking. The remaining 10% either cook once a week, every other week or once a month. When you’re not slaving over a home cooked meal, 40% get takeout once a week with another 32% ordering out a few times a week. 12% treat themselves every other week.
Most of you have no regular cleaning schedule (39%) and 14% rate themselves as constantly cleaning. Another 22% hire outside help and 15% of you clean once a week. 6% clean every two weeks and a lucky 2% have a spouse who handles all of the cleaning.
33% percent of your homes are vacuumed once a week, while 27% save this for every other week. About equal are the number of people who vacuum several times a week (12%) and those whose houses are vacuumed hardly ever (13%) or once a month (11%). 3% of you must have gigantic hairy dogs because you’re vacuuming every day!
When it comes to washing floors, you’re not as diligent. 30% wash the floors once every two weeks, 21% once a month, 20% hardly ever, 14% every few months, 12% once a week and 3% several times a week.
For sheets, 32% wash them once a month, 39% once every two weeks, 15% once a week, 9% once every few months and 5% just aren’t sure how often they wash their sheets.
For towels, 53% wash them once a week, 20% once every two weeks, 18% several times a week, and it was 5% each for once a month and not sure how often.
For those working outside of the home, 21% were able to take 9-12 weeks of maternity leave. 14% did not return to work after having a child. 10% each took 6-9 weeks, 12-16 weeks and 16 weeks to 6 months of leave from work. 7% had no paid leave and 6% took less than 6 weeks of leave. Only 2% of you took longer than 6 months.
Most surveyed (53%) work full time at 40-50 hours per week while 23% work 20-39 hours a week and 8% are employed part time at less than 20 hours per week. Fifty plus hour workweeks are normal for 8% of you.
With the rise of flexible workplaces, many find themselves working odd hours. This is the case for 14% that sign back into work each night. 24% do this several times a week while 35% sign back once in a while. 21% never sign in after hours.
A small number of you (4%) work from home all the time while 37% are able to work from home some of the time. For 45% working from home is not an option.
62% felt that their employers are supportive of working parents, while 23% indicated that their employer is not supportive to working parents.
We asked you how you’re doing juggling parenthood and your career:
28% reported that they are barely juggling the stresses of parenthood and working outside of the home. 24% say that they are doing okay but wish they had more to give to their jobs. 37% feel confident with their performance at work and 5% even said you’re hitting it out of the park.
The majority of you have two kids (53%). The next most popular was one child at 28%. 13% have three kids, 4% have four kids and 2% have five or more kids.
77% agree with their spouse on the size of their family. In 11% of families, the surveyed parent wants more kids and in 5% of families their spouse wants more.
9% have a chore chart and rotate chores. 35% of families have each child take care of their own responsibilities but nothing beyond that. 10% of parents are doing everything for their children and 45% felt that their children were too young to help out with chores around the house.
We asked how many days a week you have kids’ activities:
1 day a week – 23%
2 days a week – 21%
3 days a week – 10%
4 days a week – 11%
5 days a week – 6%
6 days a week – 1%
Everyday – 3%
None – 25%
What time do your children go to bed?
6-7 p.m. – 6%
7-8 p.m. – 44%
8-9 p.m. – 37%
9-10 p.m. – 8%
After 10 p.m. – 5%
How many hours of sleep do your children get?
12 hours or more – 3%
11-12 hours – 26%
10-11 hours – 42%
8-10 hours – 25%
Less then 8 hours – 5%
When the kids wake up during the night, who takes care of them?
43% say it’s always them while only 2% say it’s always their spouse. 14% split this responsibility evenly. 34% report that both parents get up but it’s usually them, while 8% who share the responsibility say it’s usually their spouse.
When your child is sick, who usually stays home?
13% are stay at home parents. 31% say they are always the one to take off work while only 3% say it’s always their spouse who takes off. 6% have family members who care for their sick kids and 14% split this 50/50 with a spouse. 33% say that they split this responsibility with a spouse but that it’s usually one more than the other.
One of our bloggers wanted to know, do you ever want to run away from parenting?
15% said no, they love ever minute. 12% said all the time. And 73% said they’ve felt this way a few times, but for the most part enjoy parenting.
How often do your kids eat veggies? (This was one of the ones I was most curious about)
48% said everyday, 33% said a few times a week, 9% (me) said almost never, 7% said every meal and 4% said once a week.
How old was your child when they were potty trained? (nighttime doesn’t count!)
12-18 months – 4%
18-24 months – 15%
24 months – 2.5 years – 32%
2.5 – 3 years – 35%
3-4 years – 13%
4+ years – 2%
I was also very curious about screen time. (I realize we didn’t ask how old children are):
5% felt their kids are too young for screen time. 34% let their kids have a little a day. 28% have more than an hour a day. 13% have more than 2 hours a day. 15% don’t limit screen time and 6% only let their kids have screen time on the weekends.
Another blogger really wanted to know how much childcare help people get from extended family.
- None, we don’t ask and they don’t offer – 6%
- None, we ask and they decline – 2%
- None, we don’t have family close by – 20%
- When we’re in a pinch 16%
- Occasional babysitting – 42%
- Frequent babysitting – 14%
- Weekly babysitting/transportation – 13%
- Part time daycare – 8%
- Full time daycare – 5%
- Overnight sitting – 13%
- Weekend/Week away – 14%
We asked you to rate yourself as a parent on a scale of 1-10. Only 8% rated themselves as a 9 or 10. But look at the numbers when we asked how your spouse, or someone who really loves you would rate you as a parent. That number shot up to 34% rating themselves as a 9 or 10. And then we asked you to think about your child and how they would rate you as a parent and 52% said their children would rate them as a 9 or 10. The other 48% must have teenagers!
And then we wanted you to think about something positive and wonderful about your parenting and maybe something you’re proud of. You all had some really wonderful answers and here are just a few of them:
- I love opening my son’s eyes to natural wonders. I feel like I am helping to create a citizen of the world and a protector of those in need.
- The days are long but the moments are fleeting! That saying gets me through the more challenging parenting moments!
- I’m so proud that my children have learned from me what it means to have a loving, respectful relationship with someone. I make mistakes, but I say sorry. I respect their feelings/opinions/needs, while expecting them to respect mine. I talk them through the give and take of relationships and never hesitate to shower them with love and affection.
- With three children I try and spend individual time with each one doing something they enjoy/ choose. Hopefully this makes them feel special.
- My kids know I love them. I am proud of the people my children are. They bring me joy. Particularly when they are asleep.
- With my 10 year old, I’m struggling right now, a lot. But I am proud that he and I are able to talk honestly about how we push each other’s buttons!
- My 8 month old has extensive medical issues and I am really good at managing his care, juggling his doctor’s appointments and updating his providers.
- I love the moments among the chaos that make you realize you may actually be doing something right.
- My children know – really know – they are loved.
- Four kids under 4 and my husband and I are rocking it!!
- I’m most proud that I show him I’m human and make mistakes. When I’m having a bad day and am short with him, I apologize and talk to him about my mistake.
- When our youngest came out to us at 15, he told me that we have provided him with a nurturing place to call home/family.
- You didn’t ask the age of our kids – 19 and 17. That’s a wonderful thing about being a parent – getting to see who they’re becoming, helping to launch them into the world, encouraging them to be themselves and be independent, being able to say I love you to them every day.
- I do my best, I know I could do better but in the end we are happy and safe.
- I gave up a well-paid and fulfilling career to be a stay at home mom to my two girls. I have found it very tough and lonely at times but I have learned so many things about myself and it is the best feeling in the world to see them grow up into brilliant human beings!
- I love my little boy more than anything. I’m an EMT and he is supportive when I have to leave for work or a call in the night. I’m proud of how hard I work for him. He told me that I was his hero because I help people. Proudest mama!
- I am proud that even with my busy work and home schedule, I find time to sit and talk to my kids about their day, what is bothering them, helping with homework, etc. It is important to me that they know I am here to help them and that I will always make time for them.
- The smile on my sons face when he sees me in the stands at his games or practices. He knows I’m always there.
- I am a stay at home parent. I reach out to other moms and set up activities and play dates and volunteer at school…I am proud of creating my little network.
- I know, and love, and spend time with each of my kids as individuals. I want each of them to know that they are not just a member of the family collective, but also special to me for who they are.
- I’m getting better and better at letting go of the guilt.
- I truly feel like I am a positive influence in the life of my children.
If you’re struggling to find something positive about your parenting, or struggling to juggle work and home life, we hope that these results will help you to know you are not alone. Reach out to someone in your life to see how they’re doing and try to help them find the bright side of things and gratitude in the small victories. You can do this (and you already are!).
Check back tomorrow to read more results about relationships and self care and to find out the winner of our $250 prize pack.