Socialization at Recess: A thing of the past?

Apr 17, 2013 by bernhardsonbunch

I got a text from a fellow mom last week of an image she snapped in her son’s CT middle school. She captioned it “…in other words, no fun.” It was a picture of the “Recess Rules” posted near the playground exit in the school’s hallway. Here it is:

Perhaps simply posting a list of “Permitted Activities” would have saved ink…

Whatever happened to teaching kids how to interact? Do we really need to ban basketball?

As a teacher, I can understand how these rules came to be. Fifth and sixth graders are handfuls. Balls of energy. The social scene is rapidly becoming the epicenter of their little world. Friends, boy/girlfriends, cliques, parties, sports…these are huge pieces of their life. These interactions get messy as kids learn to navigate them. There’s almost inevitably going to be fighting, bickering, and the potential for bullying and violence if these things aren’t monitored by adults who can model how to function in a community. I can really see how a friendly game of flag football could quite easily turn into a tackling game with black eyes, or how a basketball game can end in thrown elbows and skinned knees…I really can. But is the solution to just eliminate it? To pretend these social needs don’t exist? Yikes.  Read more...

Should siblings be allowed to play-fight?

Apr 10, 2013 by bernhardsonbunch

The scene: 

I walk into the living room after hearing some screaming to find my 4 year old with his 2 year old brother in his lap, both on the floor. My older son’s arms and legs are totally wrapped around his brother, and he’s rocking him back and forth, side to side, shouting “TRAP! TRAP! TRAP! YOU’RE IN A TRAAAAP!” The 2 year old doesn’t look thrilled, but he’s not crying, and hasn’t said “no” or stop.” Do I break it up? Wait it out? Turn around and pretend I saw nothing?

My four year old actually yells “You can never make us separate!!!” True? Perhaps.   Read more...

Can we please discuss “Safety Toes” for a minute?

Apr 3, 2013 by bernhardsonbunch

The other day, I realized I’d been stuffing my nearly two-year-old’s feet into over-stretched 6-12 month infant socks. Oops. With two kids, tons of job applications, numerous volunteer “jobs”, and a new kitten…things get, ahem, overlooked. But I digress. While out shopping, I made amends by letting him pick out whichever socks he’d like to get. He pointed to a 4-pack, I tossed it in the cart, and we headed home. I barely gave them a second look. At home, I noticed this on the label:

Safety Toes?!

Huh?

Maybe it’s just me, but I was intrigued. Safety Toes? Socks…”created with my safety in mind?” I had no idea socks could somehow be made safer. Heck, I also couldn’t think of a way to make them more dangerous, either. I was instantly reminded of Lenore Skenazy and her calls for parents to basically chill the heck out on the “child-proof-everything-now!!!” and let kids be (see my previous post about how some have dubbed her “World’s Worst Mother” for this, but that’s a topic for another day!).  Read more...

High School Throwback: Sarah

Mar 27, 2013 by bernhardsonbunch

“Hey guys! Look how cool I am! I have acid wash shortalls freshman year! Guys? Guuuys?”

This is the story of a girl with a late fall birthday who spent the first 18 years of her life trying to catch up with her peers. She spent preschool and kindergarten thinking everyone at recess hated her because they wouldn’t stop chasing her (her teacher informed her that was, in fact, called “Tag”), elementary school avoiding sleepovers because she missed her parents too much at them, and middle school and junior high avoiding boys and school dances at all costs.

You might be thinking, “That poor girl! She must have felt so out of place and shy!”, but alas, she had NO CLUE WHATSOEVER that she’d totally missed the boat and was oblivious to the high school social scene. You see, for better or worse, Sarah never did a single thing that was edgy or devious in her entire high school career…not because she was such a goody-two-shoes, but because she somehow…just missed that part. She was too busy throwing herself into academics (where she was right on track), figure skating, volunteer work, chamber choir, and art.  Read more...

Helping an Anxious Child

Mar 20, 2013 by bernhardsonbunch

My older son has always been the cautious type. He’s never first to dive into a new situation, and he takes a while to warm up to new people. I’ve always just sort of chalked this up to “his way” and never pushed the issue, fearing I’d make him uncomfortable. In fact, I’ve been really careful to accommodate his personality as much as possible, making sure he has time to warm up to new people and only leaving him with family members when we went out.

Not even two and already flipping through “Consumer Reports”…maybe he’s checking into our car safety ratings?

While I can fully appreciate being a shy child, as I was one myself, I have often wondered at what point my accommodating his behavior is in some ways enabling it. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being socially cautious, but at the same time, he should know he’s okay with a trusted babysitter who isn’t a grandparent/aunt/uncle, and he will be fine if I’m the last parent at school pick up.  Read more...