Confession: I Don’t Love My Kids The Same

May 16, 2013 by Elise

Equal, sure.  But definitely not the same.  When I think of each of them, it summons feeling as distinct as each of their personalities.  My relationship with each is so different, as is my love.

First, there is my son.

R, 6 (and 3/4) years old  Read more...

It Takes a Village…of Moms

May 9, 2013 by Elise

My kids love the reaction they get from people when they randomly announce to strangers, “I have 3 moms!”.  Folks at the grocery store, the couple in the booth next to us at the restaurant…be warned, your reaction and response time is being tested!  I mean, 2 moms is soooo 2008.  3 moms and they are set for conversation starters and ’2 truths and a lie’ material for life.

As Mother’s Day approaches, I can’t help but think of how blessed my children are to have all these mothers around them to learn from and celebrate.

From their biological mother they have gotten their intelligence and beauty.  As much as I like to joke that I’ve ‘loved them cute’, they came to us like that…stunning, with her beautiful almond eyes, perfect nose, and wide smile.   And dang those kids are smart.  Considering the fact that they outsmart me on the regular, I can’t take any credit for that.  Read more...

The Thing No One Warns You About Before Having Children

May 2, 2013 by Elise

There is a serious downside to having kids that NO ONE talks about.

No, I don’t mean the $$ that magically grows wings and flies out of your pocket, or the new-found need to drink…daily.  Or even the lack of, ahem.

What I am talking about is the silent yet suffocating and ever-multiplying BEAST that lurks in every corner of your home.

What I am talking about is the f-ing laundry!

It eats children. This is serious.

The more children you have, the worse the problem gets.  I was entirely unprepared for how unruly the beast would get when we said ok our third child.

If you are currently considering adding a 3rd…DON’T DO IT.

Laundry has taken over our lives.

The worst part is the way it steals my joy (the way the dryer steals my socks).  Take for example the beautiful weekend we recently enjoyed.  And by ‘we’ I don’t mean me…  Read more...

How to Deliver Tough News to Kids

Apr 25, 2013 by Elise

[image credit]

I hate to say that I’ve had enough experience giving my son bad news to have gotten “good” at it, but you know what they say about practice making perfect…

Unfortunately, between the roller coaster that is foster care, adoption, and just everyday life, I’ve had to have quite a few difficult conversations with my oldest over the years.  There were the many times visit with his biological mom were cancelled, the death of a beloved Nana, the termination of his bio mom’s rights and question of whether or not we’d see her again, death of pets, birth of his youngest sibling (who would not come to live with us), Sandy Hook, and, well, the list goes on.

As much as we wish to keep our children in their innocent bubbles forever,  life happens and at one point or another, we will be forced to share difficult news with our kids.  It is never easy, but I’ve gathered some tricks over the years that help the conversations go as smoothly as possible.  Read more...

What I Can Do

Apr 18, 2013 by Elise

In this time of vulnerability and uncertainty, it is so easy for my mind to slip into a place of constant fear.  A place of feeling overwhelmed by how little control I have over this world, over my safety – or worse -over my children’s safety.

Helplessness is a terrifying feeling.

To keep myself from slipping too far down that hole, I like to remind myself of what I can do.

I can make sure that my home is a haven.  I can make it a place where my children will not see, hear, touch, or feel violence.  Even when it is ever-present in their lives outside of these walls, it will not be found here.

And then, I can take that peace with me into the world.  I can be peaceful with my words and interactions.  Forget beeping my horn and speeding around the car that waited too long to change lanes.  Forget the office gossip.  Read more...