Fairy Tale Love

Oct 16, 2014 by

I feel like we put so much attention and fascination into fairy tale stories of love. I want little girls and boys to grow up believing in love, in fairy tales, in happily ever after – but I want them to believe in themselves first. Most importantly, I want them to be able to be ALONE and embrace the time with themselves before pushing into a relationship.



There are some people who believe that less than 25% of marriages are actually happy. Some researchers and authors believe the number is 17% or lower.

Well, that’s just depressing. I’m not sure I truly believe that, but I’m curious why it could even be perceived to be that low. Is it our expectations of fairy tale romances? Is it our inability to change with our partners? Is it other factors that include human beings making mistakes, losing faith, breaking trust? Is it our lack of communication? Is it a lack of balance and respect? Is it a lack of time and attention? Sometimes, I really wonder if sometimes it’s our desire to be “in a relationship” rather than be alone?

Sick Kid Scramble

Oct 9, 2014 by

We have been very lucky in our few years as mommies to avoid a problem that many working parents face constantly – no school days for kids aka “the sick kid scramble.” My wife and I have opposite schedules. I work somewhat regular weekday hours and she works nights and weekends. It’s not exactly easy to miss out on the full family time, but we have been able to do something for our kids: one of us can always be around for them.

Two weeks ago, my wife changed her schedule from nights to days, now that our youngest is in school full-time. When she switched, we considered the situations when a kid was sick and who’d stay home. We didn’t really take the conversation too seriously. I’m pretty sure we said something like “what are the odds we’d have too many sick days? Between the 2 boys, we’ve had maybe 3 sick days total in 4 years.”

The Kindergarten Decision: We sent him

Oct 2, 2014 by

I sent my 4 year old to full-day kindergarten and I don’t regret it.

Okay, so he’s really 4 and three-quarters, but he’s still only 4. In Connecticut (for now), the cut-off date for school is December 31st. My youngest, Dylan, turns 5 years old the last week of November.  There are many parents here who have kids with autumn birthdays and who go through the debate about sending their child to kindergarten too early. Vivian’s post mirrored a lot of what we thought about in sending our 4 year old into full-day kindergarten.
We chatted with friends about the options. We received a lot of comments about how hard it may be for a kid to go through school being 6-12 months younger than most of his/her colleagues. And really, EVERYONE has an opinion on whether or not you should send your kid to kindergarten.

What we heard was:

Boy Parts

Sep 25, 2014 by

I remember when we found out our first kid was a boy. Some well-intentioned friends and family asked if we were going to know what to do with boys. What? Like two lesbians wouldn’t know boy stuff?

I was fairly certain I’d be able to handle the stereotypical boy stuff like playing with bugs, getting muddy, climbing on ridiculous things and venturing into daredevil acts – I did all those things. I would be more worried about having a kid that wanted to play with princesses and loved all things pink.

We thought we were prepared for raising boys. Really, what’s so super secret and hard to figure out about boys? My wife and I both have dads and brothers. We both had relationships with men (gulp, yes we did). Men aren’t that complicated.

Neither of us thought raising boys would have any big surprises we couldn’t handle.

Turning it off

Sep 18, 2014 by

I find that one of the hardest things to do is to “turn it off” when walking in the front door. And by “turn it off,” I mean “get into loving mommy mode after a frustrating angst-ridden day at work.” Of course, ideally, we (meaning me) would be much better at not letting work getting to a place of angst in our head. But sometimes, it’s not that simple.

I commuted to my job for over 8 years. The commute ranged from 25 minutes to 60+ minutes depending on the job (both are above the norm in CT)

But that commute was my decompress time. I had books on tape, I had satellite radio, I turned the phone off and left work behind me. It didn’t stop or eliminate the stress of the to-do list that grew daily, but it gave me the opportunity to walk in the front door to my family without the pent up angst of the work day.

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