Raining on my ice bucket

Aug 28, 2014 by

When we try to improve on something, there will be people who think it’s not improved enough and people who liked it the old way. There’s no fault in that. But I’m feeling the need to speak to something that has been clawing at me: our unabashed, unapologetic need to point out the wrong in everything.  And, what are we sharing with and teaching our children in the process?

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Made with quozio.com

I participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge and was excited about the attention and funding that flowed from the silliness for ALS. My mother’s best friend died of the disease and it’s a disease that there’s no cure for, is often misunderstood and gets very little press or media attention. I thought the idea was brilliant! It hit people right where their attention span is on social media and it accomplished its goal tenfold. It brought people together, made people reach out to old friends, gave us a sense of togetherness for a good cause, etc. Then, I started seeing backlash articles, comments on social media all poo-pooing the challenge. The tone was “you guys think you’re doing something good but you’re doing it all wrong.” I couldn’t fathom how raising $80 mil in 3 weeks for a devastating disease could be faced with such criticism.

Is it really time for school?

Aug 21, 2014 by

I have to be honest, I feel a little blah and indifferent about the impending start of school for the kids. I feel like I should be rejoicing about back-to-school time just like all the other moms who are just burned out from a summer’s worth of attempting-to-entertain-the-restless-masses time.

But it went by too fast. I’m not really rejoicing that summer is over. Maybe I’m in denial about back-to-school time. I feel a little like summer never happened. We didn’t go on vacation, I didn’t really spend much time by the pool and I didn’t really feel the anxiety about having to entertain the boys while school was out for summer.

But I see that my wife (who has been home with them during the daytime all summer) is quite happy to do the back-to-school dance every waking minute between now and 8 am Monday morning when BOTH of our boys get on the big yellow bus.

Moms Need Friends

Aug 14, 2014 by

“When was the last time you grabbed a cup of coffee with a friend? When did you last make a new friend? Chances are, that if you are a mother, the answer is ‘a long time ago.’ Research shows that women with children spend an average of five hours per week with friends, whereas before having children women spend an average of fourteen hours with friends. This would not be an issue if friendships were not so vital to our health and happiness.” Rifka Schonfeld (June 20, 2013), Why Friends Matter

My wife and I have a lot of wonderful friends in our lives. Unfortunately our crazy schedules and work-life balance attempts don’t always allow us much time with our friends. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I can’t always make time for everyone and that some friends I may be able to see more than others based on where we are in our lives with kids, location, schedule, etc. while I may miss out on seeing others for the same reason.

Family Reading

Aug 7, 2014 by

I used to love to read.

Long before I was a Mommy, I actually read a lot. It’s not easy. I work 50+ hours per week most weeks, am single mom many nights and I’m just in a place where I read all day long and my brain and eyes are tired when I get home and we’re unwinding. So, I find mindless stuff to focus on.

I grew up in a house with people who loved to read and we had books EVERYWHERE. There were bookshelves in almost every room. When it was a rainy day, you read. When you wanted to just relax for a little while, you picked up a book. As you were settling into bed for the night, you lied down with a book. When you were traveling to visit relatives, you brought a few books for the plane ride.

sometimes we crack: when working moms max out

Jul 24, 2014 by

 

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All moms, especially working moms, have this habit of building and piling on our “to do” lists with great fervor and then trying to achieve the ever-expanding list with perfection every day. If we don’t complete every task, we feel unaccomplished or even (gulp) like failures. We seek to perform so much multi-tasking with such high expectations, sometimes we crack.

Yes, I said it….sometimes we crack.

Raise your hand: how many working moms do you know that seem on the edge of a nervous breakdown? Maybe that mom is you. There are countless articles about the depression and anxiety that seems chronic with trying to be a supermom. Like this one, this one, and this one. Yet, we still seem uncomfortable talking about it.

We need a break from the level we are trying to function at.

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