Owning My Story

Apr 9, 2015 by

I-am-not-what-has

 

I used to hear my mother say things like “own it” or “own up to it” when one of us would make a mistake or bad choice growing up. I say that to my 18 yr old stepdaughters from time to time now. My purpose is saying “you want to be an adult and be given the respect and responsibility you think you deserve at your age, you’ll gain the most respect by acknowledging your mistake, saying ‘I F*ed up’ or ‘this happened to me’, figuring out what you’ve learned from it, and move on.”

I’ve always known this is the much better response than ignoring it or pretending it didn’t happen, but let’s be honest, it’s far harder to say “I messed up” or “I suffered this awful thing” aloud than it is to just kick some dirt over it and hope it doesn’t come back to haunt you. Therefore, maybe I haven’t always been fantastic about practicing what I preach.

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Family Mantras: Connection

Mar 26, 2015 by

What is the most important thing you want to help provide for your children as you are raising them?

Think about not what you want them to be, but ONE SINGLE THING you can provide for them every day that can foster their growth and development (other than food, clothing, shelter and education).

I see 100s of posts, articles and blogs about raising awesome kids and I feel like I ignore most of them. I don’t usually go searching for some advice on how to raise my children. I have been listening to a bunch of books-on-tape/audiobooks in the car during my commute and have occasionally listened to some quasi-parenting books that fit my mindset – not necessarily books that tell you how to parent but more books about what you want for your life and your family’s future. Much of what I’ve been listening to have resonated deeply for me and I will post about other things as they formulate in my head. But for me, I’ve been thinking about one simple question.

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10 Things I’ve Learned about Love/Relationships

Mar 12, 2015 by

Next week, we will be celebrating our 15 year anniversary.

15 years. Wow.

That may not seem like long for some people but to 2 people who are somewhat phobic of commitment, I think it’s quite a feat. 15 years ago, I wasn’t someone who wanted a relationship. I didn’t feel any need to be in a relationship. I liked my personal space and had my own objectives, plans and things that I just didn’t want to have to share with anyone. Then, Lois came into my life. Totally not planned. I was getting ready to head off to law school and had no intention of letting one little relationship interrupt my plans.

As we’ve had some major life events occur, we’ve been very aware of our ups and downs and don’t take anything for granted, especially when it seems like so many of our friends/family have gone through break-ups and divorces during that time.

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Kindergartener in Love

Feb 26, 2015 by

My 5 year old came home from school this week and announced to the family that he has a “girlfriend.”

I’m not sure what this relationship means to a 5 year old boy, but hopefully it means nothing close to what a 17 year old boy wants it to mean.

Dylan has been very enamored with a little girl in his class and they have had one playdate so far at our house and she came to his birthday party. When they exchanged valentines cards, they made special ones for each other with extra presents. So, he apparently spent some time thinking about it and finally asked her to be his girlfriend this week. She immediately responded that she wanted to ask him to be her boyfriend too. Kismet.

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The Big Turn Off

Feb 12, 2015 by

What is #TheBigTurnOff? Is it some media campaign to protest 50 Shades of Grey? What jumps into your mind with the words “turn off?” Is it a negative reaction? Is it peaceful or is it repulsive?

#TheBigTurnOff is, quite simply, the act of:

(1) turning off your phone; and

(2) focusing that attention on your partner

Wow. I know that’s not something we need to be told. We know this… but Valentine’s Day is just the most obvious day to be reminding to do this (or to start doing every day). Heck, maybe even stretch it to your entire family, kids included. I can’t take credit for this idea by myself. I started blogging about something else this week when I saw the hashtag #TheBigTurnOff flooding my Twitter feed. I was curious and was instantly rewarded. Headspace started this campaign and I think it’s fantastic. It’s something so clear and obvious but sometimes maybe we need a little push, or a full-force shove. If you’re on Twitter, please check out: @Get_Headspace #TheBigTurnOff

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