Dropping the ESQ

Nov 13, 2014 by

I’ve announced it on facebook, so it’s out there in the world, I’m switching jobs. I’m leaving a flexible in-house counsel job to go to one of the most recognized Ivy League institution in the world. It’s a big change on many levels. For starters, it puts us in a more difficult situation financially and creates challenges for us child care wise (for now). It will alter my commute from 6 minutes to 50 minutes each way. It puts some stress on us to move at some point in the not-too-distant future, which is something we cannot even contemplate right now.

And yet when I’ve been telling my co-workers and business people over the last two weeks, every single person says, “Wow! Great for you! I totally know why you’re leaving our company and going to X!”

What’s missing from work-life balance conversations?

Oct 30, 2014 by

I have a few books on my shelves written by moms dishing advice about juggling a successful career and a family. They are written by highly successful and wealthy women. I used to attend some “women’s conferences” sponsored by work or professional firms that had “work-life balance” discussions for working moms.

Some of the events would be centered around a fashion theme, risotto, cheese and wine were all served. Women would talk about their struggles to maintain a work-life balance, how they were able to juggle childcare and a rigorous work schedule. Ideas were tossed out about how to mentor young mothers (lawyers) who were trying to find the right balance. The ideas and theories were great and the concepts were worthwhile. But I always left those events feeling frustrated.

Reclaiming Weeknights TOGETHER

Oct 23, 2014 by

These moments are not lost on me, I am grateful for what we have. Maybe it took the last three years of job schedules and juggling acts for me to really appreciate it all.

Last night, Lo held out some new package of Oreos she bought and said “these are just awful.”

I looked at them and said aloud, “Ugh, why on Earth would you even think that they sounded worth buying? They sound disgusting” as I refused to even try one to feel her pain.

Then, we had a little “family game night” chaos in the boys’ bedroom (all 5 of us). After that, my wife and I put the kids to bed TOGETHER, watched a little World Series TOGETHER then had a friendly argument about whether or not Linda Lavin and Valerie Harper had even been in a sitcom together. (Linda Lavin did make an appearance in Rhoda, but despite Lois’ claims, I don’t think that was what she was thinking)

Fairy Tale Love

Oct 16, 2014 by

I feel like we put so much attention and fascination into fairy tale stories of love. I want little girls and boys to grow up believing in love, in fairy tales, in happily ever after – but I want them to believe in themselves first. Most importantly, I want them to be able to be ALONE and embrace the time with themselves before pushing into a relationship.



There are some people who believe that less than 25% of marriages are actually happy. Some researchers and authors believe the number is 17% or lower.

Well, that’s just depressing. I’m not sure I truly believe that, but I’m curious why it could even be perceived to be that low. Is it our expectations of fairy tale romances? Is it our inability to change with our partners? Is it other factors that include human beings making mistakes, losing faith, breaking trust? Is it our lack of communication? Is it a lack of balance and respect? Is it a lack of time and attention? Sometimes, I really wonder if sometimes it’s our desire to be “in a relationship” rather than be alone?

Sick Kid Scramble

Oct 9, 2014 by

We have been very lucky in our few years as mommies to avoid a problem that many working parents face constantly – no school days for kids aka “the sick kid scramble.” My wife and I have opposite schedules. I work somewhat regular weekday hours and she works nights and weekends. It’s not exactly easy to miss out on the full family time, but we have been able to do something for our kids: one of us can always be around for them.

Two weeks ago, my wife changed her schedule from nights to days, now that our youngest is in school full-time. When she switched, we considered the situations when a kid was sick and who’d stay home. We didn’t really take the conversation too seriously. I’m pretty sure we said something like “what are the odds we’d have too many sick days? Between the 2 boys, we’ve had maybe 3 sick days total in 4 years.”

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