Moms Need Friends

Aug 14, 2014 by

“When was the last time you grabbed a cup of coffee with a friend? When did you last make a new friend? Chances are, that if you are a mother, the answer is ‘a long time ago.’ Research shows that women with children spend an average of five hours per week with friends, whereas before having children women spend an average of fourteen hours with friends. This would not be an issue if friendships were not so vital to our health and happiness.” Rifka Schonfeld (June 20, 2013), Why Friends Matter

My wife and I have a lot of wonderful friends in our lives. Unfortunately our crazy schedules and work-life balance attempts don’t always allow us much time with our friends. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I can’t always make time for everyone and that some friends I may be able to see more than others based on where we are in our lives with kids, location, schedule, etc. while I may miss out on seeing others for the same reason.

Family Reading

Aug 7, 2014 by

I used to love to read.

Long before I was a Mommy, I actually read a lot. It’s not easy. I work 50+ hours per week most weeks, am single mom many nights and I’m just in a place where I read all day long and my brain and eyes are tired when I get home and we’re unwinding. So, I find mindless stuff to focus on.

I grew up in a house with people who loved to read and we had books EVERYWHERE. There were bookshelves in almost every room. When it was a rainy day, you read. When you wanted to just relax for a little while, you picked up a book. As you were settling into bed for the night, you lied down with a book. When you were traveling to visit relatives, you brought a few books for the plane ride.

sometimes we crack: when working moms max out

Jul 24, 2014 by

 

WORKING-MOMS-Were-living

Made by Quozio

 

All moms, especially working moms, have this habit of building and piling on our “to do” lists with great fervor and then trying to achieve the ever-expanding list with perfection every day. If we don’t complete every task, we feel unaccomplished or even (gulp) like failures. We seek to perform so much multi-tasking with such high expectations, sometimes we crack.

Yes, I said it….sometimes we crack.

Raise your hand: how many working moms do you know that seem on the edge of a nervous breakdown? Maybe that mom is you. There are countless articles about the depression and anxiety that seems chronic with trying to be a supermom. Like this one, this one, and this one. Yet, we still seem uncomfortable talking about it.

We need a break from the level we are trying to function at.

Trying for that little girl

Jul 17, 2014 by

Seriously, we are not.

We are most definitely not ever trying to have another kid. In fact, we are certainly never, ever, not ever in a million years going to have another baby (note: I didn’t say “kid”). Ever.

But people will still ask.

We have 2 boys and we are totally fulfilled. Our family is complete. We are so sure that we got rid of any donor sperm in storage. I had a medical procedure that solidifies my inability to have another child. My wife is 47 and was on bed rest for 8 weeks of her pregnancy with our oldest. There will be no more babies coming from us.

But people still ask.

And when they ask, they seem to think we’re being short-sighted. Or maybe they can still convince us. Maybe they think it’s not too late. “Don’t you now want that adorable little girl that you can dress in pink and have tea parties with?”

Kids and Hot Cars

Jul 10, 2014 by

Many years ago, I was watching a news report on a toddler who died when his mother forgot him in her car. I remarked aloud with disgust and pure criticism of this mom. “How could any parent just forget his or her child? That’s the most ridiculous and irresponsible thing I’ve ever heard.”

My friend (a mom of 3 girls) was watching with me and looked at me with a level stare. She said, “don’t judge, Holly, don’t judge this mom who may have done 1,000 things right and loved her child to the end of the earth but who had made the most terrible, awful mistake that she will never forgive herself for.”

I was a little stunned. I was surprised that another mom could defend a parent who – as I saw things at the time – had just murdered her child.

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