Author: Holly Robinson

Run it by the boss

As a mom of boys, I have lost count of how many times I’ve said “what were you THINKing?” or “did you THINK before you did that?” or “what did you THINK would happen if you did/said that?” I was trying to find a creative way to get them to STOP and THINK before speaking or acting, so I recently started asking my boys, “Did you run that by the boss?” meaning, the boss in your head that makes the decisions. Of course, my 10 year comes back with “the boss don’t care!“ So, I’ve been trying to figure out how to train/help 7 and 10-year-old boys to THINK. Then, I admitted to myself that I may have some shortcomings in this department as well. In my audiobook-filled commute in the past few days, I was half-focused on the book when what I was hearing settled into my brain, rattled around a little and resulted in an epiphany. This quote came up in Emotional Agility by Susan David (which I can say is great read for everyone!): That space holds so much power. And I thought that I’d understood this space when I’d come up with the “run it by the boss” question. But something was missing. After reading Emotional Agility, I’m realizing it’s actually a 2-step process and it was the most important step (Step One) that I left out before asking...

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Where I am

Within the past few weeks, I had three key moments of self-exploration or self-doubt that made me think about where I have been, where I thought I was heading, where I am now and, finally, where I want to be. As a parent, I want to know how I can convey my expectations and disappointments to my kids so they can understand where they are and where they are going someday. And for them to understand that goals and expectations will change with time and circumstances. First, I stumbled upon a bunch of college acceptance letters from 23 years ago. I had acceptance letters from Purdue, Villanova, Tennessee, etc. Second, I had a wonderful visit with a law school friend who has been travelling the world working for international organization(s) empowering women and fighting human trafficking. To say the least, I was envious and fascinated. Third, I had a job offer two (2) weeks into a new job within my department which had me question what my career path really should be. I sat and thought about where I’d been. A quick summary of my last 40 years is this: Survived meningitis as an infant and endured physical effects from hip dysplasia and luxating patella (floating kneecaps) in both knees to be a pretty good high school athlete with opportunities for college scholarships in soccer or tennis. I got accepted...

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Hitting the Reset Button

I want to start over sometimes. As a parent, I want to take the knowledge I have today and redo yesterday. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Think of all the therapy we’d save down the road, for everyone involved. I have certain things I believe in as a parent: Boundaries Consistency Meaning what I say/Saying what I mean All while staying connected with them. But, I’ve faltered a bit. I’ve focused some significant energy on one kid who had real apparent needs for structure. At the same time, I’ve let the “easier kid” creep up into the “getting away with...

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Rose, Thorn and the Unicorn

I do believe in gratitude and by reminding yourself daily of your blessings, it will benefit your well-being and resiliency. So, the goal is how to ask my kids for their “good thing” each night before bed. However, they are boys. So my attempts have been met with “eh, nothing”, “it was terrible” or even total b.s. answers like “I met John Cena today.” I kept asking, the boys just kept sighing and rolling their eyes while giving me dispassionate responses. Enter an idea from a friend, a friend who I greatly respect for her brain and her spirit....

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10 Ways Not to Lose Your Sh*t over the Holidays

Monday night, I had just climbed into bed, totally exhausted from a weekend trip that involved driving 8+ hours each way and non-stop adventure. I closed my eyes, seconds from falling asleep, when my older son yelled from his room “Oh Mommy, that Rubix cube that we couldn’t solve? I left it for the elves to do while we are sleeping! Great idea, right?!” What?!?! I told him I wasn’t sure that the Scout Elves (the Elf on the Shelf) could do that but he insisted they could. So, I stayed awake for 20 more minutes, then sneaked downstairs. I spent 10 minutes in the closet with the light on trying to solve the thing. It wasn’t a real one, it was a knock-off we bought from a rest stop somewhere in Pennsylvania. I couldn’t get the stickers off. I almost cried and smashed the stupid thing. I gave up and sent the following text to my wife, who was working until midnight: So, I put it under her pillow and fell asleep. I woke up in the morning slightly panicked and went downstairs. On the kitchen table, I found this: Done. Broken and taped back together (apparently you can’t break apart and rebuild the knock-off ones), but done. So we told the boys that the elves didn’t want them messing it up again. Later, as I was driving...

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