Author: Holly Robinson

To my 2nd and 4th graders,

I wanted to give my boys some advice before they started their school years last week. I had visions of Glennon’s letter to her son entering 3rd grade and wanted to write something HALF as great. So, I sat down to write 2 separate letters for them to read the night before school started. Each letter was specific to the particular kid and his personality and needs. I printed them out and put them in envelopes with their respective names. Now… Here’s where it gets real. I have lived enough to know that people don’t really want advice, even when they ask for it. I think I’ve parented enough to know that my children don’t want any “wisdom” imparted upon them from my years of experience to help them through their challenging times. My experience has been that advice is usually ignored, especially if it’s not a total affirmation of what that person already wanted to believe. I had some fantastical visual of my boys quietly reading each of their letters, then climbing into my lap and telling me their thoughts, telling me they loved me and thanking me for being so thoughtful and taking the time to talk to them through my writing. I know that I can sometimes write better than I can say things aloud and I hoped they would absorb everything I wanted to impart...

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Love your average different unpopular kids unconditionally

“Simply let them play. Just chill. Odds are high that your children will never be truly exceptional in any field, guaranteed your children will be God awful in more endeavors than not. In most ways on most days for most kids much of their lives will be spent within spitting distance of mediocrity. Average Joe’s and Jane’s. We should refashion parenthood by tolerating play, pain and failure. We should measure our children not by the mountains they conquer but by their efforts to climb. Oh, and let them pick which hills to scale.” Ron Fornier, “Love That Boy: WHAT TWO PRESIDENTS, EIGHT ROAD TRIPS, AND MY SON TAUGHT BE ABOUT A PARENT’S EXPECTATIONS” I’ve had another epiphany regarding parenting. Maybe most of you already know this, but I didn’t really KNOW it yet. My newest lesson is: I need to chill the f%&* out when it comes to my expectations of my kids. Seriously. I read (listen to) books every day in the car during my 2-3 hour daily commute. I alternate between fiction and non-fiction. Sometimes, I listen to books that really teach me something I want to share with as many people as possible, but I worry it is so preachy. Well, it may be preachy, but I don’t care. This post is a pseudo book review of Ron Fornier’s book “Love That Boy” and I can’t wait...

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Simmer Down

I’ve had a sudden onset of migraines the past few months and while I’m working on the medical investigation part of it, I’ve had friends ask me, “could it be stress?” I keep saying, “no, how can it be stress? I have no more stress than usual.” And that’s fairly true. When this all started, life was status quo. I didn’t have any huge money concerns (other than the usual), no big relationship issues, no big work projects dumped on me, no major crises in my family or work life….it was just my usual everyday craziness. My status quo is a little stressful, but nothing major has changed. However, I’ve noticed that I’ve been on edge and more easily frustrated recently. I feel that I’m not so laid back lately and things are getting to be easily and quickly. And I don’t think that’s the normal me, but I could be wrong. I feel like a frying pan. I envision a skillet filled with oil. It’s constantly on a high temperature, only taking a little teeny item to make it sizzle and spew grease everywhere. I need to fix it. I need to cool that oil down. I’m not talking about taking a day off work to play golf or a “mental health day” to go to the spa. I’m talking about 5 minutes. Just 5-10 minutes every day....

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Missed Plays

  There are some parents that would move heaven and earth to see their kids play in every single event. Whether it be theater, music, sports, etc., many parents want to watch every. single. moment. I get that. I’m one of those moms. Our children grow ridiculously fast and it pains us parents to think about missing moments, especially big ones. I want to be on the sidelines to cheer for my boy and his team. I want to help motivate him/them when the going gets tough. I want to watch the great moments and carve them into my brain so I can remind him of this when he’s older. But I’m ready to take a step back. Reason # 1 – Me I am a mom. I have a job. I’m the primary breadwinner. I drive 60-80 minutes each way to work and work 8+ hour days. I am on our city board of education. I am on other volunteer boards in our area. I play golf and co-ed softball (sometimes). I blog for CTWorkingMoms. I have friends that I try to help and spend some time with occasionally. I want to do all of these other things. And I want to be able to focus my best energy and full attention at all of these other things. That means, sometimes things have to give. I cannot leave...

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Reconnecting Again and Again

I think and overthink my mothering all of the time. Am I too hard on them? Do I pay enough attention to them? Do I judge too quickly? Do I show my pride? Do I make them feel badly that they don’t have an artsy mom who bakes? Are they bummed about not having a dad? I’m not super cool, I’m not trendy, I’m not a fashionable or super crazy fun mom. I’m a mom who works a lot, over-commits her time to things, is terrible at budgeting, gets too anxious at ball games sometimes….I’m imperfect in so many ways. I worry about the long term affect of so many things, big or small. It’s ridiculous, this being responsible for the growth, development, well-being, safety and sanity of another human being. Sometimes, I think that having soon-to-be-20-yr-old twin stepdaughters has taught me something. And, I realize it truly has. Because I couldn’t give them much as a “parent”. But I think we did what we could and learned that the one thing we did give was love, belonging and connection. We promised them we’d always be here and we’d listen to them as judgment-free as possible (not an easy task and I wasn’t always successful at the judgment-free part). But we genuinely let them know they could trust us and would always be part of us. Then I flashed...

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