Deep Work: Parenting Prevents You from Doing It

Mar 13, 2015 by


You can’t get anything done if you are constantly hopping from one thing to the next, only to find yourself plummeting down the rabbit hole.  Also, you should get an awesome pocket watch on a chain, because at least you can be stylin’ while you’re unproductive.


I stole the concept of “deep work” from this guy’s blog, and maybe some other places that I can’t remember. I may be mangling the concept here, but my interpretation of it is the incredibly detailed and well thought out focus you give to a project or problem. Deep work is important, because without it, you can’t turn out work product that is of the highest caliber, or obtain your desired outcomes in the most efficient yet thorough way possible. In other words, if you’re just putting out fires all day, multitasking (which is really just rapid fire single-tasking, if you’re being honest with yourself), and checking items off a list as you rush to and fro, you are not really performing your best quality work and achieving the best possible outcome you can achieve.

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ADHD Mom: Fun with Amphetamines, Part 2 (Is It Working?)

Feb 28, 2015 by

amphetamine salts 20 mg

I can’t tell if my Adderall is working or not. I have had mixed results over the course of the first week on it, starting at half the target dose. Now that I’m on my third day at the target dose, I can’t say for certain that it’s doing what it’s supposed to be doing, at least to the extent that it should be. Earlier today I despaired at the thought that this, my second attempt at an ADHD medication (the first was Strattera, a non-stimulant), could be another failure. Even now, after the wearing off of the initial high from the second dose, the feelings of disorganization and chaos in my brain are returning at full force. I’m getting antsy, noticing unfinished projects everywhere, and carrying things into rooms with me only to forget what I intended to do with them in the first place. I was getting to the point where I considered that the Adderall may actually be making things worse, not better.

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ADHD Mom: Fun With Amphetamines

Feb 22, 2015 by

Yeah, I'm gonna need some stronger stuff.

Yeah, I’m gonna need some stronger stuff for this.

A thing that happens when you’re diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 35, after quite a bit of life experience, is that you suddenly look back on all the work you’ve done in school, your career, etc., and wonder how much more you could have accomplished if you had been diagnosed earlier. You speculate whether you could have been more productive and accomplished had you known earlier on that the dragons you were always trying to slay were just a tad bit stronger and deadlier than those most people need to deal with. The same principle applies with a late diagnosis of depression or anxiety, or the fun combination of both that I have. But ADHD is its own special pain in the ass, because it is the definition of anti-productivity. Its primary afflictions are those that impact our executive functioning: the ability to plan and organize, focus our attention, utilize our working memory, inhibit our impulses in order to carry out the task at hand, exercise patience when sorting through a difficult task or unexpected roadblock, and solve problems. Neurotypical folks usually take the executive functions for granted, because to them, they are as automatic and natural as breathing. And many of us who are diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood have spent our lives unconsciously compensating for these deficits with our strengths in other areas.

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Parenting, Pride, and a Poem. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Feb 15, 2015 by



When you become a parent, you don’t change completely.  You change, yes, but it’s more that being a parent becomes an aspect of you.  YOU do not change.  You are still yourself, fundamentally.  Even as parenting shapes you over time, you never lose yourself entirely.  Instead of trading in your old identity for the role of Mom, at your core, you remain exactly who you are.  Do not forget this.

I used to write poetry, among other things.  I happened upon a poem I wrote back in October.  I’d like to share it with you now, even though it has nothing to do with parenting.  It also seems fitting for Valentine’s Day weekend, though I’m not certain why:

Guns and Tulips

For you, the toughness is a season
Interwoven, the highest form
returning to that place when you are tired.

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“Why Is Everyone the Same Color?” Race, School, Cartoons, and My Kid.

Feb 8, 2015 by

Sailor Moon Fan Art by Mommy and Mackenzie, Age 4.

Sailor Moon fan art by Mommy & Mackenzie, Age 4.

The girls and I were watching a cartoon the other day.  At one point, my older daughter gave me a puzzled look and said, “hey, why is everyone the same color?”

“You mean, their skin?” I asked.

“Yeah.”  Wow.  I was dumbfounded.  “Hmm, I don’t know.  That’s strange, right?  Not at all like at school?”  She nodded.  She went back to watching the show.

Indeed, every character in that cartoon was white.  (Well, actually, they probably only appeared to be white — but I’ll get to that in a minute.)

So at this point, I am mentally patting myself on the back.  I win at parenting!  I have taught my daughter to be race conscious and to value diversity!  Or have I?

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