Last night my wife Dory and I went to visit our good friends, Luna and Dan, and their brand new baby. She is so precious! I have been craving baby and this fix hit the spot. Four more months til ours is on the outside! The new mom and dad were inviting “family only” to the hospital and we were honored to get the invitation. We’re Auntie Molly and Auntie Dory even though there’s no blood relation. But the thing is, there will be soon. Dan is our sperm donor. Our baby and their baby will be biological half-siblings. Since our friends will go by Aunt Luna and Uncle Dan for our kid too, we’re calling the babies “cousins.” When Dory and I first started about starting a family (seven years ago!), we hated the idea of a sperm donor but it was a necessary evil. We looked at adoption and foster care very seriously, but in the end it came down to what we could afford (and which process we were prepared to put ourselves through). An anonymous donor seemed like the best way to go though we were uncomfortable with some stranger having such a big impact on our child’s biology and identity. Would she want to meet him? Would she see him as her father? The idea was very threatening. We wanted our baby to have two parents: us....Read More
I have been a wreck since the ultrasound. It was all good news. Measurements on track, bones and organs present and growing, regular heartbeat, little fingers and little toes. All the screenings we’ve taken have been low-risk/negative. I wasn’t really worried about all that. 99% of babies come out with all of these things in tact and I had no reason to think mine would be different. Then they told us it was a girl. She is a girl. That’s what I fixated on as the “bad news.” I went in feeling totally fine about either sex, but the...Read More
So you’re thinking of getting pregnant? Congratulations! We’d love to offer you an amazing deal on your first trimester. The miracle diet! Drop 20 pounds FAST! You’ve heard of pregnancy for weight gain but how about weight loss? That’s right, when you’re unable to eat, losing fluids through vomiting, and your sweet parasite is getting nutrition from your stored fat, you will shed those pounds. You’ll even lose blood through your nose, mouth, vag, and butt! But don’t worry! You can keep your weight loss discreet with the included BLOATED BELLY! Are you tired of feeling like a human?...Read More
Two months pregnant and I’m letting down my kid. I don’t really feel that way (maybe a tiny bit), but I’m afraid others might. Mommy forums and the mainstream culture are full of a narrative of being in love with your baby before it’s even morphed from embryo to fetus. I read a lot of gratitude for morning sickness and happiness to put up with anything out of a mother’s love. Sorry, I’m not that perfect. I actually don’t like feeling nauseous! I don’t like a lot about this first trimester and how much it is cutting back on my work time. I don’t like being out of control of my own body. I hate this exhaustion… and if I hate being really tired, I guess I’ll hate being a mom, right? Here’s a really dark secret for you. I’ve wished to feel better. Which would basically mean wishing for a miscarriage. I don’t let myself go too far down that road of beating myself up for being human, though. When you feel sick, you want to feel better. That’s normal. That’s OK. I know I am not going to magically transform into a selfless saint from my baby’s first breath, just like I didn’t at its conception. AND I can still be an awesome, loving mom who does make a lot of sacrifices for her kid. I don’t have to...Read More
Well, that was quick! After totally freaking out after not getting pregnant on our first cycle, the second one took. I felt guilty telling my aunt who struggled with infertility for years before adopting my cousin. We had just commiserated on the phone during my two-week wait about how fertile people just don’t get it. (Not that I saw myself as infertile, but using artificial insemination with donor sperm already put us more into that category than a couple who didn’t have to think so much about it.) My wife and I both don’t believe it. We didn’t have the jumping-up-and-down-YAY moment I had imagined, but I let go of so many of my expectations last month. For any TTC lesbians, I wrote out every little detail of how we did it in case it helps you. I’m due in October! But my main focus right now is how my manuscript is due to my publisher in May. I’ve had a not-so-fun week of exhaustion, nausea, and vomiting and it isn’t really conducive to writing. Morning sickness and fatigue are supposed to last to April which means I’d have to write most of my book like this. It feels impossible. Hopefully it’s...Read More
Don’t Miss a Thing
Hugs from Us to You
All rights reserved. All blog posts, images and related content are property of CT Working Moms, LLC. Republication or redistribution of content, text or images, in part or whole is strictly prohibited without prior consent from the website owner.