Author: Sarah C

Don’t Forget to Remember Me

My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease this month.  It wasn’t a total surprise, as we had been noticing him declining for several years, but it has still managed to turn my world upside down.  He went from working full time to suddenly retired overnight, living by himself to moving in with my mom (which is totally weird since they’ve been divorced for almost 10 years), and he no longer remembers details of our major life events.   By the time my one year old can have a meaningful conversation, my dad will likely not know who he is. My mom’s mother also had Alzheimer’s for several years, so I am well aware of how it progresses.  You see them die slowly, memory after memory, and start the grieving process over from the beginning with each new loss of function.  After I heard my dad’s fate, I took out a DVD of my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary.  My mom had gotten it converted from VHS for me last year, but I had yet to actually watch it.  It was time.  As soon as I saw my grandpa greeting guests from a distance I felt the tears start.  It was incredible to see him again.  To see him rub his nose the way he always did, with his old-fashioned handkerchief, and help my grandma stand up from her chair.  I watched...

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Rule 28

Any NCIS fan is familiar with Gibbs’ rules.  A quick Google search will produce various cheat sheets, for example: Rule 9 – Never go anywhere without a knife Rule 22 – Never ever bother Gibbs in interrogation Rule 23 – Never mess with a Marine’s coffee… if you want to live Rule 36 – If you feel like you are being played, you probably are Rule 39 – There is no such thing as coincidence … and so on.  In a recent episode Gibbs told Agent Bishop Rule 28, “When you need help, ask.”  My husband and I were watching it together.  As soon as Gibbs got the words out Hubby started elbowing me, asking “Did you hear that? Did you hear that?”  The topic had come up between us recently.  After handling what seemed like everything myself for over five years, I hit a breaking point.  I couldn’t do daycare drop off and pick up anymore.  I couldn’t be the only one who did dishes anymore.  I needed a couple hours a week where I could have some alone time.  My poor hubby was kind of bombarded with new demands all at once because I had held everything in for a long time.  I thought sucking it up and doing everything myself was better than starting a fight.  In hindsight, that wasn’t the best decision.  But you know...

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Baby Hangover

I do not want another baby.  I am not a happy pregnant woman, my body does not handle it well, and I can barely keep up with the two kids I already have some many days.  Even after we had a second boy and every other person I saw said “Oh, you have to try for a girl still” I replied “No, actually I don’t.  This uterus is closed.”  No hesitation or second guessing myself.  I know what I can and cannot handle.  But a funny thing happens when I realize my baby is almost walking and doesn’t want me to help feed him anymore; I miss the infant I brought home.  Some people would call it baby fever, but like I said, I really don’t want another baby.  No, what I have is baby hangover. I do it to myself.  I like all the baby pages on Facebook, so all the cute newborn outfits show up in my newsfeed.  Last week I saw the most adorable pacifier attached to a stuffed baby lion.  I wanted it.  My baby is 14 months old, way past the recommended age for such a pacifier, but it was just so stinking cute I wanted to get it for him.  He would find some way to play with it right? About a month ago a coworker brought in her newborn grandson to show...

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How Did I Get Here?

It’s a loaded question isn’t it?  How did I get HERE?  I’ve been thinking it a lot the past year.  So many nights, as I tried to fall asleep but failed miserably, I would wonder how I got myself into the situation that was making my mind refuse to shut off.  On any given night I could be worried about one or more “here’s”.  Since I’m a math person, I’ll explain it with logic. If HERE = Here, here Then… I’ve been following CT Working Moms for a couple of years now. My son was around three at the time and I was struggling with his typical three-year old shenanigans.  Once I started reading through other moms’ posts I found myself saying “Yes!” out loud, a lot. It was so comforting to know I was not the only one going through it.  Then when I saw the Love More, Judge Less campaign I fell in love with the site all over again.  It’s just such a fantastic message and philosophy to live by. After I gave birth to my second child I went to a few meetings at my local hospital for Mom’s Group. There were lesbians, first time moms, veteran moms, working moms, stay at home moms, breastfeeding moms, formula feeding moms.  Our differences went on and on, but none of them mattered. We were all sitting there...

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