As parents, we all have checklists running in the backs of our minds pretty much all the time. Usually in the form of questions. Did everyone remember to pack their lunch? Did I turn the stove off? Are the Girl Scout forms all filled out? Who did I forget to call back? What day am I supposed to bring cupcakes in to school? (Please, please let it not be today.) Did I turn the stove off? As the parent of a transgender child, that checklist is constantly growing in new and surprising ways. Questions I never would have had in my Life Before the Big Reveal. All the usual questions are still there. Kids are kids, no matter their gender or orientation. But they’ve been joined with: Should we tell parents before accepting sleepover invitations? Do my feelings of social obligation outweigh my child’s right to privacy? Is this a social issue or a medical issue? Will she be safe if she tells her classmates that she’s transgender? Can her schoolmates who know keep a secret? Does that bathing suit make it obvious that she has a penis? Huh, I forgot that she has a penis. Did I remind her to pee sitting down before she left for camp? That checklist also includes questions for the future that, if our daughter were cis gender, I would never have considered:...Read More
When I look back at my parenting life, I don’t see pivotal moments standing out as the sea change of our lives. Sure, every once in a while life changes in the blink of an eye and you don’t see it coming. But more often, for every pivotal moment we have experienced, there have been months and years of signs leading up to that moment.Read More
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