Farts, Burps and Fuzzy Bums

Aug 21, 2015 by

farting

Funniest joke ever…to a 4 (almost 5) year old!

I am THAT mom – the one who has the kids who will seemingly be the “bad influence” on the younger, more impressionable children at our preschool; the one who has the kids that other moms will secretly tell their kids not to listen to or hang around, lest their kids learn naughty things from mine.

Last year, I was the mom telling my kids to ignore the naughty, wild kids who obviously made my children uncomfortable (because deep down, children generally know what’s (in)appropriate). Eventually, however, my words would poof into thin air, as my children became more exposed to what kids will inevitably become exposed to – dirty words, jokes, and actions that are childish and slightly raunchy. Eventually I gave up on telling my kids to avoid those kids, and figured that it’s just part of growing up.

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Do The Potty Dance!

Aug 3, 2015 by

(In honor of summer vacations and being in very public places where you are forced to take your kid into a public toilet, the following is a repost of a post I did almost exactly 2 years ago.)

RANT ALERT (If you’re sick of my ranting, please move on to another post without reading…)!!!

I’m writing this after just having come back from the ladies’ restroom where I sat (gasp!) on the toilet seat and ended up with a bottomful of someone else’s pee. This isn’t a random public restroom (although I won’t say where it is); it’s a semi-private restroom where the patrons using it are limited. NORMALLY here, I’d wipe down the seat and line it with paper before sitting (because at 5-ft tall, squatting usually means I end up peeing everywhere) but for whatever reason, I just pulled up my dress, pulled down my undies and sat, only moments later realizing the mistake that I had made.

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Chow Time…

Jul 20, 2015 by

If there is one thing in my parenting existence that gives me a ridiculous amount of stress, it is MEALTIMES. I.NEED.HELP.

I am the girl who went to college and lived my entire first year eating frozen yogurt and cold cereal…the dorm dining hall was my junkfood dream…I am a carb junkie. Last Wednesday, while my intentions were good, I left Subway without eating when I noticed that the sandwich lady sneezed on the case that held the bread. Rather than be bummed out, I was happy because it gave me an excuse to eat peanut M&Ms for lunch.

My eating habits suck.

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When Mommy Grows Up…

Jul 6, 2015 by

To me, they’re still babies. I see them struggle with something – opening a bottle, getting dressed, putting on their shoes – and my first reaction is to run to their rescue. When I walk into a store, I still walk straight to the BABY or TODDLER section; perhaps partially in denial over the fact that their clothing no longer has an “M”or “T” on the size tag, but that it’s either a straight-up number or set of letters (4/5 or XXS).

I still treat them like babies, giving them a little snuggle in the morning before pulling them out of bed; cradling my non-morning-person son in my arms, kissing his sweaty forehead, while his long gangly legs hang over my lap.

“You used to fit in my lap when you were little…” I tell him.

“When I was a baby?”

That question catches me off guard. I think: You’re still a baby.

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Following the Dream

Jun 22, 2015 by

A few weeks back, I participated in a community service event. The event paired members of the organization that I was in with kids in a poor local school district. Our mission was to clean up trash at a community park, plant flowers, and generally give these kids a chance to get away from the burdens of everyday life. I was paired up with a very sweet, happy and smart girl – all I knew about her going into the event was that she is 9 years old, has multiple siblings, and loves animals. From our discussion that day, it was clear that her family struggles financially and that the situation at home is probably not ideal.

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