A Story about a Stork, A Mom, and Two Babies

Sep 15, 2014 by

Credit: © Can Stock Photo Inc. / zdanu4ka

Credit: © Can Stock Photo Inc. / zdanu4ka

My son is obsessed with stories – not fairy-tale or illustrated stories that you find in books, but the kind that you tell while sitting around a campfire; the kind that you are forced to use your mind’s eye to illustrate.

Most nights before bed, we’ll sit down and either hubby or I will make up a short story. It always includes a boy named Bubba and a girl named Bree Bree (and nine times out of ten, it also usually includes farting and stinky feet). Last night, my son announced that he was going to tell the story.

So here, it is. A story about a stork, a mom, and two babies from the mind of a four-year-old boy (embellished by Mom for coherence…although, I have to say that most of the details are his…)


What Forever Memories are Made Of

Aug 25, 2014 by

How old were you when you had your earliest memory? For me, it was my second birthday. I don’t remember all of it, but I can remember that my mother put me in an orange dress in anticipation of company coming over. The dress was nothing memorable until my mother produced a matching orange necklace that had come out of a cereal box.

“I saved this for you because I thought it would be pretty with your dress, ” she whispered to me, as she gave me a kiss on the cheek and placed it around my neck. I was so proud of my dress and matching plastic orange necklace.

Despite big events occurring later in that year including my first day of preschool and (apparently) a trip to Disneyworld, my next memory isn’t until a fair bit later. We were making birdfeeders in preschool with large pinecones, peanut butter (imagine doing this now!) and birdseed. Being a peanut butter fanatic, I tried to lick it out of the pinecone and was scolded by one of the teachers in front of all of my classmates. I was immensely embarrassed.

The F*CKING Fours!

Aug 18, 2014 by


The scene at breakfast last week…”MOMMY!!!! You put too much milk in my cereal!!!!!”

“Beware of the Terrible Twos,” people used to warn me. I’d nod, smiling smugly, thinking I must have really good kids. We waited, we were ready, and yet their entire second year of life, we never experienced that moment when my innocent little twin babies suddenly turned into monster toddlers.

The warning of the Terrible Twos turned into “Oh, the twos are EASY compared with the Thrilling Threes…” Again, I waited on edge and yet still my kids remained happy, cooperative (for the most part) and easy all year. I patted myself on the back once again, silently praising our good genes and phenomenal parenting skills.

Then one day, I turned the corner, not realizing that Karma, the b*tch that she is, was hiding in the shadows. “Welcome to the F*CKING FOURS!!!!” she screamed, as she threw a plate of humble pie into my face.

The Mommy Badge

Aug 11, 2014 by

“When does the ‘being tired’ phase end?”

My friend smiled impishly, “You mean it ends?”

From the day my kids were born, I have been tired – I have a feeling it will be like this for a long time. I don’t really mind it much because while yes, I lament about it, and on days that I drag my butt out of bed earlier than I wish I had to, I do complain, I know it just kind of comes with the territory. It’s just a fact that as a mom, you are constantly awake when the rest of the world is sleeping.

When your babies are hungry or feeling cold and insecure in their new worlds as newborns, they wake up in the middle of the night because they want to know that Mommy is there to attend to their needs. You feed them, rock them, and make them feel warm and comforted.

Let’s Cut Dad Some Slack

Aug 4, 2014 by

PREFACE: This past week, I played mom to FOUR kids. Every summer, we invite our nieces (city girls) to come to camp here in rustic Connecticut. While the girls are easy to manage and my kids LOVE being with them, we still need to work hard to keep the household running. This week, my husband MAJORLY stepped up; being in lockstep with me the entire time. As a result, we all had an awesome time and no one was worse for the wear. So, in honor of Dad, I am re-running the following post that I wrote last year.


Dad’s Honey-Do List

Yesterday, I was feeling sorry for myself; lamenting in solitude about how I was “stuck at home” handling the kids, getting them ready for our very busy day while HE was off for his weekly run with our running club. It’s not that I minded being home with the kids; in fact, it was quite the opposite. It was that I minded that Hubby had declared that he was going to take Saturday morning for himself without really asking me.

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