The Truth About Being an Older First Time Mom

Jul 21, 2014 by

overthehill

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. My life plan was to get married by 25 and be finished with having kids by my early 30s. I achieved the first part of that goal, having gotten married at 25 to my college boyfriend, but the second part didn’t happen as planned.

Initially, it wasn’t that we weren’t getting pregnant; it was that whenever we looked at where we were, we weren’t READY to have kids. When I turned 30, I was working full-time in NYC (commuting 2 hours each way), finishing up my MBA on the weekends, living in a tiny house, and looking for a job closer to home. That last part, I justified to myself, was my prerequisite to starting a family…and so we waited. Then, the job closer to home came, but we were still living in a tiny house and wanted to move to a better school district…and so we waited. Eventually, there wasn’t much left to wait for…and so we decided to try.

No More Pillsbury Dough-Girl…Changing My Approach for the Better

Jul 14, 2014 by

doughboy

Credit: Pillsbury

I wanted this summer to be THE summer…the summer that I got my body back. Here I was at 40 years old, 3.5 years post-partum and STILL using my kids as an excuse as to why I couldn’t lose weight:

I’m too busy to exercise…

I don’t have time to cook and eat properly…

Pregnancy at a late age is hard…

I spent the first weeks of the summer trying to lose weight – I restricted calories and/or added mileage and became increasingly frustrated as none of it worked. I’d gotten to the point where I had resigned myself to the fact that I’d be perpetually fat until my kids were old enough to watch themselves while I worked out, but then I saw all of the moms around me who have rockin’ bods and wondered what they’re doing that I wasn’t.

Facing My Reality and Living My Dream

Jul 8, 2014 by

Vivian dream

I sometimes feel like I am doing something wrong; like I am behind in life. I live in a section of Fairfield County where the lives of my friends and neighbors feel completely intangible to me, and I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I look around me at the beautiful homes that surround my less-than-beautiful home and I wonder…HOW did these people build this much success in a short amount of time to afford the lifestyle that they are living? I’m not talking about established couples who are much older than we are; I’m talking about people who are in the same peer group as we are.

Even Though Mom Doesn’t Like to Cook, the Kids WILL be OK

Jun 30, 2014 by

diner2

My idea of the perfect meal – the greasy spoon diner.

I think this is the first time I’ve admitted this fact - I dislike cooking. While I’m not a bad cook, I don’t enjoy doing it. I think it’s because I’m just not a foodie – I mean, sure – I enjoy good food, but I love eating a $10 meal at a greasy spoon joint where coffee flows freely as much (if not more) as I enjoy a meal that costs multiples more than that. To me, food is just food and hence, I get very little joy out of creating culinary “masterpieces.”

The Happy Face, Vacation Money System (AKA Teaching Good Behavior and Money Management Skills to Preschoolers)

Jun 23, 2014 by

 

My kids have been a little bit punchy lately.

When it comes to using “tricks” for effective parenting, I am TOTALLY CLUELESS. Up until now, my M-O incorporated a combination of timeouts and bribery (apparently a parenting no-no!). However, as my kids get older and they learn to game the system, timeouts and bribery are no longer effective.

I was lamenting about this to a friend and she stated the obvious that wasn’t so obvious to me. “Use a reward system.”

I looked at her, probing for more details.

“You can do anything – stickers on a chart, cotton balls in a jar. Whatever it is, reward only good behavior, do not punish bad behavior, and provide a visual cue to the child on how well they’re doing relative to their goals.”

OMG, she is BRILLIANT.

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