Tenacity

Apr 23, 2015 by

One thing I really want to give my kids is resiliency, the ability to rebound, the ability to find hope when things are going badly, to pull themselves up by their boot straps, to be full of grit and just plain determination, scrappiness and tenacity. I know I’ve posted about this before, but I feel like we’re still at the beginning of the learning stages.

My 8 year old is a great kid but I find myself seeing his stubbornness as frustrating, rather than a great quality – like tenacity. He tends to show personality traits that began to worry me about his refusal to show perseverance, his stubbornness would result in “screw this” rather than determination. This is a kid who would start battles about homework and reading when it was “too hard”, who quit soccer because it was boring (and the other kids were better than him), who would talk about not playing baseball anymore when he had a bad game (last Spring), who would almost have real meltdowns over video game defeats, who would constantly talk about getting things and making money by trying to find the easiest route possible. When we talked about working for something, he’d shut down and stop listening.

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Accidental Date Night

Apr 23, 2015 by

Alternate title, for all of you old school Charlie Brown fans- “Happiness is… when your child begs and pleads for a sleepover at Nonni & Poppy’s house.”  Because that is exactly what happened last weekend!  Jake had been begging, pleading, literally clasping his hands and BEGGING to have a sleepover at my parents’ house.  How could we deny him this one small favor?!  I mean, c’mon here, people- child is begging to leave our home for a 24 hour period which includes 8 hours of solid quiet sleep.  OMG Of COURSE you can!!!  My parents, were, obvs, very happy to oblige!  On their end, they were equally as thrilled- time to spoil the grandkids, go on day trips, and teach them the joys of rolling out dough, and making their own pizzas.  It was a super win win.

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One Year Later

Apr 22, 2015 by

Eleanor

May 12th will be the one-year anniversary of my daughter Natalie’s surgery to fuse her spine and correct severe scoliosis caused by a neurological disorder called Neurofibromatosis (NF). As winter has turned to spring my mind has begun to wander to the events leading up to and following that extremely difficult day. With those memories has come residual anxiety and sadness and continued fear of what we may face next. Rather than focus on those difficult emotions I’ve tried instead to reflect on how much I have learned this year.

Night Before

Natalie and I at Mother’s Day dinner–the night before her surgery.

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Reconnecting With My Daughter

Apr 22, 2015 by

Parenting is a delicate balance.  Since we had our second child 14 months ago, hubby and I have managed to survive via the whole divide and conquer parenting method. My husband is the one who tends mostly to my older daughter’s needs and I spend most of my time making sure the baby doesn’t wander off into traffic or something.

Rare moment with all four of us.

Rare moment with all four of us.

But lately I feel myself a little distanced from my daughter.  It seems this mode of divide and conquer survival in our home has unintentionally created a slight family divide and I miss my girl.  My firstborn. The one I carried in my belly for nine months and nurtured through infancy to now while a scared shitless first time mom. And I know she misses me. So I have started to spend more time reconnecting with her in various ways:

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Sexual Healing

Apr 22, 2015 by

I’m a firm believer in the fact that we don’t talk about the struggles of marriage enough.   A lot of people enter marriage with rose-colored glasses thinking that everything will work out fine all because two people committed to each other.  If only that were true.  Marriage is hard work.  Any relationship that is worthy of maintaining is hard work.

One of the hardest things in marriage to talk about and navigate is sex.  Why is it so hard to talk about sex with the person with whom you are having it?  Why is it so hard to talk about sex in general?  Aren’t we all sexual beings?  Isn’t sex an important aspect of a healthy marriage?  Then why is being open about sex and the challenges of maintaining a sexual relationship so hard?

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Hangin’ With my Homegirl

Apr 21, 2015 by

My husband and older daughter recently visited family on the West Coast, leaving me and my almost-two year old behind. The decision to split up was mostly financial – travelling cross-country costs $2,000 minimum. With some summer vacation goals in sight, the full family package wasn’t penciling out this time. Furthermore, my work is especially busy, so me and my little lady kicked it Nutmeg style.

EmMom

We turned up the beet alright.

It. Was. Awesome.

This was our first time spending days together, just us. Every morning, she’d sing-song “Maaaahhhaaaam-my” until I brought her into my bed, trying to squeeze in a few more winks of sleep. She’d lay with me for a few glorious moments, then use all her might to lift my head up and get going. She’d request “email” (aka oatmeal) or “ogurt”, until we fixed her breakfast. She’s little but she’s got strong demands.

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Uncertainty: The Gateway to Possibility

Apr 21, 2015 by

I am in one of those “riding on cloud nine” moods where I think, for a moment anyway, that I’ve found Shambala and the Holy Grail.  Truth is, I’ve found nothing, except, it seems, a hefty dose of serenity on the other side of what has been several weeks filled with anxiety and overwhelm.

In the middle of overwhelm, I talked with my spouse about potentially taking off on a retreat.  Since her job will be sending her to San Francisco in a few months, she enthusiastically supported it.  It gives me an attitude adjustment, helps her absolve a little travel-guilt about being away from the family for a week for the first time, and we all win.  I found one that intrigued me, “The Fear Cure” at Kripalu.  Considering retreats are anything but cheap, I ordered the book to see if I could really buy in to this “new-age funny business” and sign up.

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