“It’s so hard to be good!”

Jul 30, 2014 by

Those were the words spoken to me by my four year old daughter the other day as I ordered her to “be a good girl” for what seemed like the millionth time.  This honest response, spoken in a most frustrated tone, really took me by surprise and for a moment allowed me to actually hear what emotions were going on inside that stubborn little head of hers.  Her confession was stated in the context of following our household rules, not with regard to treating someone with respect, although we have our challenges with that at times too.  With many of the things she says, I will think about it for a second and then move on, but she keeps repeating this phrase to us as justification for every one of her actions that are met with our criticism.  I was worried I made her feel like she was not a good person or that she should feel bad about herself if she did something wrong.  This just stirs up so many questions in my head like:  How do I expect her to follow the rules, when I am just making up them up as we go along?; Am doing a terrible job trying to raise a loving and compassionate person?; Will she have a tough time at school following the rules?; Do I really want her to be one to follow the rules all the time instead of pursuing her individuality?; Do I just plain suck at disciplining my child?; What does “good” really mean anyway?

Kid Art

Jul 30, 2014 by

Well, well. Another piece of art has been packed up with my child’s belongings to bring home from daycare. Awesome. No, really, I mean it. I love these little artistic expressions. Sigh. Cue the freaking Mom Guilt.

The problem is that we have tons of these creative products. And I don’t know what to do with them all. Correction: I DO know what to do with them all (circular filing cabinet, ahem), but the guilt can be pretty powerful sometimes. But seriously, I have to draw the line somewhere.

The art gallery.

The art gallery.

And I need to draw the line for a growing number of reasons:

1. As her little hands and feet grow, she is coming home with an increasing number of creations that include finger, hand, and footprints. I might as well be throwing my heart into the garbage can and then emptying the sink strainer on top of it. Plop.

Spreading Back-to-School Smiles in Your Community

Jul 30, 2014 by

I have a love-hate relationship with Back-to-School shopping. On the one hand, it’s the moooost wonderful tiiime, of the yeaaaar:

(that may as well be me in the commercial)

But on the other hand, the commercialism and greed of it all drives me nuts! I have looked though my kids’ closets, and they don’t actually need much. My older son legitimately needs sneakers and a bigger backpack, and both boys need fall pants but honestly, if you’ve lived through September in Connecticut, you know we still have about a month of summery weather after school starts. All those cute corduroy pants and sweater outfits they advertise are great…in late October. My kids will probably wear shorts for the first few weeks, then maybe they’ll add a hoodie. Maybe.

My Sage

Jul 29, 2014 by

With a diagnosis of Autism we wondered what we might do to help “treat” you or lessen the “symptoms.”  You showed us with your love of life and your buoyancy through tough moments that you didn’t need changing. We read stories from parents, from adults and teens with Autism, from professionals, and we wondered if we could lessen your pain, since it seems to permeate so many stories we heard.  Your smile and your laughter assured us that you are not their stories, but your own; full of delight, wonder and joy. I wanted to coax you out of your shell as if you were a turtle, and you showed me that you are a lion – r-o-a-r, a ballerina, and a superhero, but a turtle you have never been. 2014-07-20 13.23.29 I wanted to introduce you to life, instead you brought me to mine. On a slow hike through the woods you find the letters “F” and the “Y” in the sticks and leaves you bring me to hold.

Pinterest: Demystifying the Woman in Your Life

Jul 29, 2014 by

 

Oh come on!  It's not THAT hard! Source: http://littlefun.org/posts/Trying-to-understand-women-is-like-trying-to-smell-the-color-9

Oh come on! It’s not THAT hard!
Photo Credit

Men have asked these questions for ages:  What makes women tick?  What is going on in their heads?  What do they want?  It can feel like matter how well you know your wife or significant other, you don’t always understand why they do what they do or have a clue what’s on their mind most of the time.  It’s not for lack of trying.  Some things that are inside a woman’s mind don’t make it to the outside.

“We’re talking about sexual harassment here. And I don’t have to take it.”

Jul 29, 2014 by

As I approach my year anniversary as the director of public policy and communication for a statewide sexual assault coalition, I am encouraged by the amount of public attention and advocacy that has occurred, nationwide, during the last year. From campus sexual assault to #yesallwomen, there have been a lot of conversations about sexual violence and “rape culture”. While this is certainly progress, we need to do more to understand the everyday sexism and harassment that occurs in order to truly understand and change the culture we all live and grow in. It is in that vein that I share my few experiences out this summer, sans kids and husband.

Reflections on my solo weekend!

Jul 29, 2014 by

 

thCAVFC5DU

This weekend my children spent the entire weekend with their grandparents and my lovely spouse had to work. With the exception of dinner, I was free to do whatever I wanted to do. Sweet Freedom!

Do I nap before reading trash fiction or read before I nap? Or do I let the considerably smaller laundry pile upstairs or down, because I certainly wasn’t doing it before Sunday. Then I had to lecture myself to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. Strangely, my something new was spending time with people I haven’t seen in a while, rather than isolate. It’s so easy to let the routine of parenting get in the way of grown up time and when I have time, I really like to nap.

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