This Too Shall Pass

I am often asking my boys: “Where is the love?!”.  By ignoring me and making me work for each and every ounce of affection offered, they have turned me into the needy girlfriend who looks for constant affirmations that her boyfriend still likes her, that she’s cool enough, that she’s fun enough…. I think I’m going to be left hanging on for some time. In the not so distant past, they were Mama’s boys.  Now, I barely get a backwards hug (i.e. a hug with zero participation from one party in which he backs into you, does not actually put...

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Activism at Morning Drop Off

Most mornings, I walk my son next door and stand with the other parents, awaiting the bell to ring and for our children to head into their elementary school. And, most mornings, the conversations I have with the other parents as we wait are apolitical, focused on what we did over the weekend, where we’re heading to that day, or what’s happening that week at the school. But, after the election, those conversations changed. With a simple look or a shake of the head, mothers and fathers expressed their shock at the election and who “we” elected. Just a few days post-election,...

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A jack of all trades is a master of none.

Last week I had a doctor’s appointment. Same practice but new practitioner – so of course that leads to a game of 100 questions.  I try to give the cliff notes version of my medical history for the last five years – which includes (as brief) a rundown (as possible) of the kids – which is always entertaining because even doctors (especially ones that aren’t Gavin’s direct docs) aren’t sure how to ask questions when it comes to Gavin and Spencer. When they ask about Spencer, they want to be direct, but not rude. Unfortunately there’s no real PC way to say, “so hey, is your other son “normal?” or “Did you know that Gavin was going to have CP?” Sometimes I take mercy on them and answer all questions at once – but sometimes, I don’t and I make them squirm (payback for long wait time!) Anyway, this new doctor was generally interested in my life and family and how we make things work. Either we’re more of an anomaly than I thought or she hasn’t had much exposure to special needs families. In either case, we get on with the appointment and at the end she said something that has stuck with and bothered me since Friday: “You are a supermom. You’re an inspiration and I am in awe of you. Truly, I am very impressed by...

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Momfession: Still Not Sure I’m Doing It Right

Before I had kids I used to dream of being the perfect mom. You know. The mom who patiently tucks her kids into bed with prayers and songs. The mom who never yells. The kind of mom who makes healthy lunches the night before, whose kids are in bed before 10pm on a school night and she is not yelling like a lunatic for everyone to get into bed. The mom who knows what is the best thing for their child, how to keep them safe and who knows what they are doing. I have been a mom for...

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Confession of a Working Mother: I Can Do It All…But I Cannot Do It All Well

I have been a working mother for over thirteen years.  Over these years I have always worked more than full time since I have both a full-time career and an additional part-time job. Despite working at least fifty (and sometimes closer to sixty) hours each week, during these parenting years I have also earned an advanced degree, owned and managed a business, volunteered in my community and at my children’s school, and now I write for and manage this website and online community. Oh yeah, I also raised three children to school-aged, washed countless loads of laundry, spent thousands...

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Confessions of a Working Mom: Am I Qualified?

I’m not an awesome mom. Well, sometimes I’m an awesome mom. That’s when I have the right things to say and respond with the appropriate temperament. It’s when I’m at my older daughter’s Principal’s Pride assembly, giving her a thumbs up every time she looks back to verify that I’m still there. It’s when I chaperone my younger daughter’s farm field trip, helping buckle up 16 preschoolers in their bus seats, decorating gingerbread cookies, and cleaning up their messes, all while giving Emmeline a little extra love. It’s when I surprise them with an overnight trip to the water park,...

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Breathe Through the Pain

I got two tattoos this past weekend.  Because, you know, I’m cool like that.* One of them was on my ribcage, which, according to some, is a painful location to get tattooed.  When the needle hit the thin skin over my ribs, it took my breath away.  The artist stopped and looked up, “you ok?”   “Yes. I’m fine.  Just keep going.  Don’t stop.”   He looked quizzically at me, shrugged, and went back to it.  I put my head back and breathed deeply.   In.   Out.   Inhale.   Exhale.   Every time he paused to see...

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Organizing a Disorganized Life – Home Edition

As one of my best friends and fellow CTWM bloggers described the scene in her basement, my eyes widened with the possibilities. While she dreaded going through bags of hand me down clothes, I got excited thinking about sorting, washing and folding all of the clothes, placing them in labeled, stackable bins. While she seemed overwhelmed thinking about going through old things, I pictured myself guiding her to decide if her old books brought her joy and helping her let go and pass them on. I love to organize things. I love donating or throwing things away. Jenna seemed...

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Momfession: Remembering What Used To Be

I spend almost all my day caring for my kids or thinking of how I’ll care for my kids when I get home from work.  I am completely dedicated and I love being a mom But my momfession? I let myself fantasize about what my life will be like when I am not on 24/7 clean-up/entertain/food prep/fix/read…duty.  I know mothering never stops, but I think building towers made out of blocks does.  I know I’ll never stop worrying, but I think there is a point in time when I stop being invited to “check out” their poop (EVERY TIME)....

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Play Date Pursuit: 5 Missteps to Avoid

When you’re a mama to an only, particularly one with a diagnosis for which social deficits go hand-in-hand, it’s easy to become a bit obsessed with scheduling time for him to hang with friends. Martin Luther King Jr. Day–that one January school holiday and a day when my office is closed–has been a great day for a play date. But the stakes are high, since there are no “how about tomorrow’s” built in. Over the years, I’ve learned some lessons about how NOT to be successful in providing my kid–who is well liked–with a friendship experience on those treasured...

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