My Postpartum Depression Story – Emerging on the Other Side

Jan 28, 2015 by

It’s been almost four years since that June morning and I am no longer depressed.  I have a second son now and didn’t have postpartum depression with him.  I have since bonded with and love both of my boys more than anything in my life.  My bond is strong and secure with my sons. 

 

I am happy.

 

My sons are happy.

 

So when did my PPD go away?  I’m not exactly sure.  I suppose it gradually got better with time and antidepressants.  By my son’s first birthday I guess I felt “better” or at least better adjusted.  By this, I mean I looked forward to spending time with him, I felt a connection with him, and that “mother/son” bond had been formed.  I was able to sleep again, and I wasn’t constantly obsessed with thoughts and worries.  I (somewhat) came to terms with the fact that I will never again feel the kind of “normal” I did pre-children and this was my new normal.

Why Parents Have a Hard Time Talking to Teachers About Their Children’s Needs

Jan 25, 2015 by

1024px-Pink_Pearl_eraserThe girl’s violence struck the library like a bolt of lightning, drawing a gasp from the teacher and the librarian alike. Awkwardness soon followed the initial shock, and then the two adults exchanged a glance for a shrug. It was over. The teacher continued shuttling the children out into the hallway, back to the kindergarten classroom. The girl joined sullenly, her dark features receding as thoughts quickly turned to the remainder of the day ahead.

Just a moment ago, the girl had asked to see a book – the book the librarian had just finished reading to the class. The book made her angry. Some character, a silly anthropomorphism, had been wronged in some manner. The plot had concluded without the wrong being righted. It made her furious. On the way out of the library, as Mrs. Kelland’s kindergarten class fidgeted and bobbed along in their straight little line, she took the opportunity to break away and ask to see the book. The request was granted, and the girl smacked the book hard and fast with an open palm, more than once, and yelled the worst admonishment she knew at the age of five: BAD!!!

My Postpartum Depression Story – The Biggest Mistake of My Life

Jan 20, 2015 by

(My story …continued)

1month

Like all forms of depression, there are varying degrees of postpartum depression. It can fluctuate from of a mild case of the “baby blues” to a crippling case of serious depression, or a million situations in between.  To be honest, I don’t know where my case fell on that spectrum as it’s difficult to objectively diagnose one’s self.   I can tell you this: I never wanted to physically hurt my baby or myself.  But I did regret having a baby.  I felt no connection to him.  Only regret.  And hopelessness. I made the biggest mistake of my life and there was no way out.  I wanted someone to take my baby away and take care of him.

When I got home from the hospital, I was still physically a mess.  But that was nothing compared to the paralyzing fear I had of this tiny little person.

My Favorite Non-Necessity baby gear piece

Nov 7, 2014 by

After you have had a couple of kids you realize a majority of baby gear you register for in the baby stores while make life convenient but really are no necessary to raise your child. Except for formula, breast-milk  car seat, diapers and bottles everything else is to make your life easier.

Out of all the product that is totally an extra to have (wipes warmer, swaddles, etc) I must say I LOVE my video monitor the best. The video monitor is fabulous because it helped me in the following situations.

1. As a new mother scared my child would die if I wasn’t staring or holding him all the time the video monitor helped me watch him as soon as I switched him to his own room. I remember my husband watching me watching the baby yelling at me “Would you stop staring at our kid!” It did help me ease those first few weeks of anxiety.

Riding through the Rough Patches

Oct 14, 2014 by

2014-09-27 16.14.00

We’re going through a couple of rough patches with both kids.  They’re both having a tough time adjusting to their new grade levels.  Our daughter’s behavioral outbursts are escalating.  She’s spent a lot of time with substitutes and we just learned that today her teacher will be switched due to another teacher’s very untimely transfer to a different school.  Autism, ADD and constant change is now equaling nervous moms every morning when we wave to her on the bus.

Our son is experiencing more anxiety than I’m comfortable with about school, and it’s not about his ability to learn.  He’s an award-winning rule follower (when not at home).  He’s a dynamite kid but the pressure he puts on himself to have flawless behavior in school is intense.

Put these two together and this means more phone calls from the school than I ever wanted in their entire elementary education, a care conference promotion to an early PPT and more bedtime pep-talks than I know how to manage creatively.

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