A Random Sunny Friday as a Single Mom

Jan 13, 2016 by

There are days when I fully expect to be sad, anxious, depressed. My wedding anniversary. The date my ex-husband came out of the closet. Around the holidays. And there are other times when I just wake up, on a beautiful sunny day, with nothing in particular to be worried about, and it feels like the weight of being a single parent is just coming down on top of me. My stomach is in knots, and I know I shouldn’t drink coffee because it will make it worse, but I also know I can’t function without it on the little sleep I got last night. I mentally run through the list of possibilities of why I might be feeling this way. There is food in the fridge. I am not PMS-ing. I have a great job that I love, and both my son and I are in good health.

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In Her Best World, There Would Be No Doctors

Oct 5, 2015 by

I legitimately forget sometimes that my daughter used to live as a boy. In our everyday routine of school, homework, video games, chores, dinner together, and finding lost shoes, my daughter is just wholly, completely, and happily my daughter. We admire Jazz Jennings in our household. A lot. We talk about transgender heroes and role models like Laverne Cox and the groundbreaking work they have done to raise awareness and acceptance of being transgender. But my daughter chooses not to be out as a transgender girl. She does not want to be a role model, an advocate, or a hero. She wants to be a girl. Plain and simple.

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The Survivor Series: The Exposure Narrative

Sep 8, 2015 by

As I prepare to write this, I am fantasizing about rocking the fetal position under my desk, or perhaps taking a sick day and hiding under soft covers instead.  I live in a rather ironic balancing act between being an extreme introvert and yet being passionately called to roles that put me in front of a room.  They are my own choices, so this is not a request for sympathy (though compassion is welcome).  It reminds me, however, of the courage and vulnerability it takes to be seen, and I want to take a short minute to honor that for all of us who may straddle that uncomfortable, “red-faced producing” fence.

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community makes a world of difference

Sep 7, 2015 by

Something very special happened today. I went to my girls’ school to drop off paperwork for my older daughter, and I saw my younger daughter on the playground. She waved excitedly at me, and then turned around and went back to playing with her friends. And I wanted to cry with joy.

For some background, when she started school — in a different school district — she was a little boy who loved to wear pink sparkly dresses with astronaut rain boots. She hid her love of pink when she started school, because she already knew that boys weren’t “supposed to” like the color pink or wearing dresses. The school counselor called me on the third day of school to suggest that she wear sneakers like the rest of the kids so that she would fit in. Little did she know that was the LEAST of my concerns. I suggested that she encourage the other kids to be more accepting of diversity instead of modeling a need to conform.

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Parenting Personalities: Type A vs. Type B

Jul 23, 2015 by

When I became a mother in late 2013, my husband already had ten years of being a dad behind him. On top of this experience are our vastly different personalities. I am a pretty classic Type-A person: anxious, impatient, achievement-oriented, perfectionist, and a tendency towards “worst-case scenario” thoughts. My husband is very Type-B: low stress, relaxed, patient, and a bit of a procrastinator. One of his favorite sayings is “I don’t worry about something until there is something to worry about.” Not only do I not understand this mentality, it drives me crazy that he can fully embrace it while I have devoted hours, weeks, months, of my life to worrying. I have it down to an art.

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