Dear future postpartum Emily,
I am writing this because I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I know that sometime in the next several months you’ll be up at 3:00 am nursing or pumping or just generally not sleeping, and there is nothing you’ll need more than a pep talk and a hug. Maybe you’ll remember that I wrote you this letter, and maybe it’ll help. I hope it will.
Look, I know I have been a seriously emotional wreck during most of this pregnancy, but through all these tears, I’ve been gazing at this gorgeous, funny, charming, almost-2-year-old of ours and thinking back to a time when I envisioned myself scooping her up in her receiving blanket and, in one graceful motion, tossing her out the window. In my mind, it looked almost beautiful, like a choreographed ballet move. One swoop, and that shriveled, squealing thing would be out of my life. Sweet relief.