(My story …continued)
Like all forms of depression, there are varying degrees of postpartum depression. It can fluctuate from of a mild case of the “baby blues” to a crippling case of serious depression, or a million situations in between. To be honest, I don’t know where my case fell on that spectrum as it’s difficult to objectively diagnose one’s self. I can tell you this: I never wanted to physically hurt my baby or myself. But I did regret having a baby. I felt no connection to him. Only regret. And hopelessness. I made the biggest mistake of my life and there was no way out. I wanted someone to take my baby away and take care of him.
When I got home from the hospital, I was still physically a mess. But that was nothing compared to the paralyzing fear I had of this tiny little person.