Hugs Not Judgement {Special Photo Edition}

Oct 6, 2014 by

Here at CTWorkingMoms we believe in the importance of non-judgement. You do what’s best for your family and I’ll do what’s best for mine and we can still love, respect and even appreciate our differences. That’s the premise behind our Campaign for Judgement-Free Motherhood.

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We’ve talked a lot here about how we can all work towards being less judgmental – towards other moms and just in general. The first step is simply to recognize when we’re judging someone – you know, like when we see a child having a tantrum in the store and our first thought is ‘why isn’t that mom getting her kid under control??’ {GUILTY} One really powerful practice in working towards judging less and loving more is to follow up that judgmental thought with an opposing positive thought.

A Letter To My Friend: What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming A Mom

Sep 3, 2014 by

My Dear Friend,

 In a few short months, you’ll meet that little person growing inside you and your life as you know it will be gone.  There will forever be two yous: Before and After.  You’re no stranger to change – you picked up and moved to Spain to teach English, you relocated to Chicago with only a couple of bucks and your clothes. You’re a brave, strong woman.  But this change is….different. Although nothing can really prepare you for it, here are a few things that I wish I knew before becoming a mom:

 

  • It is harder than you can imagine. When I was pregnant with my first son I thought: I’m in my thirties (i.e. not a kid), have a career (i.e. no major financial issues), a good marriage (i.e. no relationship drama), a house (i.e. enough room for a family), I got this. I’m ready. Ha-ha. Little did I know. It doesn’t matter how secure you are and how much support you have.  And despite what people tell you, you will NOT love every second.  It is harder than you can imagine.   

Labor of Love: Part II

Sep 2, 2014 by

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We’re all in this together!

I had already spent some time as a social work student in a rape crisis center before I learned the cliché, “We can only give what we have to give.”  Perhaps you’ve heard it as “You can’t fill a glass from an empty well.”  Or maybe, “You can only love someone else as much as you love yourself.”

However it’s spoken, the message is the same. “Healer, first heal thy self.”  I was backwards, a nineteen year old survivor of violence, suffering through, trying to find meaning in it all.  If I could give to others what I never had, but a compassion I was just finding, perhaps I could heal that insatiably wounded and empty place.  In social work, we call it the “wounded healer.”  Typically, it is not a compliment.  Yet, far too often, it’s how we find our way into this field.  We land here for a reason.  The particulars may vary, but undoubtedly it’s to right a wrong, balance a scale, give back, or pay it forward.

World Problems Solved By My Three Year Old

Aug 19, 2014 by

Race Relations

 As a working mom of two young kids, admittedly I don’t have much time to keep up with world events. My daily news intake consists mostly of the local weather forecast and traffic updates. So when I saw the headline flash across my TV that the Governor of Missouri had declared a state of emergency, I was curious. What happened in Missouri? Some kind of weather disaster? Nope. A teenager was killed by a police officer. No – let me rephrase that – a black teenager was killed by a white police officer. Wait – what the heck does skin color have to do with that story? Apparently a lot. Enough to cause violent riots throughout the state.

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5 Important Lessons in Five Years

Jun 3, 2014 by

dons eyes I have had the pleasure of looking into these beautiful blue eyes for the last 5 years. My son and oldest child, Donald, turns five years old this week. It certainly has been a ride, that’s for sure. And, for as much as he has grown, I too have learned a lot about myself, motherhood, and being a family. In honor of this monumental birthday (it’s huge in my mind), I would like to take a moment to reflect on 5 of the most important lessons my son has taught me thus far.

 

 

Top 5 Lessons Learned in Five Years:

1. Life- the every day, like going to the park, riding a bike, shopping at Walgreens, or watching a tv show, is so very interesting and exciting;

2. People, their interests, their tastes, and their personalities grow and change and it is a lot easier and more pleasant to go with the flow than to fight against it;

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