Labor of Love: Part II

Sep 2, 2014 by

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We’re all in this together!

I had already spent some time as a social work student in a rape crisis center before I learned the cliché, “We can only give what we have to give.”  Perhaps you’ve heard it as “You can’t fill a glass from an empty well.”  Or maybe, “You can only love someone else as much as you love yourself.”

However it’s spoken, the message is the same. “Healer, first heal thy self.”  I was backwards, a nineteen year old survivor of violence, suffering through, trying to find meaning in it all.  If I could give to others what I never had, but a compassion I was just finding, perhaps I could heal that insatiably wounded and empty place.  In social work, we call it the “wounded healer.”  Typically, it is not a compliment.  Yet, far too often, it’s how we find our way into this field.  We land here for a reason.  The particulars may vary, but undoubtedly it’s to right a wrong, balance a scale, give back, or pay it forward.

5 Important Lessons in Five Years

Jun 3, 2014 by

dons eyes I have had the pleasure of looking into these beautiful blue eyes for the last 5 years. My son and oldest child, Donald, turns five years old this week. It certainly has been a ride, that’s for sure. And, for as much as he has grown, I too have learned a lot about myself, motherhood, and being a family. In honor of this monumental birthday (it’s huge in my mind), I would like to take a moment to reflect on 5 of the most important lessons my son has taught me thus far.

 

 

Top 5 Lessons Learned in Five Years:

1. Life- the every day, like going to the park, riding a bike, shopping at Walgreens, or watching a tv show, is so very interesting and exciting;

2. People, their interests, their tastes, and their personalities grow and change and it is a lot easier and more pleasant to go with the flow than to fight against it;

Oh, Facebook . . .

Jun 2, 2014 by

This week I decided to remove myself from a Facebook moms’ group that I had been added to by an out of state relative. I followed along for several months, but I realized that while I do believe in what these moms are doing, I am not against the things that they are condemning. I also felt myself starting to judge and become condescending. I have two kids and most of these women are younger with only one baby. I was beginning to feel like I knew more than them because I’d been around the block a time or two. In parenting, my views fall pretty much square in the middle. I think it’s super to wear your baby as much as you like, but I also don’t see a problem with a bit of crying it out. I also started judging myself. Am I not fit to be a mom because the thought of having to rock my baby until she falls asleep every night gives me hives? Is it bad I’d rather be packing the lunches for the next day, wiping down the counters and heading to bed myself? I comforted myself by telling myself that these moms have only been doing this a few months and surely they wouldn’t want to still be rocking to sleep every night when their kids are two and three years old. Again, there’s the judging happening. Let them rock their babies. How does that even begin to affect my life and my kids!? I certainly doubt that little Johnny is going to brag to my kid on the playground that his mom loves him more because she doesn’t mind an hour-long bedtime every night while her mom fidgets through a dreaded princess story.

I love, I mean hate, I mean Love breastfeeding…

May 16, 2014 by

The other day I was thinking about how much I love and how much I hate breastfeeding.

YUP I am going to say it out loud “Sometimes I fucking hate breastfeeding.” I do not have any hard core view on what is better breastfeeding, or formula and this is not the debate of this piece. (I personally don’t care what you feed your kids as long as you are feeding them that makes you a great parent in my eyes)

I am the type of person who needs to bitch about stuff and then I let it out of my system and feel better. I breastfed my son and am breastfeeding my daughter but honestly there are so many things people do not tell you about breastfeeding and I think all mom’s should hear some of it.

1. The beginning is a total mind fuck and HARD!

Teaching Our Children About Kindness on Mother’s Day [Photos]

May 12, 2014 by

Yesterday wrapped up 11 days of kindness here at CT Working Moms and what a wonderful experience it was! Each day for 10 days we gave readers a new random act of kindness idea on our Facebook page and yesterday, on Mother’s Day, we performed over 100 random acts of kindness with our children. For me, it’s important to teach my daughter about the importance of kindness starting at an early age. I’m incredibly proud to say that this past Mother’s Day marked 1 year since I started doing kindness activities with her and this girl is now a professional at making people happy!

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