The Worst Thanksgiving

Dec 1, 2014 by

This Thanksgiving was a whirlwind of low-level drama.  It started with the terrible weather on Wednesday and a slow, slick drive up to my parents’ place.  Thursday my daughter woke up in super-crank mode.  She was crying at nothing and everything, alternately refusing and demanding food, and wanting constantly to be held – but only by one of the two cooks, her Mama and Grammy.  There were lots of tears, followed by vomit at the dinner table, followed by a fever…  Don’t get me wrong, it was still a joyful (and delicious!) Thanksgiving, but it was also an event that screamed, “HI YOU’RE A PARENT NOW,” as though I’d forgotten.

Still, this was a vast improvement over last year.

My Post PPD Fears

Nov 14, 2013 by

Overwhelming sadness. Alone. Irritable. Ashamed.

These are the words that come to mind when I think back to my struggle with postpartum depression three years ago. During those dark days I remember feeling so confused. I knew how lucky I was to have this beautiful baby, and how happy I should be, yet I began feeling the exact opposite as time went by. Feelings of hopelessness, despair, and even anger began taking over my brain. I felt so alone, whether I was sitting by myself at home or in a room filled with other people. No matter how hard I tried to force my emotions to match the fake smile I plastered on my face, it didn’t work. I convinced myself it wouldn’t be that much longer before I “snapped out of it.” I was so wrong. Days turned to weeks which turned into months of depression.

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The Second Time Around

Mar 14, 2013 by

During the first trimester of my first pregnancy I frequently looked like I had been punched in the face. Why, you ask? Well, that my friends was caused by the popped blood vessels all around my eyes due to some intense vomiting. Morning sickness – it’s a term I hate especially because it can strike at any time of day. It gives the perception that you get sick in the morning and you’re fine and dandy the rest of the day. True for some women I’m sure but not for me. I was lucky that once I hit my second trimester it was as if my fairy pregnancy godmother waved her magic wand and *poof* I felt great! No more sickness and much, much more energy.

The infamous "baby belly" picture.

The infamous “baby belly” picture.

Dirty Little Secret

Mar 13, 2012 by

So I guess I could tell you that my dirty little secret is the fact that my car is so messy right now it looks like I’m living out of it; or maybe that I haven’t been to the gym since last September – both true statements. However, I’m going to get a bit more personal than that. The truth is I was diagnosed with postpartum depression about 6 months after my daughter was born. Huh, I guess it’s not a secret anymore is it?

This is my story…

I Ate My Placenta (and Other Stories My Husband Doesn’t Want Me to Tell You).

Sep 26, 2011 by

So by now, if you haven’t noticed by my discussions on homebirth and breastfeeding, I am sort of into natural family living/attachment parenting (i.e., fancy names for hippie stuff having to do with kids), and all of the “weird” things that go along with it.  Well, not all.  We haven’t tried Elimination Communication yet.  Maybe with the next kid.

But this is really a hidden gem that I believe deserves more attention, for the benefit of countless women who experience the effects – ranging from somewhat annoying to outright devastating – of postpartum depression.
Eat your placenta!

Well, actually, don’t literally eat it, because that’s kind of gross.

During my pregnancy, I stumbled upon some online discussions about the benefits of the mother ingesting the placenta after birth to help fight postpartum depression.  I asked my midwife about this, and she mentioned the name of a CT doula, Stacie Mandeville of Inner Wisdom Birth Services, who is certified in placenta encapsulation.