Oops I did it again: My second pregnancy #unfiltered

Jun 29, 2015 by

So a couple months back, my husband and I were talking about how easy it is having a toddler and how boring life has become now that she has little tantrums and is able to sprint away from us in public and does things like eat crayons and grind her dinner into the living room rug when our backs are turned for 2 seconds.  We figured that we could really use a new challenge involving less sleep, more crying, less alone time, and copious amounts of body fluids to keep us on our toes…

The real story is that my period was late in April so one morning before work I decided to take a pregnancy test just to rule THAT out… As these things go, it was instantly positive.  My brain was like, “NONONONO,” and tears spilled over onto my lap.  Yes, we thought we probably wanted a second child at some point down the road, but our daughter is only 20 months old, we are both in new jobs with very little sick time saved up, and we are in no way financially prepared to have two in diapers, two in daycare, and two college funds.

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My Pregnancy Journal

Oct 6, 2014 by

I made an interesting discovery this week when I was looking through the bookshelf in my daughter’s room: my pregnancy journal, which I kept up from around the sixth week of my pregnancy until she was born.  I even scribbled down labor/delivery details before tucking it away for almost a year.  Reading through it was like opening a 50-year-old time capsule.  It was a whole other era of me, and even though all the memories and special events of that time are still very much at the forefront of my mind, having some insight into my thoughts and feelings during pregnancy is really strange and funny.  Some thoughts on my discovery:

-I kept a pregnancy journal!  Bahahahaha… This is surely something that could never happen again.

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The Fear of Having Post-Partum Depression…AGAIN.

Sep 24, 2014 by

With my first son, I had post-partum depression. But that’s not what this post is about. To be honest, I’m not quite ready to write about that. This is about what happened the second time around.


First of all, I did not want to have another baby. Sure, I liked the idea of my son having a sibling (being one of four, I knew the significance of that experience). My husband wanted another child. But I did not. Why would I ever take the chance of going through that horrible nightmare again? Nothing is worth feeling like that. No, not even a child.  


Well, the conversation inevitably came up and I gave my husband the same reply every time “I’m just not ready yet.” I used that excuse for about a year. Then in a weak moment (or maybe subconsciously I thought I was ready, I don’t know) I said “Ok, let’s do it”. So I went off the pill and started timing things. About two days later I freaked out: There is NO way I’m doing this again! 

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A Letter To My Friend: What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming A Mom

Sep 3, 2014 by

My Dear Friend,

 In a few short months, you’ll meet that little person growing inside you and your life as you know it will be gone.  There will forever be two yous: Before and After.  You’re no stranger to change – you picked up and moved to Spain to teach English, you relocated to Chicago with only a couple of bucks and your clothes. You’re a brave, strong woman.  But this change is….different. Although nothing can really prepare you for it, here are a few things that I wish I knew before becoming a mom:


  • It is harder than you can imagine. When I was pregnant with my first son I thought: I’m in my thirties (i.e. not a kid), have a career (i.e. no major financial issues), a good marriage (i.e. no relationship drama), a house (i.e. enough room for a family), I got this. I’m ready. Ha-ha. Little did I know. It doesn’t matter how secure you are and how much support you have.  And despite what people tell you, you will NOT love every second.  It is harder than you can imagine.   
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The 8 Biggest Shockers of Having a Baby (for me)

Jun 9, 2014 by

Since the moment I discovered I was pregnant 15 months ago, life has been full of surprises, both amazing and… less amazing.  I could write volumes on this topic, but I narrowed it down to my top 8 for your consideration.  I am in no way trying to say that this list encompasses the most shocking things about parenting in general – these are my own very personal picks.

1) Feeling like a mom has been a very gradual process.  Even though I had eight-ish months to get used to the idea of becoming a mom and felt a profound sense of responsibility, connection, and love from the moment my daughter was born, I am still getting used to the role.  I still feel like myself, but I am also finding out that Emily plus baby equals more than the sum of the parts, and I am continuing to discover who that person is.

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