My Pregnancy Journal

Oct 6, 2014 by

I made an interesting discovery this week when I was looking through the bookshelf in my daughter’s room: my pregnancy journal, which I kept up from around the sixth week of my pregnancy until she was born.  I even scribbled down labor/delivery details before tucking it away for almost a year.  Reading through it was like opening a 50-year-old time capsule.  It was a whole other era of me, and even though all the memories and special events of that time are still very much at the forefront of my mind, having some insight into my thoughts and feelings during pregnancy is really strange and funny.  Some thoughts on my discovery:

-I kept a pregnancy journal!  Bahahahaha… This is surely something that could never happen again.

The Fear of Having Post-Partum Depression…AGAIN.

Sep 24, 2014 by

With my first son, I had post-partum depression. But that’s not what this post is about. To be honest, I’m not quite ready to write about that. This is about what happened the second time around.

 

First of all, I did not want to have another baby. Sure, I liked the idea of my son having a sibling (being one of four, I knew the significance of that experience). My husband wanted another child. But I did not. Why would I ever take the chance of going through that horrible nightmare again? Nothing is worth feeling like that. No, not even a child.  

 

Well, the conversation inevitably came up and I gave my husband the same reply every time “I’m just not ready yet.” I used that excuse for about a year. Then in a weak moment (or maybe subconsciously I thought I was ready, I don’t know) I said “Ok, let’s do it”. So I went off the pill and started timing things. About two days later I freaked out: There is NO way I’m doing this again! 

The 8 Biggest Shockers of Having a Baby (for me)

Jun 9, 2014 by

Since the moment I discovered I was pregnant 15 months ago, life has been full of surprises, both amazing and… less amazing.  I could write volumes on this topic, but I narrowed it down to my top 8 for your consideration.  I am in no way trying to say that this list encompasses the most shocking things about parenting in general – these are my own very personal picks.

1) Feeling like a mom has been a very gradual process.  Even though I had eight-ish months to get used to the idea of becoming a mom and felt a profound sense of responsibility, connection, and love from the moment my daughter was born, I am still getting used to the role.  I still feel like myself, but I am also finding out that Emily plus baby equals more than the sum of the parts, and I am continuing to discover who that person is.

The Track

Apr 14, 2014 by

Walking is my exercise of choice.  I have finally reached this conclusion after coming to terms with the fact that I can’t afford (and am maybe a little too embarrassed) to figure skate anymore, I’m not a runner (though I once hilariously convinced myself otherwise for the better part of a year), and group classes are just not for me (choreography with strangers – UGH).  There is a problem with this, though: I only really like to walk outside.  Living in Connecticut, this clearly means that I alternate between being a couch potato and suffering at the gym for many months out of the year.  Walkability was actually a big draw for us when we bought our house last spring.  We loved the idea of living in a quiet, adorable neighborhood with sidewalks that actually lead to things.

Pregnancy is Super Weird and Pretty Neat

Apr 7, 2014 by

27 weeks with mime

Here’s me – 27 weeks pregnant with my first and posing on the streets of downtown Hartford with a mime. Now that’s weird.

Let me start out by saying I’m not pregnant. I had what might have been a kidney stone and a subsequent ultrasound last week so I know there’s nothing in there. Trust me, I was sure to ask. And although I’ve been on the fence about a third in the past, I think I’ve pretty much decided two kids is the number of kids I can sanely handle. That being said, I still get all verklempt when I see a pregnant lady walking around. I have to restrain myself from running up to her, hugging her and telling her how it ‘s the most amazing thing she’ll ever do. And also, I want to shake her and ask her what she thinks she’s doing?! Doesn’t she know this is the hardest thing she’ll ever do? Is she spending lots of time with her spouse? She should. She really should. Like. Right. NOW. Seriously, why is she shopping for baby stuff when she could be on a date with her husband with no children? Or sleeping, or reading, or watching something rated PG-13 on TV during the day?

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