My Sage

Jul 29, 2014 by

With a diagnosis of Autism we wondered what we might do to help “treat” you or lessen the “symptoms.”  You showed us with your love of life and your buoyancy through tough moments that you didn’t need changing. We read stories from parents, from adults and teens with Autism, from professionals, and we wondered if we could lessen your pain, since it seems to permeate so many stories we heard.  Your smile and your laughter assured us that you are not their stories, but your own; full of delight, wonder and joy. I wanted to coax you out of your shell as if you were a turtle, and you showed me that you are a lion – r-o-a-r, a ballerina, and a superhero, but a turtle you have never been. 2014-07-20 13.23.29 I wanted to introduce you to life, instead you brought me to mine. On a slow hike through the woods you find the letters “F” and the “Y” in the sticks and leaves you bring me to hold.

Remember to Breathe

Jul 15, 2014 by

School letting out for the summer is magical for a spell.  For a week or so, we don’t care about their 20 minutes of reading.  We survived, they survived.  For a bit, we don’t have to wake at the crack-of-dawn, we can wait until the crack-of-dawn-thirty.  No lunches (until camp and summer school begins), no more homework.  For a quick spell, we all feel accomplished.  “Another year… gone!” (Albus Dumbledore in the Sorcerer’s Stone).

sage big kid bus

This year-end brought particular relief and enthusiasm as our little girl successfully completed kindergarten, in a mainstream classroom, with extra support.  After we watched what Noah went through in Kindergarten we were a bit nervous terrified.  Yet, she made it.

Light it Up Blue

Apr 1, 2014 by

April 2nd is Autism Awareness Day, but I have little to say about Autism.  It’s not that I haven’t been thinking about it.  I even remembered to order the solar-powered blue lights, though at this point I realize I ordered them a bit late for the “solar” part of the “powered” to kick in for the 2nd.  While tomorrow is Autism Awareness Day, today is April Fools’ Day, and often I feel my life is much more comical than serious.  Autism sounds so serious.

Autism Awareness Day

Autism Awareness Day

At times it is truly difficult.  But over the past several days, as I’m getting this blog ready in my head to share with all of you the statistical significance of 1 in 88 (though now CDC theorizes 1 in 68), I just kept catching myself laughing, and sinking in.

A Short Note on Appreciating What You Have as a Parent.

Mar 7, 2014 by

I have a new job, which means I have been plunked down into someone else’s office in a new work environment with its own culture.  It’s incredible.  This is where I am meant to be, and that feels really good.

I work in a law office that represents parents of special needs kids, and guess what that means?  A good number of the staff here (we’re a small office, but let’s call it 50%) are also parents of special needs kids; some now adults, some still going through the public school system.

I am nothing short of amazed at how hard parents of kids with learning challenges, physical impairments, or mental health needs, to name just a few types of disabilities, need to work not just to advocate for their own children, but to make it through the day.  Every day.

The Gift of Acceptance

Jan 14, 2014 by

When I began dating my wife, I used to call her a “triple threat.”  Triple Threat, for those of you unaware, is the basketball term for when someone receives the ball when close enough to the hoop to have three choices the opposing team needs to defend against.  They can shoot, dribble, or pass.  My wife is a black, gay, female: three categories of oppression rolled into one dynamite (and beautiful) package.  Triple Threat.  While I say it in some jest, there is truth under the humor.  Yet, with the truth of oppression is loneliness, fear, mistrust, fatigue, among other things.

As our family grows and blossoms, our status as a “triple threat” persists, though perhaps “threat” does not capture it.  We are an interracial lesbian couple with biracial children and we have a daughter with special needs.  There are many gifts and blessings within our family, as well as gifts and blessings bestowed.  Yet we have our challenges.

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