My life is REALLY over now: Part 23948732

Dec 8, 2014 by

Have you ever noticed how much people delight in telling you, “Your life is REALLY over now!” once you become a parent?  Scratch that – it actually starts in pregnancy.  Any happy news, any milestone or new skill, people are just foaming at the mouth to let you know how much your life is about to start sucking.

“I’m pregnant!”

“Your life is REALLY over now!”

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“I had my baby!”

“Your life is REALLY over now!”

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“My baby’s rolling over!”

“Your life is REALLY over now!”

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“My baby eats solid food!”

“Your life is REALLY over now!”

 *

“My baby’s crawling!”

“Your life is REALLY over now!”

 *

“My baby said her first word!”

“Your life is REALLY over now!”

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How my work review should really go…

Sep 12, 2014 by

It is that time again ladies! It is mid year review time. I personally have never been a huge fan of reviews. I understand why we have them and why they are important but nonetheless I get weirded out by flashing my accomplishments and of course my shortcomings on paper to talk about over and over again.

As I was working on my current one, I realized that the review itself does not really depict my whole self and how HARD I really work, especially as a working mother.  I keep my whole review one sided, never bringing in the struggles that I battle at home on a daily basis.

So when I state that I closed a huge deal with a client I should have added that I did it on the last day before my due date, extremely fucking pregnant and miserable. I was able to pull this deal through with hips that felt like they were cracking and a bladder the size of a peanut. I did not waiver in my loyalty to work even though I hadn’t seen my toes in months.

I’m ALIVE….

Aug 22, 2014 by

Can I tell you ladies why I am so freaking happy right now that I could scream?! I am literally beaming from ear to ear.

Take a guess?

Did I win the Lottery?

NOPE

Did I get a promotion at work?

NOPE

Did I suddenly lose 20 pounds by eating ice cream?

I WISH!

No ladies the biggest accomplishment for a mother with a baby occurred in the last week.

MY DAUGHTER IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!

This is the moment that angels sung and a world celebration started to begin.

HAPPY DANCE for this lady!

HAPPY DANCE for this lady!

Mommy Mush Brain

Jun 27, 2014 by

Before kids I was the most organized, put together, type A person you could meet. I was the organizer of social calenders, always early on work projects and never missed a deadline.

Fast forward to today.

I CAN”T REMEMBER ANYTHING!

I have dubbed this condition “Mommy Mush Brain

I have literally forgotten a simple thought two seconds after having it. I have done the classic go to get something from another room and forget what said thing is when I get there.

I have forgotten weekend plans, then see the reminder pop up on my phone an hour before and scramble to get the kids, and a gift for the party.

I have forgotten to tuck my boob back into my bra…as any normal person knows flashing is unacceptable. I would like to apologize to my neighbors.

Is Will Smith causing my memory loss?

Is Will Smith causing my memory loss?

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