Working It Out

Aug 20, 2015 by

Last fall, six months after returning from maternity leave, I asked to be considered for a new position at my work. The decision to do so was one that came with some hesitation. Whereas my previous role required little deviation from the standard daytime hours, this new one would require many working nights and occasional trips overnight. The immediate thoughts that popped into my head were telling me this new job was a bad idea:

• How could I even consider such a move with a baby who wasn’t yet a year old and a schedule for our stepchildren that had my husband driving all over for soccer games, school dances, group projects, etc.?
• I should be home every night and all weekend to spend the little free time I have with my child.
• My daughter will grow up resenting me even more now.
YOU ARE BEING SELFISH AT A TIME WHEN YOU SHOULD BE SELFLESS!

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Parenting Personalities: Type A vs. Type B

Jul 23, 2015 by

When I became a mother in late 2013, my husband already had ten years of being a dad behind him. On top of this experience are our vastly different personalities. I am a pretty classic Type-A person: anxious, impatient, achievement-oriented, perfectionist, and a tendency towards “worst-case scenario” thoughts. My husband is very Type-B: low stress, relaxed, patient, and a bit of a procrastinator. One of his favorite sayings is “I don’t worry about something until there is something to worry about.” Not only do I not understand this mentality, it drives me crazy that he can fully embrace it while I have devoted hours, weeks, months, of my life to worrying. I have it down to an art.

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Trying Too Hard

Jul 22, 2015 by

I have recently been accused of trying too hard. Trying too hard to be the perfect mom.

It stung me like a punch in the stomach.

It hurt like I don’t know what.

To my core. To my entire being.

I could feel the tears come, as I defended myself, saying it was my job, my responsibility to be the best mom I could be, and trying is something I just do. I turned away and walked into another room.

This happened exactly nine days ago (well nine nights ago to be exact) and it still bothers me.

The person who made this statement happens to be a close family relative, not some stranger on the street, not another mom, not just an acquaintance I know casually. Someone who has seen me and come to know me raise my children for the past twelve years. And it wasn’t so much a statement as an accusation. And boy did it hurt, continues to hurt.

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Motherhood Destroys Modesty…

Jul 10, 2015 by

During your life you are taught from a young age to have modesty or some boundaries of privacy. You cover yourself properly, and try to not share private things or parts with anyone. I remember being a little scared to dress into gym clothes freshman year when my non-existent boobs started to bloom. Now do not get me wrong I am not the most modest person in the world by any means, but I did have some that is until….

UNTIL I HAD MY CHILDREN!

I went from caring about the boundaries society has deemed appropriate to not giving a flying fuck.

To non-mothers I am going to break down how the adventure of pregnancy to children will smash any modesty or shame you feel about your private parts accidentally flying out for the world to see and how mothers come to be there.

1. Pregnancy:

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One Year In

Mar 9, 2015 by

The last couple of years have been super nostalgic ones for me; I feel like I’m constantly celebrating silly anniversaries.  The day I found out I was pregnant, the day I told my family I was pregnant, the day I found out I was having a girl… My brain is already so full that sometimes I wish that I could shake my head around and some of this stuff would fall out.  But I celebrated one this past week that was actually pretty big.  It was my anniversary of becoming a working mom.  It was the light at the end of the tunnel of a short four months home – except I didn’t know whether the light I was seeing was daylight or a runaway train barreling toward me.

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