Prioritizing Parenthood

Oct 23, 2015 by

That moment you realize you’ve already written the blog post you were just sitting down to write.

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I have a tendency to focus very single-mindedly on whatever it is I’m occupied with in the moment.  That can be good or bad.  It’s good not to multitask, because multitasking is really just rapid-fire singletasking a number of things, poorly.  So it’s good to shut out distractions and focus on the one more important thing you need to do in the moment.  But hyperfocusing on one thing can be bad, because you can lose track of time and forget to shift to other, also important tasks.  It can also make you lose sight of the bigger picture:  how does this task serve your ultimate goal or overall purpose, whatever it is?  Do you even know what your goal or purpose is?  You may be hyperfocusing on the wrong task, after all.  And that means your efforts are being wasted somewhat, because even if there is massive value in completing the wrong task, you are missing out on the greater value of completing the right one.

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Mommy Meltdown

Oct 16, 2015 by

Last Sunday was one of those glorious fall New England days that serves as a cruel lead-in to the dark, cold and snowy ones which will soon descend upon us. It was also the day that I felt like I was circling the drain as a parent and allowed myself a good, hard cry alone in my room. It was one of those cries where your whole body shudders and your face looks swollen and puffy for hours afterward.

How did I end up in such a state on a fine autumn day? First off, I wasn’t feeling great all weekend. It started Friday morning with a sore throat and headache, and kept manifesting itself in various ways over the course of the weekend. Welcome back season of mysterious viruses! I expected having a kid in daycare would come with the usual passing on of colds, stomach bugs, etc. but I have been surprised by the number of vague, ‘feeling crappy’ viruses that my husband and I have endured over the last two years. And I have gotten hand, foot, mouth virus twice now – both times my daughter has gotten it. That hasn’t been fun. Anyway, back to this weekend. I was feeling off so it was the perfect time for my daughter’s “terrible two’s” to start kicking into high gear. She will be two next month and this weekend she unleashed the perfect storm of bossiness, temper tantrums, and clinginess that have been percolating up until now. I am home on Fridays with her so from Friday morning through my own meltdown on Sunday afternoon, my daughter wanted me holding her or at her side AT ALL TIMES. My husband’s efforts at distracting her with games, books, etc. were of zero interest. “Mommy do it!” was her phrase of the weekend, often said with a scream and tears. He had to take her across the street to the park at one point so that I could start a crock pot for dinner without her clinging to my leg.

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Traveling Light

Sep 17, 2015 by

By the time you are reading this, my husband and I are on our way to our five-year anniversary trip to Seattle and Portland. These two cities have long been on our “must-see” list. I have been to California several times but never further north than San Francisco. My husband has been as far west as Colorado. Having had children in our lives since the day we got married, my stepchildren were almost 7 at the time, we really wanted to make a five-year, adults-only vacation happen for ourselves. So, after cobbling together some savings and using up many years of credit card travel points, we were able to make this trip a reality without going overboard on cost.

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Things NOT to Say to a Working Mom

Sep 16, 2015 by

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For the most part, I enjoy being a work-outside-of-the-home mom.  I am satisfied with my career.  It may not be my ultimate dream job but until someone will pay me to eat food and read books (preferably in a tropical climate), it is just fine.  There have been a few times though when someone made a comment with (most likely) good-intentions that made me cringe.  At the time, I smiled and nodded and responded with the appropriate polite remark, but nonetheless their words stung.  Here are a few things people have said to me that struck a nerve, and what I really wanted to say in response:

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Why Raising a Toddler is Like Living in the Movie Groundhog Day

Aug 5, 2015 by

The Bill Murray film Groundhog Day came out in 1993, a month prior to my 15th birthday. I remember for my “friend party” that year, my parents dropped a bunch of my girlfriends and me off at the area movie theater to take in this comedy. Through the years I have had many friends who have quoted and talked about their love for this film. The movie never really resonated with me (my 90’s comedy favorites skew more toward the Adam Sandler/Chris Farley/David Spade canon) but lately I feel like I could be a supporting character in this movie. Life with a toddler = days filled with much of the same as the day before.

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