In Need of a Chill Pill

3 comments

For the past month or so I’ve been noticing that I’m comparing my 7 month old baby’s development to lots of other babies in her age range, and it’s driving me nutty. I look at these other babies and wonder if mine is behind. She sits up but you still have to watch her because she falls backwards, she’s not crawling, has no teeth, doesn’t understand clapping things together and is perfectly content rolling around and occasionally licking the hardwood floor.

What she is however is loveable, loving, happy, a ham, bright-eyed, snuggly and just all around awesome. Why do I keep torturing myself by comparing her to other babies? I know I need to stop but it’s hard to see other babies that are the same age that are doing so much more! I know babies develop in their own timeframe and I’m sure nothing is wrong (sort-of).

What is going on with me? I keep worrying that she’s behind, which rationally I know is ridiculous but emotionally I find myself having anxiety about it.

I am in need of support!!

3 comments on “In Need of a Chill Pill”

  1. If it makes you feel better, my 7 month old is not crawling, has no teeth, and doesn’t clap things together either. My husband watches her during the day and we’re not in any mommy & me groups, so I have no idea what other 7 month olds are doing.

  2. (HUGS) Michelle! I agree with what Kris-Ann said in trusting your Mama instinct. Deep down you know if there’s something to be concerned about or if it’s just mama paranoia.

    I must say that our culture/society and even “well-baby-visits” have set us up for that sort of comparison and anxiety ~ so it’s next to impossible NOT to compare. And THAT is really the problem, right? Personally ~ and I know others don’t agree ~ I don’t do the well-baby-visits because I feel it robs a Mama of her intuition and her knowingness. And frankly, if my baby looks and acts healthy then I don’t give a flying flip where he is on any of those damn charts!

    Your little Lillsy seems like a healthy, happy baby ~ and as Kris-Ann said they all develop at their own rate. I have a friend who’s babies didn’t walk until they were 18 months old ~ and both are perfectly wonderful! My niece didn’t get her first teeth until she was a year old (and they say the later you get teeth, the healthier they are!). Some babies don’t really crawl at all and just go straight to walking. There are all sorts of variations of “normal”.

    My best advice is to not listen to anyone else but yourself! And let your daughter guide you. When I’m in doubt about my children not “being up to speed” (which I admit happens often as a homeschooler!) I just affirm “I trust my children.” This changes my worry to a certainty that they are going at the pace that is fully appropriate for them. Love to you, Sister!

  3. Michelle, it’s so hard not to compare. I actually stopped going on Facebook for several months because I was driving myself crazy comparing myself to everyone else. I’ve learned two very important things through my experiences with Max. 1. Every child develops at his/her own rate. They may catch up eventually or they may not. Talk to your pedi about your concerns. HOWEVER 2. if your gut is telling your there is something wrong, if something just doesn’t feel right and you sense it’s beyond just comparing to other kids, talk to your pediatrician. He/she may think you’re crazy but keep asking the questions until you are reassured or start to see a change in your daughter. I received those Babycenter updates telling you what your child should be doing and that tipped me off to the fact that something wasn’t right. Don’t just consider yourself a paranoid first time mom…while that may be the case :), there may be something else to it. Trust me, I’ve been there.

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