By I had this dream that when I had my children I was just going to want to be with them, and I wouldn’t want to work. And that was sort of this ideal, in a way, based on nothing, because my mom always worked. I had this dream that somehow I’d be so fulfilled, and I wouldn’t need to work. I bought into this ideal that one should just stay home and be with one’s children, that that should be enough.
It’s taken me a really long time to embrace my ambition and to embrace my need to express myself and to accept it in a loving way as part of who I am instead of putting myself down for it. While I was home a great deal, I was working sometimes, and I always had a lot of guilt about that. I gave myself an incredibly hard time about work.
And if there’s anything I wish I could look back on and change about my life, it’s that I wish I hadn’t given myself such a hard time. – Kyra Sedgwick
WOW!! Took the feelings right out of my mouth. I have struggled with this for many years, my oldest being 9 and youngest 20 months, and 2 boys 5 and 7. I recenty went back to work full time and love my job. I stuggled with the idea I wouldnt be home all day with the baby as I was with the older 3 when they were little. I spent many days and nights beating myself up about it but recently realized what a better mother I have become since going back to work. Dont get me wrong, its not easy working full time but somehow I have found a balance between work, home and the kids. I enjoy my job and proud of the work I do, my kids can benefit from that. I now realize what people meant when they said “its not the quantity of time you spend with your kids but the quality of it”……
So glad you related to this! A happy momma means happy kids, at least I like to this so!