How many women out there over their childhood and teenage years told their mother “You don’t get it MOM!” or “You will never understand MOM” or maybe the occasional ” You’re ruining my life MOM!” I cringe at the idea of the things I said. Do not get me wrong I was a pretty good kid and did not give my mother too many problems but I look back at my life and you know what?
I WAS WRONG AND MY MOM WAS RIGHT ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS!
I remember telling her that the loser art boy I had a crush on was going to marry me, and I would never be like her. Well I have had a child now and all I want to do is apologize over and over. I have and will continue to say sorry and have realized that she is a very wise woman. I look at her and see that she is still married after 37 years and survived 4 daughters! We all are extremely close and have grown into self-sustaining adults who are not a threat to society (my husband would maybe disagree). All of these things I hope and pray for not only my marriage but also my children. So I have decided to open my ears and listen to her advice. It started before I got married and has continued and so far none of it has steered me wrong.
So I am going to share some of her wisdom that has led to her successes and hopefully mine.
“Before you marry anybody you and your partner need to look at each other very honestly and look at each others’ flaws. If you can compound it by ten and live with that everyday you will survive.”
“Real love is not fairy tales like it is in the novels. Real love is when your partner is standing on the edge of a cliff and you are so mad at them and all you want to do is push them and you don’t. (You can only hate someone that much who you care about 🙂 That is true love.”
“You and your partner will not always like each other. When you are talking about marriage and how long it can last it is impossible to not have problems and flat-out hate each other every once in a while. With that said it usually comes around back to love if you work at it.”
“A compliment can go a long way so give them out when you can.”
“Never allow someone to treat you badly even your boss. With the same token treat everyone with respect.”
“Always work hard on your career but work hard on your family and marriage too!”
“The larger the family the tighter the rein.”
“Never fight in front of your children. They will never understand the complexities of an adult relationship.”
“Self confidence and coping skills are the best gifts you can give your children. This is given by allowing your children to make mistakes no matter how hard it is to see them struggle (Kids are way more resilient than we give them credit for).”
“When you have your first child you have them sleep right next to your bed, your second across the room, the third the next room over, the fourth sleeps in the room down the hall. What you realize over time is you are a mother and that baby could be in the basement and you will always hear the cry.”
“No mother is perfect so stop trying.”
“Wine can solve most problems.”
My parents were never perfect and not rich but I never wanted for love and hope and pray I can be half the parents my parents were. So I will actually listen now and instead of telling my mom “You ruined my life MOM!” I will now yell at her “You made my life wonderful!”
I am taking my mother’s advice and the advice of my other wonderful working moms on this blog and in my life (Things I’ve learned) to help me as a wife, mother and woman.
Do you have any gems you want to share?