Weekends without Husband’s Help

8 comments

First and foremost I have a message to single mothers and that is:  I don’t know how you work full-time, possibly even with multiple jobs and still make time to be an amazing mother. Cheers to you.

During the month of October my husband is gone every weekend at a special rescue training course for firemen.  I’ve known about this for over a year and while I thought being with a five month old on the weekends by myself would be tolerable, I now see otherwise.

From refusing to take naps, to trying to cook, clean and go on errands in between, being the sole person on the weekends with your child is hard and a lot of work. I know I am preaching to the choir on this, but wow it can be draining by lunchtime.

After this past weekend I’ve thought to myself, how do single moms do it? Or, how do married moms do it when their husband works third shift or on the weekends? I guess I haven’t fully appreciated the great work my husband does until he isn’t around to help.

For all the moms out there who are either single or have a husband who has a hectic work schedule, tell me – how do you balance? How do you juggle? When do you find time to yourself?

Here’s a quote to leave you with, “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.” -W.R. Wallace

 

8 comments on “Weekends without Husband’s Help”

  1. Like some of the other commenters here, my husband is also in the military. Right now he’s not deployed, but he’s still required to do his 1 weekend a month (he’s national guard) which for his unit is Friday through Sunday each month and it’s overnight. He’s also been away for schools since our daughter was born along with his annual trainings. We haven’t gone through a deployment since she was born, but that’ll be coming up soon too. I find routine, routine, routine is key. I keep up the same routine when he’s gone, as I do when he’s here. I don’t worry as much about what I’ve cleaned or accomplished when he’s not there either, a lot gets done after she’s in bed for the night or if she sleeps late (hah!) it gets done before she gets up. The toys are always on the floor because I’m the only one tripping over them! She’s only 18 months right now as well, so she’s aware he’s not there, but at the same time, she doesn’t get it. So, I don’t notice any behavior changes with her when he’s not home. Yet. Just hang in there and try to accept that it’s ok to not be perfect, to not shower on Sunday morning. Or all weekend. To give grilled cheese for dinner or chicken nuggets. Without vegetables. To hit play on Barney just ONE more time. To let her wear a ketchup stained shirt to the grocery store because you are just not going to put one more outfit on her that day. To just say screw it and order delivery Chinese food. No one’s perfect, but as long as they’re happy, content and life’s continuing somewhat as normal? I’d say everything’s good. 🙂

    1. Hi Becky – thank you for writing. Yes, you are right routine is key and sometimes chinese food is all you want after a long day and there is nothing wrong with it. I personally feel that woman who try to do it all, aren’t as successful as women who do their best at the things that are most important. I wish you and your family nothing but the best and keep on! 🙂

  2. My husband works three jobs to support us and so is not home very often. He has actually cut back and so is home a few evenings and Saturday morning unless there is an accident or bad weather. During the winter he does snow removal and so will literally be gone for days at a time. It is exhausting for both of us because this means I handle our four kids seven and under, everything at school and home and I also care for my niece full time during the week while he works constantly. I wish I had some words of wisdom, some advice but I don’t. It is difficult and exhausting, I never feel like I am balancing everything well there is always at least one aspect that is suffering. Today I had to get our grass cut and the kids rooms done so now at the end of the night the rest of my house is a wreck and I have a mound of laundry. On school nights helping the kids with their homework, picking them up from lessons and getting them fed and bathed takes priority so a lot of times I have to get up early to clean and do the dishes from the night before. Sometimes on rainy days or on a weekend in order to get things done I let them play themselves or watch a movie and then feel awful because I have not spent time with them and done nothing fun. I worry that my kids will only remember a tired, stressed out mom. Don’t even get me started on dealing with the ignorant comments and attitudes from people about the hard working man who’s lazy wife is just sitting on her butt all day with no job! I remind myself I am lucky that I have a great husband who is here at least some of the time. He was in the military, luckily after we had children he was never deployed only here in the states for short term things and I have so much respect for the military wives out there as well as the single mothers. I guess I just try to do the best I can and make the most of the time we do have together as a family and hope that our kids will see how hard we try for them.

    1. Hi Christina- thank you for sharing your life with us in your comments. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it must be for you. You are much stronger and braver than you think and your children will see through your actions just how dedicated you are as a mother and how much work goes into caring and running a household. Cheers to you!

  3. My husband is deployed right now (on a submarine, so we don’t even have the ability to communicate). It is just me, our 15 month old, and the dog. You just do what you have to do, and things that can wait – certainly don’t get done. I haven’t figured out how to mow our acre of lawn with just me and the baby here, haven’t figured out a good way to get the trash to the dump, have certainly gone to bed with toys all over the house every night, and I probably shower twice a week (maybe?) Haha.

    1. Hi Andretta- thanks for writing in and it sounds like you are very busy, but handling it as well as you can. An acre of land to mow? Taking trash to a dump instead of at your curb? You go girl! 🙂

    2. Hi Andretta, my husband is also deployed to Afghanistan for a year and I am here with two lovely little girls. Today my job calls to say I can no longer work from home so I need to let them know by Monday what my plans are or else we will have to part ways.

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