I believe that all our happiness comes from within. I believe that we are the only ones that can create or destroy our happiness. It all comes from our minds – what we think about ourselves, about others and about our lives.
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’ve had a life-long struggle with anxiety. It wasn’t until recently that I began to really understand that I was causing my own anxiety by the way I thought about things.
I’ve also been discovering that with this belief that I control my own happiness comes the realization that I can’t be attached to other people or material things. What I mean by that is I can’t allow my happiness to be dependent upon outside forces because if I do, I won’t have lasting happiness. Happiness will be fleeting and completely dependent upon the moods of the people around me, how much money I have at the moment, whether my car is or isn’t functioning properly and so on. And honestly, that’s how I’ve been operating my whole life until a few months ago.
As a mom, I often find myself thinking about how my daughter impacts my happiness. She brings me great joy and at times also causes me to feel frustrated and even sad. A while back I wrote a post here called When Your Child Prefers Dad because I was so sad that my daughter reaches out to my husband when she gets hurt, wants him to watch Sesame Street with her and clearly has an overall preference for him. What I’m learning now is that if I keep letting myself be attached to her moods and her preferences I’m going to always teeter between happy and upset. And I want to be happy, all the time, who doesn’t?
So I’ve begun on this interesting path of figuring out how to not let other people, even my own child and family, impact my happiness. It’s hard, that’s for sure, and some days I’m better at it than others. But it feels good to be on this path and I think that I’ll be an even better mom to my daughter because of it.