Hitting Walls


Like most working moms, I work all the time – even when I’m not working, I’m working.   As the political director for a regional union this past election season was one of the most important of my career, so no amount of work was too much.   But 6 weeks later and the initial excitement over, I have hit a wall – many walls in fact.

Anyone who has ever run a campaign or coordinated a big project knows that for a finite period of time generally with a  pre-determined end date you eat like crap – cupcakes for breakfast, skipped lunch, a Diet coke for dinner with bad Chinese food from the container – exercise intermittently if at all – random midnight runs, 5 a.m. swims or the proverbial trip to the gym when the alternative is losing your shit on someone or something – and “alone time” to talk to friends and family is when you are going to the bathroom (just hit mute when you flush) because it’s the only time you can actually be alone.

And, on that pre-determined end date, you either win or lose.  If you win, you are ecstatic and exhausted.  If you lose you are depressed and exhausted – exhausted being the common denominator.

So the past couple of weeks I have hit many walls where I find myself staring into space, unmotivated, not driven, tired, bored and aimless.  So I thought I’d share some of my “walls.”

My “there’s never anything to eat in this house” wall.

My “what on-line shopping site can I visit today” wall.

My “can I just take another nap” wall.

My “Lumbar yoga stretch”  wall.

My “what mindless show is on TV” or “Is Elf on yet?” wall.

My “Don’t bug me” or “man I need a manicure” wall.

My “I need another picture for my wall if I’m going to keep staring at it” wall.

And I wait, for divine inspiration to strike or the next campaign or project to hit.  In the meantime, I will take next week off and continue to reconnect with my partner, my daughters, my friends (both old and new), my family, my dog and myself.  And come back in 2013 ready to win – or lose – as the case may be, but always striving to do my best.

2 comments on “Hitting Walls”

  1. I hear this completely! I have three daughters (4.5 and twin 19 month olds) and a son on the way. Last week I saw my kids for three hours from a Sunday to Thursday stretch and at the end of that stretch I came home to sick kids that I didn’t even know had a cold. I hit my wall that day. I’ve cried everyday since. I know something has to change but no comfortable option is finding it’s way to me, and no leap seems secure enough to have faith in. Thanks for this. If nothing else I know that I’m not alone…and I PRAY! A lot!

  2. Oh Bev I remember very well the ups the downs the fatigue and the not giving a shit. Raising children and working umpty ump hours outside the home is almost more than one can handle…even if that one is a woman. I guess I could encourage you by saying “be grateful you don’t have a drunk in the house getting in the way.” but I won’t.

    Schedule some alone time just like you schedule everything else to fit it in. It is very important. Stop and remember that you are loved…not by just a few but by many….and for God’s sake laugh every change you get. Love Aunt Laurie

Share Some Comment Love

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s