People Say the Darndest Things to Parents of Multiples

12 comments

Guest Post Written by Alison Welles

My fraternal boy/boy twins were born in June and since then we can’t go anywhere without causing a ruckus. My husband and I call it our personal two ring circus. These little guys are adorable, sweet and flirtatious. They catch the eye of every little old lady, 5-year-old girl and anyone in between! We’ve heard many comments in the past 6 months but here are some of my favorites:

“Oh my gosh! There are two?” – I’m not sure if this is because of the stroller we have (which is a double-decker as opposed to a side by side) or just that people aren’t used to seeing twins. My husband jokes that one day he’s going to respond with “what?? where did that one come from??” A close second to this one is “Are they twins?” I still giggle to myself about how to answer this question as they are obviously both the same size.

“Did you know you were having twins?” – The short answer is always “yes” but let’s think about this for a minute. I understand that as little as 20 years ago a woman may not know she was having twins but unless you are one of those crazy women on “I didn’t know I was pregnant” (really? Who believes them?) you know you’re having twins.

“Two for the price of one!” – While it may be economical to try to fit two babies into one diaper, the results get pretty messy. There are very few things that you save money on with twins. In fact, you spend more on most things because you have to buy in duplicate instead of being able to reuse it the second time around. For example, we have two bouncy chairs. Most people can have one and it will get them through all of their children. We have to have four car seats. You get the point.

“Do twins run in your family?” – I am a very open person and I have no problem talking to my friends about the 2 year fertility struggle my husband and I have. That doesn’t mean I’m about to discuss the intimate details of my pregnancy with a stranger. I’ve started simply saying no and smiling.

“God bless you.” – My family is from the South, and in the South “God bless her”, “God love her” or any other variant of “God ____ her” is equivalent to saying “you poor woman.” It cracks me up but we hear it all the time!

“How do you do it?” – Honestly, we don’t know anything different and we make stuff up as we go. We plow through it and make it happen like we do everything else in our lives.

“They are beautiful, you are so blessed.” – This is my favorite comment and I agree with both parts of it!

All of these situations are harmless and at the least humorous. It does get a little old to answer the same things over and over again, and some days my husband and I just aren’t in the mood so on those days we stay home because we know what happens when we take our two ring circus on the road. It takes us a minimum of an extra thirty to sixty minutes to get anything done with the boys in tow because of people’s comments.

That being said, there is another down side to having multiples in public. One of my fellow MoMs (Mom of Multiples) has triplets and she has said that people will take out their cell phones and take pictures of her kids without her permission. That is just so offensive. My kids are not a side-show and they don’t deserve to be treated as such. This is an invasion of privacy that is unacceptable. My husband has literally been pushed away from our stroller for a woman and her daughter to get a better look at our boys. Again, this is an unacceptable behavior.

Being a parent of a set of multiples is a special job and we are just as, if not more so, protective of our children’s privacy because they don’t have much of it. So ask all you want, ask before touching, like you would any other baby and keep telling those parents of multiples that they are blessed, because we are. Doubly, triply and beyond!

Alison Welles  has been married to her husband, Brett, for 3 ½ years, and is mom to 6 month old twin boys, Cody and Zachary. She works full-time outside of the home. She loves to spend time with her family, cook, read (although she says she hasn’t actually finished a book in 6 months!), write and is seriously addicted to Pinterest. Allison says, “being a mom is exciting, trying, emotional and fun and being a working mom for me means that I have even more to balance, especially within myself.”

12 comments on “People Say the Darndest Things to Parents of Multiples”

  1. I’m an identical twin and I get these comments and questions to this day! Sometimes I still don’t know how to answer them, it gets so tiring! Your boys are lucky to have each other, though. They’ll have a best friend for life!

  2. great post! My girls are exactly 12 months apart and we get a lot of the same questions…especially the “oh! there are two!”…who knew that was such a common thing for people to say??

  3. Great post! I, myself, am a twin and have a twin brother. My favorite question that I am asked after I tell people that I have a twin BROTHER: “Are you identical?” I am always half tempted to ask back, “Did you take biology?”

  4. I love that you offered advice for what TO say to parents of multiples! People feel the need to comment on everything it seems, so at least the idea of saying how doubly blessed you are gives people an idea of a GOOD comment to make!

  5. Nice! I’ve never thought of some of these comments and it cracks me up to read them but you’re right, it would get annoying after a while. I can’t believe how people feel like it’s okay to touch and photograph other people’s kids! Even when I’m photographing my own kids at the park, I make it obvious that I’m trying not to get other kids in the pics and will pause and wait for a moment when the background is clear or I’ll say something to other parents like, “I promise not to get your kids!” People just have bad manners nowadays. Good post!

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