True Confessions – Michelle

21 comments

Everyone loves some good confessions, right? Interestingly CTWM’s Confess It page is our most popular page (and boy, is it stocked with goodies). It was even recently featured over at HLN!

Every now and again the CTWM bloggers love to do a blog series where we all write about the same topic. I’m kicking off a week of True Confessions – parenting style! Next week many of my bloggers will join in the fun with their own True Confessions posts so stay tuned.

While coming clean with parenting confessions is fun, I also think that it goes a long way toward normalizing things. Sometimes we think we are the only one who feels a certain way or who has thought a certain thought, and to find out that other moms feel the same way we do can be a huge source of comfort. So enjoy our week of confessions and feel free to add yours anytime!

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My parenting-related confessions:

1. I had a mental breakdown after the birth of my child (because of a traumatic birth experience). Like a full on, had to go to the ER for help kind of breakdown. It was the worst thing that’s happened to me in my life.

2. I clearly remember breastfeeding my daughter and having this intense desire to get her off of me. I know that sounds horrible and it still haunts me that I felt that way. Needless to say, breastfeeding ended that day. (This happened at the same time as my above-mentioned breakdown.)

3. I really like being a working mom. I am not cut out to stay at home. Props to the stay-at-home moms though; I honestly think that’s the hardest job.

4. I am an introverted person and so taking my daughter out to museums where I have to interact with parents I don’t know makes me a little anxious.

5. I love to take days off from work every now and then, leave my daughter in daycare and spend the whole day by myself at home in my pjs watching episodes of Downton Abbey, Bones or just whatever the heck I want to watch.

6. We put our daughter’s car seat facing forward before they recommend you are supposed to. They say 2 years but honestly the car seat seems much sturdier now that we turned it towards the front.

7. I often times wish it was OK to leave my daughter in the car while I run into the store. But of course it’s not and in fact I think it’s illegal. But it would be SO MUCH EASIER to get that one thing I forgot to pick up in the store if I could just run in.

8. I never realized how judgmental I was of parents until I became one and then my mind was blown. As one example, now when I see a kid having a screaming fit in Target I look at his/her mother with eyes that say, “Hey, I understand” instead of “Get your kid under control lady!”

9. My daughter has a strong connection with my husband.  While I’m much better about not letting it affect me like it used to, it still makes me sad sometimes when she goes to daddy for comfort instead of me.

10. I am a total homebody but I think I need to get out more. I feel like I have no adventure in my life.

11. Becoming a parent has been very hard on my marriage. It’s so f*cking hard to find time for each other with a baby/toddler around.

12. We are working on not letting our 19-month-old watch as much TV. She was watching maybe an hour a day and now we scaled it back to like 15 minutes. I love watching TV with her though because she’s all snuggly with me while we watch and it’s hard for me to let that go. But I have to admit we have seen some pretty immediate positive changes in her behavior (fewer tantrums, better overall attitude).

13. I wait until I get to work to enjoy my daily cup of coffee because it’s so much more enjoyable to sit at my desk quietly and not be interrupted.

14. I feel weirdly guilty about certain daycare-related things. Like I get myself all worked up during the holiday week because I’m the only parent who still brings my kid there since I don’t get time off work. I use a wonderful home-based daycare person and I constantly think she’s judging me for stuff like that even though she hasn’t said a SINGLE thing to me. Hello crazytown!

15. OMG I can’t believe I am about to admit this because it also sounds crazytown but here it is anyways:  If I do take a vaca day to just have a day off to myself, I close the blinds in the front of my house because I worry that if my daycare provider’s husband drives by he’ll see I’m home (they live 2 miles from me). I realize this is really ridiculous but I do it anyways.

16. I seriously hope my daycare provider doesn’t read this cause I’m sure she’ll think I’m nuts.

17. I’m vegan while my husband and daughter eat meat. I’m secretly hoping that once she understands that the meat used to be an animal she’ll give it up like her mama.

18. I’m starting to think I use my iPad too much in front of my little girl. She’s started yelling, “NO!” at me the second she sees me go for it. That makes me feel like crap.

19. I asked family to get my 19-month-old a Leapfrog for Christmas this year because I was getting tired of her playing games on my iPad (she’s NOT gentle with it). My iPad and cell phone are off-limits to her now.

20. I’m working on not taking an instantly irritated tone with her when she does something irritating. I want to be able to react to her calmly at all times but my goodness, it’s hard.

21. While I was home on baby duty last night (hubz was out) I watched a movie with my daughter for the snuggles even though we have a 15 minute TV rule. Sorry hubby!

I’m making myself stop there! Anyone relate to my confessions? ANYONE?!

 

21 comments on “True Confessions – Michelle”

  1. I can totally relate to a lot of these Michelle. Especially the toll parenting takes on a marriage. The midget is just so needy and demanding sometimes.

  2. Michelle, I think you are a great mom because you are so very HONEST and look at yourself with a critical eye. My parents just thoughtlessly did whatever they did and had no inkling of the effects of their actions. Your self-awareness, while it may make you question yourself too much, means you care about the outcomes and will act accordingly.

  3. Ummm, yes to all and thank you to Kate who made me feel better about the “hours of TV each day”. Sometimes I feel I may be melting my child’s brain lol.

  4. I wonder if your provider’s hubby would drive by, notice the car in the driveway, the blinds closed, and think you are running about the house nekkid!! Haha!

  5. Thanks for sharing your confessions – I love the honesty and I think it’s awesome that you take time for yourself once in awhile (and I would do the same with the blinds btw!!!)

  6. Ohhhhh #20. I do this all the time. I am terrible at not sounding annoyed. Seriously need to work on this. Actually, Nate has started saying “Are you mad at me?! Or are you just tired…” which makes me so sad! 😦

    1. Oh I hear you sister. It is so hard – my automatic reaction is an annoyed tone and changing that is taking a lot of emotional energy, but I know it will be worth it!

    2. It is your gift to Nate that he can come up with an alternative reason, other than your being mad at him. I taught my kids to ask me if I was too hot (makes me VERY crabby) or had a bad day at work, before assuming I was actually peeved at them. Of course, sometimes I really was peeved at them! But I think kids are inclined to blame themselves for every parental mood swing, so Nate’s having those alternative answers is WONDERFUL.

  7. Sister, I APPLAUD you for dropping your daughter off at daycare and taking a day for yourself! Not only do I APPLAUD you, I would LOVE to create that for myself!! You should NEVER feel guilty about that ~ taking care of YOURSELF first is the greatest gift we can give our children for SO MANY reasons! Next time you do that, keep the blinds up and swirl around and dance in your front yard. YOU DESERVE IT!!!

    P.S. My kids watch HOURS of T.V. every day. But I don’t want to confess too much since I’m up on Monday. 😉

    1. Thanks for being the person that brought true confessions to CTWM’s Kate!

      And thanks for your lovely comment. I agree, I shouldn’t feel guilty and need to work on it!

  8. Oh mama, I am so excited (and a little scared to post) for this series! I can relate to so many of the things you list here. You are one wonderful, brave mama to live your life and parent by staying true to your beliefs no matter how difficult that may be. Good job.

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