The truth shall set you free…or so it has been said.
Yeah, either that, OR it will make people think you are some kind of lunatic. Here goes.
1. I don’t always practice what I preach. For example, I have been known to snack before dinner and I sometimes have a potty mouth.
2. Before having kids, I thought that I would have to look “put together” all the time so that I wouldn’t embarrass my children. Ha! What was I thinking?! I barely have time to shower most mornings, let alone blow dry my hair and to be fair, my kids’ tantrum-ing is far more embarrassing than me wearing my slippers out in public. I have worn my slippers to pick my daughter up from preschool, BUT they are really nice slippers.
3. I have road rage…only it’s not on the streets. It’s more like aisle rage really. Basically, you better get your ass out of my way if you are leisurely strolling the aisles at Stop and Shop. I am always in a hurry and am guilty of practically running people down at the grocery to get in and get what I need as quickly as possible. I have tried to slow down and wait patiently as old ladies contemplate which type of crackers to buy but I can’t seem to help it. Sorry.
4. I have gone an entire day with my shirt on backwards without realizing it.
5. I know how to cook but most nights, dinner in our house is something quick and easy. Pasta, burgers, chicken tenders and homemade pizza are frequenters on our family menu.
6. I am a junk food junkie. I love ice cream, potato chips, sour gummy worms, donuts and pizza.
7. I like toddler tunes. I have been known to sing “Five Green and Speckled Frogs” and Laurie Berkner’s “Boots” when my daughters are not around.
8. I am so over Dora. Stop staring at me and just cross the grumpy troll’s bridge already.
9. I am a slob and by that, I mean that I am a messy eater. One of my childhood nicknames was Messy Marvin and it suited me well. Still does. I have on more than one occasion shown up at work with a dusting of powdered sugar on my coat or crumbs stuck in my scarf.
10. In the battle of Me v. Laundry, I surrender to the giant piles of dirty clothes that congregate throughout my house on a weekly basis.
11. I tend to overreact, especially when it comes to my children. My baby is screaming, he must have a cow’s milk allergy. My toddler slept in today, she is definitely coming down with something and so on and so forth.
12. My milk supply has noticeably decreased since I went back to work about a month ago and my son has been drinking more and more formula. I feel really guilty about this.
13. Speaking of guilt, I feel extremely guilty about not being able to spend as much time with my two older daughters since my son was born.
14. When my oldest daughter was 1, I put her on my lap for her first big girl slide ride but her leg got caught as we were going down the slide and she ended up with a toddler’s fracture. She couldn’t bear weight on her leg for a few weeks. This was heartbreaking and I still get upset when I think about it.
15. It sometimes bothers me that I work and other people are hanging out with my kids all day. I want to work and I like my job but it still bothers me at times.
16. I am short on patience, especially at the end of the day. There are many nights that I feel excited and relieved that it is bedtime for the kiddies.
17. In a pinch, I am not above resorting to bribery. Today, when my 2 year old refused to walk to the car as we were heading home from daycare, I finally convinced her by promising to give her fruit snacks when we got home. Double fail, I know, because not only did I positively reinforce her bad behavior but I also gave her an unhealthy snack before dinner. Sigh.
18. I have pulled over our car for an emergency “pit stop” and helped my daughter cop a squat on the side of the road (out of harms way of course).
19. When my second daughter was born and then again when my son was born, I said that I would take just as many pictures as I did of my first daughter. I try and I do take a ton of pictures of all of my kids but I definitely have the most baby pictures of my oldest daughter.
20. I tend to give my husband a hard time. I guess it is because he is the only other grown up in the house and there is nobody else to pick on, except for maybe the dog but picking on animals is just not cool. The mister is a good sport though and he just brushes it off. I am lucky to have him for sure.
21. I sometimes feel like I am losing my mind…literally. There are days when I can’t find my keys, I don’t know where I put my phone, and I can’t remember if I fed the dog. Then I find the phone but can’t remember who I was going to call and I feed the dog Breakfast #2.
Can anybody relate?