By 
Disclaimer: I love my son, husband and myself.
1. I love babies, but am not a fan of the toddler years. My son drives me nuts and I hate that he can’t reason. So as much as I want time to stop, I also want it to hurry up so I can understand what he is pointing at.
2. I HATE, HATE, HATE being pregnant! Between the puking, bloating, not being able to drink, sleep or eat sushi (in excess) it feels more like punishment than a beautiful experience.
3. I have hemorrhoids and they make me feel disgusting. I am actually meeting with a doctor to have them removed because I am so grossed out. (refer back to #2)
4. I always thought my son would get his first real cut under the care of his father, but lo and behold it was with me. Stocking holder came right down on his noggin as I looked away for a minute.
5. I sometimes lie on my back naked to see what my boobs used to look like before breastfeeding. They used to be perky and cute, now they look more like two poached eggs nailed to a board.
6. I breastfed for almost ten months. While I understand how healthy it is for my child, it was my vanity (I lost 15 lbs doing nothing) and my cheapness (formula is so damn expensive!) that kept me going.
7. I always thought I would have a daughter (I still hope to) because I am so close with my mother in my older age. I know people tell me that my son could be that close to me when he is older, but all I think is: A man calling his mother every other day is a “mama’s boy.”
8. I have at least a glass of wine every night.
9. I one time heard buzzing and thought my son was playing with my electric toothbrush….NOPE, he found my (clean) vibrator and I did not take it away since it kept him quiet and entertained for 20 mins.
10. I hope my kids inherit my husband’s amazing metabolism. I know looks are not everything but let’s be honest who doesn’t want to be able to eat anything and not gain weight?
Love this list!
Poached eggs nailed to a board! Dying!
Love your confessions. They say, “the way a man treats his mother is the way he will treat his wife.” I hope that my son will respect me and help me in my old age, but don’t expect me to cook or clean for him when he is a grown man.
You are hysterical. Great confessions.
OMG, I love you Katie! And the vibrator one is hilarious!
lol at the vibrator and eggy-boobs! I adore you, Katie S! ♡
Hahaha love it. Laughed out loud about the boob thing 🙂
That “momma’s boy” picture has me cracking up (as do several of your confessions, lol). I can say that my husband has a great relationship with his mom, but could not be considered a momma’s boy. And anytime he starts to tread that line (ie whining at her to get him a drink or something), I shut it down fast.