One Day A Snarky Lady Walked Up To Me At A Party

6 comments

One day a snarky lady walked up to me at a party and said, “Oh?! You work? That must be sooooo hard on your daughter.”

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Over the years I have built up some repellant armor to the world of snarky, mom-to-mom comments, but this one gave me pause. Did my daughter have a rough time of things because of my choice to work? I spent some time thinking about my daughter’s average day.

She wakes up when she feels like it, no alarm, no getting her out of bed.

She eats a relaxing breakfast of yogurt, french toast and cereal (yes, she usually eats three things for breakfast). Before leaving the house in the morning she has time to play in her toy room and get in a fight or two with her younger sister over who is going to be Rapunzel for the day.

She rides to school listening to her favorite songs. In my car we listen to Miranda Lambert, Taylor Swift, and Little Big Town. In my husband’s car they rock out to the “Best of Disney Princess Theme Songs.”

She gets dropped off at school at 8:45. School is filled with morning meeting, weather reports, songs, snack, an ‘essential’ (a fancy name for music, art, gym or the library,) lunch, recess, small groups, rest time and afternoon play.

At 3:45 I pick her up from school. On odd days she is happy to see me, on even days she is pissed that I came early and did not let her stay later.

We ride home together talking about her day, but lately she has been asking me to turn up the music so she can sing to her favorite songs.

When we arrive home she has a quick snack and then proceeds to play in her toy room until dinner time. On Tuesday evenings she goes to swim lessons at 6:30 (but has her suit on by 4:15 because she is so excited.)

We sit down to eat dinner as a family and have dessert.

More play time follows dinner.

At 6:45 she takes a bath, puts on her pajamas, cuddles up on the couch with her bowl of fruit salad to watch a show.

At 7:30 she wanders up to her bedroom, picks out her outfit for the following day (we are currently on a dress, pant, pant, dress rotation, in an attempt to keep things balanced.) We snuggle into bed around 7:45 read two books (she is on a sight word kick lately) and then she falls asleep.

My daughter is a happy, independent, balanced, and healthy child.

What do you think? I think my daughter has an awesome schedule. So is my working hard on her? No. As a working mother do not ever let anyone else make you feel guilty or con you into believing that your choice to work is hard on your child.

6 comments on “One Day A Snarky Lady Walked Up To Me At A Party”

  1. I always say the only one who suffers when mom works is mom. I’m the one barely getting enough time to eat or sleep. Plus the whole reason my kids have always taken naps in their cribs and developed good eating habits is all the time they spent with our daycare provider. I am pretty sure I would have effed that up and given into their every whim!

  2. For some moms, working is not a “choice,” it’s a necessity. I don’t choose to work, I choose to support my family so that we can pay our bills, and buy, y’know, food and stuff. And no, I don’t let anyone make me feel guilty about it!

  3. I enjoyed your post since I get this reaction as well. I have a pretty good schedule, but not one that allows me (or my husband who also works full time) to drop off my child at 8:45 and pick her up at 3:45 (this would be considered part time in our world). Most parents I know who work full time in NYC don’t get home until 6:30-7 and have to leave by 7:30-8. Your daughter is lucky to apparently not be affected at all by your work schedule.

    1. I am fortunate to have a flexible schedule. It took me a long time to find a schedule I’m comfortable with. I’m actually considered to be a part-time employee. I know that other working parents have longer work day or less flexibility, but I resent the statements made by others that it is “hard” on the children of working parents. Most children I know are happy, resilient, well rounded individuals who enjoy new experiences and being entertained. I believe that children are affected in some way when their parents make the decision to work, but they are not burdened. Thank you for your comment!

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