High School Throwback: Melissa

22 comments

Disclaimer: I apologize in advance that this is not an uplifting or funny post such the ones written by the other CTWM bloggers.

The majority of my high school years were anything but fun. While I had a small, yet solid, group of friends and a few high school boyfriends, the rest of the time I was dealing with major personal issues surrounding bullying.

Without going into specifics, all I am comfortable with sharing is that I was bullied during my middle school and high school years as well as the early college years. Luckily for me, my parents were very supportive and understanding. However, the drive to seek justice, the standing up for one’s self and demanding change, well, that came from the twelve-year-old (a.k.a. Me). Maybe it was the recurring court appearances, the meetings with school officials and the visits to the police department that taught me to speak up and stand up for myself. It must be, because I don’t think I would be the person I am today if I didn’t experience what I did.

Nonetheless, there are a few things I hope my daughter and all of our children realize when they enter the teenage years:

– Never, ever let anyone say that you are nothing, because you are something very special to all of those whom you touch.

– Speaking up does not mean you are causing a problem. If you are standing up for something good, for something that you believe in, for change, then my dear, speak up!

– Your self-confidence comes from within. Never let anyone control the love you have for yourself. Only you can do that.

– While you cannot control the actions of others, you can control your reactions to them.

– When you are feeling sad, lonely and with not many friends you can rely on, always remember that the teenage years are tough and it’s OK to have a bad day. Just don’t turn your bad day into a bad life. Keep your head up.

– Never feed into the drama and gossip in school. Those who “stir the pot” while looking “cool” really are not that cool in their adult life. In fact, they are losers.

– When times get really hard, sports and academics are great outlets. They will always steer you in the right direction.

– Never feel guilty or ashamed of wanting to talk with a school counselor. They are here to help you; use all the resources you have.

– Never forget to smile, have fun and keep your humor alive. It’s what sets you apart from the rest!

– Lastly, please do not date! We would much appreciate it if you waited until you were in college to find your soul mate, just like Mom and Dad did!

 

22 comments on “High School Throwback: Melissa”

  1. Melissa, what a brave thing to share. It amazes me how cruel people can be in high school–they’re still children, for pete’s sake–and how their words and actions have both an immediate impact and then a lasting one later on in life. You were strong to handle it then, and you are strong now. Love to you!

    1. Thanks Gena! I believe that a lot of bullying can be cut back if the parents just PARENTED their kids better and showed them right from wrong and gave them consequences for their actions. If maddie ever bullied a kid, it would be over in a second, because I would never tolerate it!

  2. Thank you for sharing this story. I might even share it with some of the middle schoolers I work with you show them that you can come out of bad bullying expereiences to turn into something great. Your bullet points were right on! (Especially the one about our girls not dating until college!)

  3. Oh my goodness! I don’t understand how anyone could NOT love you! You are such a wonderful person! Thank you for posting this- it’s an important reminder for parents to read this side of things.

  4. Melissa, it was heartbreaking to learn that you were bullied, and especially to this extent. It seems like the issue was chalked up to “kids will be kids” until very recently. I was bullied as well in elementary and junior high, and fortunately most of it dissipated by the time I got to high school. It sounds like what I went through was just the tip of the iceberg though. I’m so glad you can look back and feel that the experience transformed you into a strong adult! Love you!!

  5. Thank you for sharing your fine words of wisdom! You are an awesome and smart lady (not to mention a savvy pr pro) and I am so glad to know you xoxo!

  6. I appreciate you sharing this. Earlier today the thought crossed my mind to wonder wth was wrong with me in hs, having read all the other posts – I was reflecting on how crappy my hs years were, including a few bad bullying experiences. Thanks for the reminder that I’m not the only one who didn’t love hs, and I agree with your advice…

    1. My pleasure jen, so sorry you didnt have a great hs experience as well. At least we can go through this again with our kids and have it be different. There are so many things i would do differently.

  7. I’m so sorry…It’s so sad that bullying wasn’t even officially recognized until recently. Thanks for speaking out on this!!

  8. I wish you were in my high school I would have kicked some kids butt and made sure they left you alone. With that you are an amazing person so maybe you overcoming those hardships made you so great! Great post

  9. Melissa, I’m sorry to hear that you were bullied. But I do know how you feel. I too was bullied at school though not to the extent that you probably experienced. One of the bullies actually apologized to me a few years later when I ended up in the same class with him at college.

  10. Oh Melissa, I had no idea! I’m sorry (and especially sorry this followed you to college!). You are such an incredible person today ~ what strength you gleaned, Dear Sister. I love your list to your children ~ love every single bullet point. Much LOVE to you.

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