It takes two…or twenty

Probably one of the hardest and most frustrating realizations about the whole IVF process is knowing that you can’t make a baby on your own.  That one intimate act between two people can’t create a third.  I mean, in most amorous situations, you’re not inviting a team of doctors and nurses into your bedroom.  Unless you’re into that sort of thing, or there are costumes and role-playing involved and, hey, no judgment here.  Just saying, the usual equation sums to one and one is two.

But, not in our case.  For us, it takes two…plus at least three reproductive endocrinologists, four nurses, an urologist, seven-or-so phlebotomists, an anesthesiologist, a student observer, three pharmacists, an insurance liaison, an embryologist, a geneticist, and numerous receptionists who know me by sight when I walk in the door.  You know the saying, “it takes a village”?  Well, we’re creating our own damn commune over at UConn Medical Center.  A regular modern family.

Not that it’s all that bad.  When my husband and I are at home, after we’ve left the doctors behind for the day, when we’re left alone to administer the hormones, give the injections, swallow the medications, dream about what life would be like with a baby…it’s just the two of us.  Me and him.  It’s not the most romantic, or sexy, or playful of situations, but it’s a bonding experience nonetheless.  We’re in this together, like we always have been.  Maybe someday soon, when the stars are aligned, the time is right and our math properly adds up, two plus twenty will equal three.

Come on over, there’s more of this to go around!…Okay, totally kidding. He’s all mine! Photo credit: genagolas



14 thoughts on “It takes two…or twenty

  1. The IVF process is truly a labor of love. It was proof to me that my husband loves me far beyond our daily existence. We love each other so much that we went through this crazy, scary, exciting, heart wrenching, heart expanding process together twice. He dealt with my hormonal moods, he provided “specimen” after “specimen” in a room in a hospital, he held my hand and waited with me for a positive pregnancy test, he injected my upper hip with the biggest needle he had ever seen and prayed that these babies would stick and grow and be born healthy. We were blessed with two healthy children from IVF and proof that our marriage was and is strong. Yes, it took a ton of amazing people at the UCONN fertility center to help us, and we are SO thankful. But at the end of the day, it was still our love for each other that made it possible. As it will for you. Good luck!


    1. Of course, I just noticed the date of this original post, because as a mom of two, who looks at details? Congratulations on your little Lenny!


  2. Wow this made me cry. Just recently having lost a twins following our first cycle of IVF, this hits close to home. Wish you all the luck in the world Gena!


  3. Awww, I love this. Maybe if you get in the habit now of having to rely on other people to help you become parents, once you actually ARE parents you’ll be able to more easily ask people for help. None of us can do it alone but many of us believe that we can. 🙂


  4. I so clearly remember the day when Dawn no longer needed me to check in at the counter. I just waved and sat down and she had me already checked in. I often joke about it now, post IF process, that I miss my 6:45am dates with the team…..but at the time it is the awkward date you don’t want to be on.

    Keeping you in my thoughts through this process it pays off. Big time.


  5. I used to be so embarrassed that everyone at my fertility office knew the most intimate details about me and my husband! I got over it pretty quickly, though.

    I remember the first time that DH had to give a sample for either our first IUI or IVF (must have been our IUI since it was the first time??). In any case, we were in the waiting room and the nurse called him in. I wasn’t sure how the procedure went (i.e. would they be taking bloodwork from both of us, etc), so I asked her, “Am I supposed to go in, too?” She looked at me, giggled and said, “Whatever floats your boat! Most husbands can handle it on their own…” Talk about embarrassing!!!


    1. Haha Vivian! Actually, I always wondered if they’d ever let wives in for that sort of thing. I mean, there must be *something* I can do, right??


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