When the time is right

14 comments
Photo credit C.Allard
Photo credit C.Allard

This is Nora. She’s nearly two. Nora still loves to nurse.

We don’t do it as often as we used to. As a busy toddler, sometimes she just can’t find the time. But she still absolutely needs a snuggle first thing in the morning, and usually looks for me when she’s tired or when she feels I’m not giving her my undivided attention.

I never imagined we’d still be here. I wasn’t sure I’d make it past our first week breastfeeding, let alone our first year; forget about year two – or beyond, as it now appears.

I’ve inaccurately predicted the end of our breastfeeding relationship several times against various benchmarks.

Like when I bought the economy sized prenatal vitamins and figured we’d have weaned by the time I finished it and wouldn’t have to buy another…that jumbo bottle came and went.

Or when at cheerleading camp last summer, I just *knew* I wouldn’t be pumping at camp next year…well, we’ll see what happens come August.

I’m ready to fully wean but it’s hard to resist when she cuddles up to me and drags my arm around her body in a hug, keeping her close. There are times when I feel like nursing is an inconvenience to me, but it really is our chance to reconnect, even after spending nearly every day together, even after all this time. I find myself pushing to wean less, trusting that it’ll happen when it’s right, for both of us. I may see a little girl emerging (too) fast, but she’s still my sweet baby.

14 comments on “When the time is right”

  1. My 20 mo son just weaned within the last month, and it’s been so bittersweet. I jokingly call it lazy woman parenting because it makes everything so much easier – travel, temper tantrums, pretty much anything can be solved with a little nursing snuggle time. I do enjoy the freedom of not nursing, but definitely work to get in those snuggles a different way now.

  2. Our daughter weaned a week or two after her 2nd birthday. I don’t know anyone in real life who nursed that long so I don’t talk about it much, but she kept going for a long time. I was ready to be done any time and we knew we wanted to try for a second baby and I had no interest in nursing while pregnant. Still, I wanted it to be on her terms, not on mine, and was glad that it worked out that way.

    1. It’s funny, I know people who nurse until 3 years and beyond, so when I decided I needed to wean my 22-month-old I actually felt like I was doing it too early. Now my second is almost a year old and I’m wondering how long she will want to go. I want it to be on her terms this time. Nursing a toddler while pregnant was rough, very rough. I’m glad things worked out just right for you and your little one!

  3. DD weaned at 22 months. I always imagined we’d go longer, but she stopped asking, and I didn’t offer, since at the time, I felt ready. I still feel generally okay that we’re done, but sometimes feel this ineffable sadness that the nursing part of our relationship is over. At 25 months, she is still my best “snugglybee” and is intensely attached to my arm – if only rubbing it provided antibodies!

    1. It was 22 months for DD1, when DD2 was one week old. I actually chose to wean her because I was in pain and couldn’t figure out why, so I decided to give myself a break and focus on nursing the baby. I was really sad too. 😦 It was only hard the first few days when DD1 would keep asking for “little bit,” but I was ready!

  4. When henry weaned at Christmas this year at 20 months, and a mere month before Isaac arrived, it was very bittersweet. I had always imagined that Id think about weaning after 2, though. But pregnancy affected my supply and maybe he picked up on the changes and was ready to move to the next stage too? Anyhow. Ive found that we still get that closeness in other ways. For us it is the bedtime snuggles (and that was the last nurse to go) and Ill bet that when the time IS right that your girl will still need that morning snuggle, nursing or not. ANd if it is still working for you both then I personally don’t think you need to base anything on an arbitrary age or milestone! GL!

    1. Interestingly for me, though I thought pregnancy #2 would affect my supply and/or get my toddler to wean, I feel she nursed even more and it upped my production. I was exhausted from it the whole last trimester. We almost made it to two – she was 22 months and the baby was a week old when I weaned her because I had trouble with tandem nursing.

  5. Rock on mama! I nursed Mia until she was 2.5 and sometimes she still gets in a snack or two and nothing else in this world helps calm her more, even if I only have a drop left :). Beautiful pic!

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