The doctor is in?

I think anyone who goes through an IVF cycle deserves an honorary medical degree.

Am I right?  I’ve become a pro at administering (and receiving) shots—in my thigh, in my belly, in my rear.  I can use terms like “protocol,” “10 cc syringe” and “sharps container” and actually know what I’m talking about.  With the help of my colleague, Dr. Google, I know how to interpret the results of my blood work and ultrasounds.  My living room is a makeshift exam room, equipped with syringes, vials, alcohol swabs, and sterile gauze pads.  I can tell you which veins in my arms are the best for blood work.  I even know the side driveway into the hospital so that I don’t have to wait at the light at the main entrance.  Someone get me that degree for my wall!

I don't think I'm qualified to unpack this box of meds...
I don’t think I’m qualified to unpack this box of meds…

Okay, so I’m only kidding, and I can’t diminish the incredible work of all of our actual doctors, nurses and medical professionals who have helped us along the way.  I’ll think of our IVF cycle as training to be Dr. Mom; for how to kiss a boo-boo to make it better, how to pull off a bandage so it doesn’t sting as much, how to measure a temperature with the palm of my hand on a forehead, and of course how to wipe plenty of snotty noses and dirty bums.  Training that will come in handy because, when you’re a mom, the doctor is always in.

7 thoughts on “The doctor is in?

  1. Oh, I forgot to say this – my husband used to complain that he had to give me these shots, and I told him that in the grand scheme of things, he was the lucky one because his two big jobs were giving me shots in the butt, and then getting freaky with a plastic cup. Not a bad tradeoff, if you ask me!


  2. That box brings back such crazy memories of my journey – it was definitely no picnic for my husband either. I used to have him do the progesterone (oil) shots in my rear because I could not bring myself to do the intramuscular shots since I’d cringe so much. I’d pull my pants down, bend over the edge of the bed, while he poked me and then massaged my *ss – while it sounds sexy, it was far from it! But yes, it definitely prepared us for all the trials and tribulations that parenting brings – from sucking snot out of a congested baby’s nose to shoving a thermometer up the rear while something is shooting out of it! It’s all part of the experience!

    Good luck to you! When’s the approx transfer?


  3. Going through IVF is like donating your body to science while you’re still alive. That’s what it felt like to me anyway.


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