10 Reasons My Kids Hate Me This Week

13 comments

Do you ever have one of those days (weeks, months, years) when you think your kids HATE you?  When not only do you think you are doing it all wrong, but maybe they do too (or <gasp> someone else is doing it better)?  Both Patty and Sarah hit the nail on the head this week, and got me to thinking of the reasons my kids “strongly dislike” me every now and then.

Let me preface this list by stating the “Mommy Guilt Disclaimer”- I love my children unconditionally, with all of my heart. They are the reason I get up in the morning and fight like hell every day that they have the best little lives ever. But, let’s be real; they are also the reason why bedtime is often the best part of my day, and the wine rack is as essential a fixture in my house as the toilet.  I don’t really think they hate me, in fact I’m pretty sure they love me- they prove it every day with their sweet snuggles and spontaneous “I love yous.”  BUT I also have the sneaking suspicion that they plot together on the regular to see how long it takes this time to make Mommy go bat-shit crazy.

So….

10 Reasons My Kids Hate Me This Week:

1.   I make them eggs and bacon, and occasionally pancakes and waffles on Saturdays and Sundays.  They want cereal.  On the flip-side, they want eggs, bacon, etc mid-week… please???

2.   I make them wear pants in the winter and shorts when it’s hot.

3.   I forbid the Penis/Vagina song from being sung in public, especially at Target and Trader Joe’s, where there seems to be an abundance of perfectly well behaved kids tagging along with their judgmental parents who wonder why I am so bad at this.

4.   When they say blue, they really mean green, and why can I not figure this game out?

5.   We never do anything fun.  The beach, the playground, the amusement park, the museum… McDonald’s… all do not make the fun cut.  I guess I have to look into that space shuttle to the moon…

6.   I make them go outside and play in the sunshine.  I make them stay inside when it is thundering and lightning out.

7.   I took a picture of them.  I should have known the picture would capture her soul, or that she was just done with the paparrazi hounding her.  I’m glad she didn’t have an umbrella.

ava britney
Do you see the resemblance? (Sorry Britney!)
Photo Credit: Britney Pic and Dena Fleno

8.   I make them wholesome lunches to take to school, but Johnnie gets Lunchables and mini chocolate cupcakes muffins for snack.  Alternatively, why am I taking them to McDonald’s again?  Don’t you know this food is unhealthy, MOM!

9.   I make them go to bed, when clearly there should never be any sleeping, unless we are in a rush to get somewhere, in which case why must I make them get up.

10.   I insist they wipe their asses after a poop.  Really, this is non-negotiable.

Someone once said to me, “You’re not doing your job unless your kids hate you every now and then.”

Let’s hope that’s true!

 

Anything to add?  Why do your kids hate you this week?

13 comments on “10 Reasons My Kids Hate Me This Week”

  1. My son hated me for fixing dinner for him after spending all day with him and leaving 45 minutes before his bedtime to spend time with a friend for the second time this year. I evidently spend WAY too much time with my one friend. He was also angry I told him to go play a video game as opposed to ‘helping’ me with dinner because it is a million times faster to do it myself than jump up and find the bread crumbs, the eggs, the garlic salt…(Boys never outgrow that btw.)

  2. So funny. It reminds me of when, during my first year teaching, I was so upset because I overheard one of my students call me a “b*#ch” in the hallway (to her friends). My colleague simply said, “I think that means you’re doing your job!”

  3. Dena, I LOVE you! And I also love how you mix wholesome lunches in with the occasional McD’s…..a Mama after my own heart!

    Let’s see…My baby hated me today because;
    * I insisted on cleaning his poopy diaper instead of letting him marinate in it.
    * I wouldn’t let him have free access to scoop all the sugar out of the sugar bowl.
    * I attempted to brush his teeth…and then for the 40th time said “oh, screw it” because I didn’t want to physically pin him down.

  4. Josh asked to make a “mooobie Daddy” (movie for Daddy) on my phone today. When I said “sure!” he screamed “NO! Mama…NO! NO!!!” and dropped to the floor. And Nate got upset that I said no ice cream after lunch…because we had to frost a billion cupcakes for his school party and he would be licking the beaters. I’m pretty much a super-villan.

  5. Ha! So true. I always try to (sarcastically) point out to my kids when they are hating on me for doing something NICE for THEM. That usually just makes it worse.

    1. I know right? There have literally been times that my kid was crying about getting an ice cream- because it was lopsided… what?!?! IT’S ICE CREAM!!!

  6. Ha! Well here are some reasons Lillian was mad at me today:
    1. I made her get off the swings so we could leave daycare.
    2. I kissed her on the head.
    3. I made her wear her seat belt.
    4. I took her to the mall to buy HER shoes which meant we had to drive in the car longer.
    5. I clipped her toenails so that they wouldn’t start curling into her skin from being so crazy long.

    Oh wait, that’s just from the past two hours! She screamed at me for all of the above. Ahhhhh motherhood.

  7. Haha Dena. This is hilarious! Ditto on #10 and because I make her wash her hands afterward. I’m such a mean mommy :p

  8. I love this post! You are correct that if your kids like you all the time you are not doing a good job 🙂

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